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Though I was powerfully curious about Matt's writing, I knew better than to pester hiured he would volunteer what he wanted me to knohich turned out to be very little

Soot hoeneral

I loved to hear hie as it sounds, and consuuing points I wasn't contending, and he stared into the heart of a fire I could not see

My lover was a writer He was a writer first, and my lover second

On the last Friday in Noveed off lanced atI worked for Pa Hannah"

"Ms Wing" I smiled

"I need you to read these manuscripts" She tapped two thick envelopes on ot tih them"

"Sure thing Is that all?"

"For now" Pam moved toward the door "Oh, and when you're done with that"

"H at me Yikes, playful Paet the ti froratified

"Pam!" I whined

She stepped into her office and returned with a stack of pages I snatched them There was no doubt in es, but I didn't care

I shut out the world and read hungrily

It was The Surrogate, of course It was the complete manuscript

The story darkened as I read, and ate's lover found out his secret and abandoned hi his turmoil in the prose Only a few people would know the truth of this fiction

If I had wondered at Matt's agony in the cabin in Geneva, now I knew For him, the loss of me was a presence

a hole in his life that should not be filled It was over, and it could not be over because he could not forget She would beco lasts forever, and nothing ever ends

I scrubbed the tears from my eyes I wanted to fly home to Matt, but I'd only put two hours on the clock Fuck

Matt's novels notoriously ended on low notes The Surrogate was no exception It closed with the surrogate on the run

I gaped at the final line

He disappeared off the cold grid, into the blackness of darkness

What did that vague-ass sentence ate kill hi before I got there

"Okay Hannah, what do you think?"

"I think he's a dick! And I hate literary fiction!" I jabbed the etting you by the balls, only to tear them off!"

Pam raised a blow I blinked

"Why Hannah, I didn't know your opinions could be so explicit"

"Sorry, I--"

"Quite alright Matthew's view of the world is dark But you know that, don't you? I took you for a fan"

I folded ht I loved Matt's fiction when I didn't love Matt

Now?

Now I saw hi around the kitchen--and I couldn't bear to think he housed such strange sorrow

Sad things seem truest to me

His words More of his words

"Pam, I--"