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I’ure you out

WILL

And?

LIZBETH

I haven’t

This is the point where the song on the soundtrack will end, and we stand looking at each other for ten seconds His eyes are cold, and the chill between us twists in the pit ofTen seconds can be a very long time It feels like an hour before Richter calls, "Cut!" and we turn and walk in opposite directions

Fil under water for a few seconds too long, but breaks are their own sort ofscrutinized by everyone on set They all know that last night, whatever was going on between us ended Unpleasantly Speculations fly, buzzing near but never landing; no one knows exactly what happened, only that soodda to end

Chapter 40

REID

The scenes with Emma are the hardest I’ve ever had to filed her forgiveness and told her that Blosso? Does it make any difference that it’s true? I needed a distraction last night to nu under the surface after the confrontation with Brooke, after Emma disappeared and wouldn’t answer lacier between us, cold andwith Brooke, staring at Blosso it won’t be possible

It’s a good thing Will Darcy is sort of a dick, or I’d never be able to pull this off

I bristle at the idea that I should feel sorry for what happened alo, when it likely wasn’t even ht about this shit in years Even seeing Brooke when filht long ago to purge the ending frouy,me to say it back, feel it back I adored her, and she betrayed ht have been mine? Why should I have cared?

Eirl She views my actions as desertion And h to deal with--an alcoholic mom and a career to keep on track and build I don’t need this shit I’ on?"

My father’s question hangs in the several hundredonan SAT practice test online I’ll have to start over if this conversation doesn’t end quickly

"Um, what do youto the ru up with one or both of theether

"Is there anything you need to talk to me about?" This is a characteristically evasive question that I’rateful for (because I don’t have to answer to anything specific) and annoyed by (does he even care?)

"No"

He’s quiet for alike this Sometimes he asks, because he thinks he should But he doesn’t really want to deal with it So I’m taken by surprise when he doesn’t drop the subject, but instead asks a question that blows my nice predictable view of ive to celebrity gossip, but I can’t pretend it’s all crap, I can’t ignore it if… if you need my help Because, dammit, I’m your father, and that’s ulp, "are you pregnant?" If this isn’t a nighth I’ but little clucks co out until finally I say, "No No"

He exhales, and I iine his hand at his forehead, his eyes closed This tih alert, not that it helps "I knoe’ve never really discussed, uh, sex, before," he charges on, "but as your father, I have to make sure you have the tools you need to be safe"

"Huh," I say,

"So, you know that uh, condoainst not only unwanted uh, pregnancy, but also STDs--er, sexually transh I’ve never heard it before, as though I haven’t known it since Grand to contain iant sex ed TMI, "…herpes and chlah there are more, but you don’t need to know thee, like so it, because I don’t think of him as Dad He’s my father, formal and impassive Like our relationship has been since Mom died "I… I know all of this"

"Oh? Did Chloe--?"

"No," I say, too harshly "No--Grandma, and E

"Eht with Eer "She’s not talking to me and I don’t knohat I did or what I can do or should do"

He goes quiet again, and just as I start to beratethis out to hi her?"

"Sort of Not really I don’t knohat to say" I sniffle "She thinks I was ignoring her, and maybe I was, but I didn’t mean to…"

"Then that’s what you say, sweetheart" He hasn’t called"You and Emily have been like sisters for als up on me? What if she hates me?"

"E you two have been attached at the hip Now you’re both about to be adults, have separate lives Maybe she’s scared of losing you"

"Then why is she pushing me away?" I sob

He’s quiet for a moment "Because that’s what people do so reactive Maybe you need to be the brave one"

"But I’m not brave," I say, my voice small

"Oh, honey, I don’t know anyone braver than you" What? "Let’s ht And I’ll tell Chloe that you’re going to college next fall SAT a week fro, "You haven’t told her?"

"Time forand he joins in

"Are you going to tell her about your lunches at McDonald’s?" I ask, teasing I try to be rational and suppress the hope that this is for real, but hope has a way of closing its eyes to reason and it just keeps growing