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"Beringer?" I say "You prooing to happen to us?"
He won’t look at ine hoe can survive with one less earning Connolly and one o so soon" My pulse is clubbing inside my chest and I have to press
Gabe’s face is utterly unchanged, and I know that I’ I can think of, so I say it
"I’ in the races," I tell him Just like that
Now I have both my brothers’ full attention, andover a hot stove
"Oh, come on, Kate," Gabe says, but his voice is not as sure as it should be He half believeselse, I have to think about it and decide if I believe ed in the wind, the feel of Dove stretching out into a gallop I think of the day after the races, the red-stained sand high up on the beach where the ocean has yet to reach I think of the last boats leaving for the winter, and Gabe on one of them
I could do it, if it came to it
"I a out Training starts tomorrow" I am so, so proud thatall sorts of things without parting his lips, and I know that he is going through all the counterarguments in his head Part of me wants him to say "you can’t" so I can ask "why?" and he would have to realize that he can’t answer "because you ht leave Finn by himself" And he can’t ask "why?" because then he’d have to answer that question as well I should be feeling very clever and pleased with myself, because it’s very hard to render Gabe speechless, buttip-tip-tip inthat he’ll say that if I don’t ride, he’ll stay
But finally he says, "All right I’ll stay until after the races" He looks cross "But no longer than that, or the boats will stop running ’til spring This is a really stupid thing you’re doing, Kate"
He’s mad at me, but I don’t care about that All I care is that he’s staying, for a little while longer
"Well, sounds like we’ll need theto sound as adult and blasé as possible, but thinking that maybe if I do win the et up from the table and putThen I walk into my room, close the door, and put my pillow over my head so no one will hear
"Selfish bastard," I whisper, the words close under the pillowcase
Then I burst into tears
CHAPTER FOUR
SEAN
I a of the sea when they wake ht Corr, but I can hear the sea in ht at night are faster and stronger, and so it is three in theon a boulder at the base of the cliffs, several hundred feet from the sand beach Abovea hundred feet overme It should be dark, hidden froht off the pale rock, and I can see just well enough not to stumble on the coarse, kelp-covered rocks on the floor The stone beneath my feet has more in common with the seafloor than the shore, and I have to take care not to lose
In the dark, in the cold, I ae in the sound of the ocean The water is rising, quickly and silently; the tide is co in, and in an hour, this incoher thanfor the sound of a splash, for the rush of a hoof breaking the surface, for any hint that a capall uisce is e Because by the time you hear a hoof click on the stones, you are dead
But there is nothing but the eerie silence of the sea: no seabirds at night, no shouts of boys on the shore, no distant hum of a boat’s motor The wind is ruthless as it finds me in the arch Unbalanced by its sudden force, I slip and catch ers splayed I hurriedly pull my hand back -- the walls of the arch are covered with blood-red jellies that wink and glisten at ht of the moon My father toldis completely harmless
Below me, the water creeps between the boulders as the tide co
I hear a sound, like a kitten , and I freeze There are no kittens or babies here on the beach; there is only me and the horses Brian Carroll has told ht, he can so to each other under the water, and it sounds like whale song, or a ailing, or so
I look down to the water in the deepest cleft of the rocks belowhere? The boulders in front ofbut shiny humps of rock barely above the black water I am empty-handed, but I am also out of time -- I need to turn back and pick my way across the seaweed-slimed rocks while I still can
I look at my hand; a thick trickle of blood has welled in athers, swells, drips soundlessly into the water My palm will hurt later I look at the water where my blood disappears I am silent The cave is silent