Page 19 (1/2)

That’s hoith h, the analysis, the intellect, the give and take, the back and forth, was all lockstep Dead on She was in the affirmative and had her case down cold, and because I was in the negative and had ument She was more confident on the affir, noto come down to a loss for me I tried I did

But at the end e shook hands, I knew I just knew Her eyes were confused, brilliant and alive, but perplexed because our eh that she could read hten My free hand twisted to a fist My jaw clenched An impulse to pull her into my arms and kiss her almost overrode the sense of polite decency that was expected of us Besides, I had no desire to get expelled

"Want to wait together?" she said

Soave way I kneas over I knew that I was fourth or fifth, which to ht as well have been 1,117th He would considerAs alked back to that quiet classroo had turned on a di each other, the hard reality sank in, seeping through everyof concrete I’d lost They didn’t have to announce it for ainst ,to cover it up I didn’t want that Nobody wants to see an angel clip their wings Nobody wants to take away sooing to be like hi to crush her just because I could, or because it served so If I was going to be great it would be because I was great, not because I pushed other people down

A atmy entire life with those brown eyes She hadn’t needed to push me down in order to rise above me All she’d needed was to be uy, and a fairly coa a full ride and knohat I had to go home to was a whole other situation

Was I perfect? No Was I mature? Not really And so, when I leaned down and took that ever-so-sweet kiss, I didn’t knohat the fuck I was doing Why did everything have to happen at once? My mind raced as our lips touched, as I tasted her pleasure and her energy It gave me some sort of fuel forout inside How could socancel it all out?

I would go home to a father ould co me Not with his hands, not with a weapon, but with his mouth How could I take so much enjoyment from one person’s mouth, Amy’s pure connection, and yet, experience so much pain from another’s? It was funny, a mouth’s a mouth, but it’s how you use it that turns it into an instrument of the divine, or a tool for destruction

Too s pounded through me, too many drurowled a fa Her turn to wipe her mouth "Joe," she whi at both of us and then just shaking his head, turning away

It felt like being an in told it was ti to say A back, and I knew I should, but the part ofto coo and sit with headphones on, and blastto ee I wished I had tio for a twentythat would just get me out of my own mind, but I couldn’t I had to walk, step by step, next to her down the linoleum floored hallway I had to turn and step on the carpet in the auditorium and look at the expectant faces of my teammates I had to break contact fro to be okay, even as a knot for honored it I kneasto find out If he really cared he’d be here, right? Right? What he cared about was the surface, not the depth Aive a fuck about anything anyo away All of it

Mr Feehan whispered sos would be, and I turned to him and said, "I think I lost"

"Everyone thinks that," he said back, bright blue eyes twinkling, bags under his eyes a swollen pink I knoas trying to make me feel better, but it just added to the cacophony

The final cerelas results toward the end If I had been sitting next to Aot to the announcements of our names, well, her name, I probably would have had her in tears because I was shut down You could have gotten ranite

Talia Sheridan’s name was first, Mike Zendo was second, and when they went to announce nu their breath, the freshy erroneously focused on ave the announcements said "Amy Smithson" I stood up and walked out, scores of eyes on ain, I am my father’s son