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Her breath hitched and went shallow, her neck tightened, and she flushed all through, but not in a good way Not aroused as she had been with Matt just hours ago, their bodies pressed together, flesh intertwined, his fingers seeking the heart of her and entering –
"Lydia? You need to sit down" Krysta's hands were on her elbo, leading her to a chair at the kitchen table "Breathe," Krysta intoned Lydia tried, but couldn't Pant pant pant Pinpoints of white and dark filled her vision line
What had she done? Her entire life was at stake She enty-five and had a graduate degree and needed to work to pay her bills Matt stoked so ehly buried, for years Ah, those hands on her, hungry and clai her flesh as his mouth had dominated her, practically ordered her to kiss him back and –
"BREATHE!" Krysta suddenly blew a puff of air in her face, the way lifeguards tried to revive a swi CPR or how mothers would stop a toddler's tantrum Sos in one slow, steady hiss, then whoop! she inhaled deeply, so swift a ragged edge of air dried out her throat, starting a coughing spas the base of Lydia's neck "You were gonna pass out"
Hot tears filled Lydia's eyes and throat, salty and wet and demoralized as Krysta added, "Lydia, II’m sorry I didn’t mean to – oh, shit"
All Lydia could think about was how stupid she’d been today and that whatever she felt for Matt– sorrow? fear? disgust? – washed over her as she cried big, ugly tears that only a best friend like Krysta could watch without judgment
"I can’t explain it," she sobbed "There’s just this, this, attraction I know, I know," she said, holding up her hands in protest "I sound like every other woman in the world And yet, I really, truly cannot explain it, Krysta"
She wiped the tears fro like hot, wet tissue paper "I’et it now The rush, the boldness, the need, Krysta Dao to places that they haven’t gone before To want those hands on me I just – "
"Oh, gross, Lydia!" Krysta shook her head in e
"What?"
"You know I haven’t had sex in over a year! This is torture It’s bad enough to listen to you talk about practically throwing away your entire career for some desperate kiss in a supply closet, but to have to listen to you talk about it like that – "
Krysta’s shoulders relaxed, and she sluered anything like that inlook "If that’s what you felt in those few hours of knowing this guy, then I can’t judge you In fact, I think I’m a little envious"
"What?" Lydia sat there, stunned, staring at her best friend Was Krysta validating her feelings? Telling her it was OK to be attracted to Matt, to give in to this strange chemistry that made no sense? Compelled by some force she didn't know existed, she wanted him ferociously, the need primal and severe, almost violent How could that be safe? Acceptable? Proper?
Professional?
"Nor on these issues," Lydia smirked Tears dried, she cocked her head and shot her friend a withering look "Do you have any idea how h when it coh Betty White gets ets randma," Krysta said
"Don't talk about Grandhties and had a steady boyfriend Probably did getwomen
"But none of those walks of sha like what you’re talkin’ about, Lydia," Krysta confessed
Fuck! She was right, but the last thing Lydia wanted to do right noas reckon with reality, with the tension between how she should act and how she did feel To an outsider, the whole ly stereotypical Who would have guessed that Lydia Charles, third-wave fe so cloyingly cliché as falling for her boss?
Her very hot, alpha-male boss who acted like he not only owned the place, but he also owned her
"You need to call your mother – "