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"I do know" He averts his eyes

"Parker," Brian says, beckoningthe stats book "Yeah, Coach?"

"Stand withuess you could say that"

I’ame

And in four-two

I’m very happy

Now I’a Brian flirt with a woman who’s with the Tullaho a Wildcats parka, jeans, and ballet flats Seriously? I can’t believe he’d talk to a coach who’d dare to wear so so ridiculous onto a baseball field

Then I look down at ht sweater, skinny jeans and Converses My leany better than Coach Vixen over there

She’s much prettier and curvier thantoward her and laughing at everything she says

I should stop watching, but I can’t look away My chest hurts My eyes burn Then it gets worse: she pulls her phone out of her back pocket and hands it to him He enters his numbers for her

And to think I played MASH with him

I stomp up the stairs to the bus and flop onto my bench When Brian climbs aboard, I foldthis story about how he saw a hot pink dildo laying on the concrete behind the cafeteria back at Hundred Oaks and all the guys are hollering and carrying on, trying to guess how it got there

"I bet it belongs to Ms McCanly," Jake Sanders says

"I bet it was put there by aliens!" Corndog calls out

"Oh God," Brian groans

I sneak a peek at him His eyes are shut and he looks exasperated, thanks to the tale of the dildo He glances over at me and smiles "C’mere"

I’uys are paying attention tosure not to touch hi? You’ve been upset a lot today"

I pick at the hole inKih escapes my lips "No"

"Then what is it?" he asks softly There’s care in his voice

I look out the e fly past cornfields "Who was that lady you were talking to? You know, Coach Vixen in the ballet flats"

"Coach Vixen?" he exclaiivesuh school with her We haven’t seen each other in years"

"She’s pretty"

"She’s all right," he replies, shaking his leg up and down

I suck on my bottom lip

He jabs me softly in the side "Let’s play another round of that MASH galoo, drive a tractor, and elina Jolie instead"

sinner extraordinaire

43 days until i turn 18

On Sunday, Dad, Ryan, and I head to church ThisI had to pound on Ryan’s door for five minutes before he woke up Sweat drenched his clothes, and he could barely open his eyes as he rubbed his face He leaned against the wall before s and toast to fill his stomach and hopefully clean out whatever he drank/ate/snorted/shot up last night

When I confronted Dad in the laundry room about Ryan, he said, "Your brother’s an adult" He moved wet socks from the washer to the dryer "I can’t tell him how to live his life" Then Dad put an arm around my shoulder, kissed my head, and told me to call Mom sometime

Daddy Denial, as always I find it funny that Dadhio pulls into the parking lot, and I see Tate standing by hi set I hop out of the car and skip over to hiry lately"

"I’ down at his tie that’s covered by elled up, but I like it Together we start walking to the Fellowship Hall He fu in his pocket

"Where’s Aaron?" I say

"Uh, he went inside already," Tate replies

"Why?"

"You, um, never returned his calls…"

"So…?" I look at Tate sideways

"So he thought you were interested"