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In avefor Deb’s new rooraded--not just in privacy, but in understated touches like the chair and the south-facing , the better-quality bedding and furniture, the patterned rug underfoot When I get home, I’l explore the law firm’s website and look for clues to the anonymous benefactor For now, I’ her laughter and her listening ear

"Hey Deb," I say,like waves into the silence She doesn’t stir, of course "I like your new room" Out her , clouds move in streaid in LA, but winter is stil chil y "Next ti a heavier sweater and we’l check out the garden" Staring at her, I wonder if it’s possible that she can hear oing to find out who your secret ad Bradford the box of clothes and the ivy plant, and I can’t speak around what feels like a fist in my throat I’ve discarded the notion that the room is fro so extravagant He checks in with Mo off Bradford is o ahead and start at Berkeley next lance at my watch "But I’l be around for a fewweekends and breaks" I’ve only been here elevento herself, basical y, for an hour ora new Habitat project in a couple of weeks

Roberta’s the crew leader on this one I’et details I’l tel you about it next time" I adjust her chair so she can see out the ithout catching any glare should the sun ee I don’t knohat she sees, or if she can perceive orher forehead, I squeeze her li the cal button, I let the nursing staff know I’ and walk down the hal way Not until I reach the stairwel doon keeping control, and I congratulatemy sister, alone, for twelve wholeyour cal --or should I say calls--since apparently, blatantly ignoring you doesn’t work like it does on nor to be painless, but good God, Brooke can stil wind me up as much as she did at fifteen

When she’s pissed, her Texas drawl shows up So as much as she’d like me to believe she’s only bothered, the accent tel s ood tie with my father One deep breath, in and out, and then another Counting to three or ten or fifty before replying "I don’t want anything, Brooke I just need to say so, and I’d like you to let s we said to each other during our last few conversations, shock would be about right "So talk," she says, not as tough as she’d like to sound

"I want to apologize--"

"Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of twelve-step bul shit? We haven’t spoken in months You made what you think of me loud and clear This, Reid, is what’s known as too dah my hair and over my face and I admit, my first instinct is to abandon this whole plan After al , Brooke hating s I’er Hol ywood entity than she is, so I don’t need to worry about her vetoingin another deep breath and pushing it out, slowly, I’

"Brooke, I rong to abandon you when you found out you were pregnant, no irlfriend, and I should have been there to support whatever decision you e ahead "The only excuse I have is that I was a child then Stil , I screwed up, and I’ if she hung up so that speech Al about… trying to find hi Just to make sure he’s okay Would you… would you want me to let you knohat I find out?"

My jaw clenches while I fight the deep-rooted soreness of her betrayal, like a toothache that’s never been dealt with Not for the first time, I wonder why she acts like she knows it was ain With time comes perspective It doesn’t matter if it--

if he--was or wasn’t hs "I knohat you’re thinking At the risk of trashing this little interlude, I’l repeat what I’ve said before

He’s yours He can’t possibly be anyone else’s because when I turned that stick blue, I’d never slept with anyone but you So unless it was an immaculate conception, he’s yours"

Okay, wait "Brooke, the story, the photos, that guy--"

"Complete tabloid lies I never cheated on you Yes, after we had that fight I dirty danced with that guy at that club I wanted toback to me and say I was yours and no one else could have me I did not, would not have cheated on you Not with hi e of lad I didn’t cal her when I was out driving around because the surge of adrenaline ismy whole body quake

"Brooke, why did you let ht you loved me and I didn’t think I should have to convince you that I hadn’t done sonant… and you didn’t--" She stifles a cry "I can’t talk about this anymore

What’s done is done If I find hihts are spinning too quickly to take shape "I do

I do want"

She sniffs, her voice s out "Okay I’l let you know Goodbye, Reid"

She hangs up before I reply

I don’t knohy I believe her now, but I do I have a son

Correction: I had a son, for a few s to someone else--and that’s definitely just as welWe were children We would have had no business trying to raise one That kid is, what, four? And this is the first tiht about him That’s fucked up