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Yet --or so for and this is very different These are the lonely and the desperate, fearful that their lives have noThey yearn for the bullet, if only so what I do now, Bob, I think that hat Mitch wanted me to see, whether he knew it or not

After two hours, ritty and sore I closed the book and reached for rab it, the book slipped off my lap and thumped to the floor My eyes shot to my mother, but she hadn‘t moved I bent to retrieve the book which lay facedown, covers splayed like a broken bird As I retrieved it, I noticed a slip of paper that must‘ve been tucked into the back of the book The print was dile and squint

Saul’s Rare Books, it read There was a snail mail address, as well as a phone number and web site There was the title of Lasker‘s book followed by a column of numbers and a final tally: 12757

A sales receipt My eyes snagged on the date: October 3

I knew that date because my ave ht

Don’t you have an English project?

No No

A week later, Mitch said he already had this book in his library Hadn‘t he? I couldn‘t reht, wait, wait My heart skipped a beat, then two Wait, he hadn‘t lied, he did have the book, but

I closed my eyes, replayed thein the doorway Then I remembered the handwritten slip I‘d stolen: J

And lover

A note to himself

A reminder to buy the book?

―No,‖ I said aloud ―No, it wasn‘t like that‖

f

As I headed down to the cafeteria, I‘d decided that I must‘ve misunderstood Either hether he had the book already or only thought he had it and then bought it because he cared aboutof me That was all that counted

A few people were already filing through with trays I ss, and as I spied a cafeteria lady flipping sausage patties, my stomach complained I hadn‘t eaten since yesterday afternoon, but my stomach would have to wait I chose a table in the corner and, holdingTwo Then: ―Hello?‖

―Mitch, it‘s--‖ The words died in istered that the voice wasn‘t his ―I‘ for Mr Anderson Who is this?‖

―This is Kathy,‖ she said ―Mitch‘s wife‖

47: a

The words were a punch in the gut My knees went suddenly wobbly and weak It was a good thing I was already sitting down

―Who‘s this?‖ Mrs Anderson said ―Is this the police again? Mitch has already told you everything he knows Do you knohat time it is? Who is this?‖

What? Police? Why would they talk to Mitch about the fire? ―II‘m on Mi--Mr

Anderson‘s track tea about you You‘re another one of Mitch‘s girls, aren‘t you? Orwait‖ Her voice changed and she whispered, ―Is this Danielle?‖

I blinked I actually pulled ain and said, ―No My name‘s Jenna Lord I‘m Mr Anderson‘s TA? In chemistry? And I

I need to talk to him About Monday‖

― Now? It‘s Friday‖

Think fast, think fast ―Uhency My mom‘s in the hospital and I probably won‘t uess I‘m just so worried and upset‖

I think it helped that all this was true, because Mrs Anderson said just a o wake hiive him his cell I listened to , closing, and voices

Then Mitch was on the line: ―Jenna? What is it, what‘s wrong?‖

―You‘re with your wife,‖ I blurted, loudly enough that tomen four tables away lifted their heads and stared I scooted around until I was facing the cafeteria hich was a nauseating puke-brown

―In separate roo doeetheart She surprised me‖

―She had your cell‖

―She had some calls to make back to her faoing on?‖ He listened as I pushed out the words around tears and then said, ―Oh honey, is there anything I can do?‖

―Can you coht have shaken his head because there was a sht away‖