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‘I believe what he’s told me I believe what he says he feels And when it comes down to it … what he says he does or feels is thens with these declarations, and I see that this is how rebellions of all kinds gain strength – inside the avowals

My mother narrows her eyes, and I know her question before she articulates it fully ‘Dori Are you and he –’

‘Mom Please don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to, because I won’t lie to you Not any more’

Her face is a picture of defeat, individual features downturned in surrender ‘So you expect us to sit by while you begin a sordid relationship with a … a celebrity’ Her voice cracks, but wobbles on ‘A young man who’ll use you and cast you aside when he tires of you –’

‘If that’s what you want to believe If that’s what you think I’m capable of’

‘I don’t knohat you’re capable of any h ‘I see that But maybe you never did’

Those are perhaps the truest words any of us have just spoken

When I open the door, he pulls off his sunglasses and steps inside, as beautiful as always He’s toned-down – as regular-boy as possible, for him: beneath his favourite Lakers cap, brim pulled loisps of blond hair fall across his forehead and curl around his ears and te his button-fly jeans His navy T-shirt isn’t too closely fitted, but even still, it can’t hide the solid curve of his wide shoulders and sculpted torso

I pressme close, he wraps his arms around me and takes a deep, easy breath as I curl into hi remains the same forever, no matter how much I wish it would But in this moment, I love this boy, and I know he loves er be true

But ed and all the ones we held back, and I can’t picture the us

‘Hey’ He turns the brim of the cap backwards and tips my chin to examine my eyes ‘What’s this?’

I duckht this would work’

He cupsinto my eyes ‘So little confidence in h I suppose we’d fare better if we don’t reveal a few ofattributes to your parents … Your obsession within translation’

I choke an incredulous laugh This is never going to work Without loosening rip on hi ‘Can we just run away fro mischief ‘Sure Where to? Paris? Madrid? It’s summer in Melbourne, you know’

I’m so not used to these surreal sorts of conversations I know he’s playing along withme an out he knoon’t take, but if my request was serious, none of these are io, he asked me about my birthday, which is a ht up cars a half-hour later, quizzing me about trans he was seriously considering such an outrageous gift, I mentioned that I won’t need a car at Cal ‘Hht that was the end of it until later, sitting at his kitchen table, he asked et around in Berkeley without a car

‘Aweso my bike’

He paused, a forkful of pasta halfway between his plate and his hed ‘No – the other kind of bike I’o for a spin on my Harley?’

I squeaked when he pulledmy waist, he bowed his mouth to my ear and breathed, ‘Yes Yes, I do’ And then his father strode into the kitchen, announcing his presence by clattering dishes on to the butcher-block island while feigning ignorance of our PDA-laden presence at the table

Now, I tap a finger againstaway frouess I should pack my swimsuit’

‘Mmm Better and better Do you own a bikini?’

‘Well, no’

That single diuess we have so to do first’ He lowers his mouth to mine just as my dad – who refuses to pretend he doesn’t see us – ees from the hallway to his study and clears his throat

‘Well, that ell’ Sarcasm is a favourite line of defence for Reid

I knew Moht be inflexible I couldn’t very well expect theht when they’re so opposed to the notion of Reid and ht they’d be openly prejudicial My altruistic parents urged their daughters to reject racisotry and intolerance, and our entire lives, Deb and I learned by following their exa the fact that their broad- as the individuals aren’t famous and affluent

I’ with the short, denigrating interview h He seems remarkably unperturbed by what they said and how they said it – more so than I am I’m livid and embarrassed