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When they shocked e supernova Fire hot enough to fry skin andand so bad you can‘t die fast enough I wanted to scream at the doctors to stop, stop, but I was s and boiledin and then sucking out the air fros So, there was no way to tell anyone what I wanted Wouldn‘t have done any good anyway because no one will let a kid die They think they‘re doing you this big favor keeping you going because you‘ve got your whole life ahead
Well, news flash, Bob: Not Necessarily
Because you think there‘s only one kind of pain? That pain is pain is pain?
Uh, that would be no
There‘s blood-pain There‘s knife-pain There‘s bang-your-funny-bone-pain
And then there is the pain of fire,over rotten wood and naked flesh That pain moves when you move; it mutters between every breath; it spikes your ears; it rips You think pain can‘t be any more horrible than that
Until you discover that the well is bottomless There‘s always more A different kind of pain, etting ahead of myself
Pain‘s not all I rehts The beep of monitors
Needles and tubes Lots of facesGod, now that I think of it, they brought me to this same ER Maybe these are the same doctors, but I don‘t know because I faded in and out I do recall that everyone, every face, was grim, like they‘d read this story before and knew the end wasn‘t pretty
Later, the doctors said how lucky I was that my mom and Matt had decided to pick me up from Grandpa‘s early Lucky to be alive Lucky, lucky, lucky
Yeah, that‘saround the bush I know I am I don‘t want to tell this story, Bob, and you knohy? Because this is a fairy tale with teeth and claws, and here‘s what coht and wrong I‘ive that to you That‘s the probleuous, or a really bad cliché
But this is the truth, Bob: I‘irl, a princess, a thief--and a killer
And ins with Mr Anderson
2: a
Of course, the library doors were locked
Score another point for Psycho-Dad, who got impatient when I reminded him to double-check and make sure the school librarian would be there to let ht before ―I talked to the school last week They said there was no probleh was one of those Psycho-Dad co to a new McMansion ninety miles north of Milwaukee after my stint on the psych ward Or was that my breakdown? No, no, it was my ―little episode,‖ Psycho-Dadspeak for my stay in the place where the nuts feed the squirrels My father always called it a ― little episode,‖
as if ht on past
We were in Rebecca‘s office when he first floated the idea in March, and although I hadn‘t known it then, I‘d only see my therapist twice n
―Turing irl She‘s just had a
little episode, that‘s all When she was on the, ah‖
―Ward?‖ I prompted I was sprawled in my usual spot, a plump, brown leather armchair ―Unit?‖
Dad‘s lips set in this line above his chin, a fissure in granite I never talked to my father like that at home, not unless I wanted Psycho-Dad to pay a visit Of course, the go-to for that is he‘s a shock traueon and and screws his nurse and has temper tantrums because he‘s just under so much stress Not that we talk about the blow-outs or the affairs All that‘s no one‘s business It‘s a fa about, Bob
But Rebecca‘s office was my turf Dad had to behave himself Doctors are very sensitive about their reputations in front of other doctors, even if the other doc is a shrink and the lowest form of life because all docs know that the med students who becoin with, the ones ent all girly around blood and guts Rebecca being a girllwell, that was proof
―Yes,‖ he said ―Your teacher there said you were light-years ahead of the other kids‖
This was true, though that wasn‘t saying much In the four months I‘d been an inpatient, there were only two kids who stayed long enough to need ular homework delivered One was eleven and manic half the ti to blow up the joint, that is The other girl was seventeen, had gotten pregnant, and then started throwing up to stay thin The baby finally starved, and sheI think there was only one here she wasn‘t walking around with a feeding tube taped to her nose, and a psych tech within aruidance counselor at Turing,‖ Dad was saying ―They‘ve assuredwith kids who‘ve had