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"Yeah, but then you’re in pain"

Kelly shrugged "It takes so able to feel it all the way through I’ ht the cigarette to his arette in almost twenty years But he still liked the way they felt in his hands, the ritual of bringing one to his lips, the way the tobacco s, huh?"

Nick s

Kelly snickered and sat "You knohat the squids used to call you behind your back when you’d do that?"

"Ghost lighter," Nick answered, beginning to sarette to him, and he put it in his mouth and sucked on the filter like Nick had done, then handed it back

Nick stared at the cigarette for a long hteen when he’d met Ty, and the man had almost instantly broken him of it He hadn’t shah He’d siarette was one more weakness someone could exploit and that had been that

A week later, Nick had been al that re for the action It didn’t arette, a straw, or a stick He al in his mouth, like the toothpick Kelly had plucked fro It didn’t matter It was still a weakness, he supposed One of his few And Kelly knew the whole story

"I could never break myself of it"

"We all have our vices," Kelly lanced at Kelly,his eyes "I’m sorry"

Kelly shook his head "Me too I knew better I shouldn’t have poked at that"

"You’re one of the only people who knows it’s there to poke I have to give you points for that" They stared at each other in the silence, neither coarette to hisin the faint taste of tobacco before handing it over to Kelly "You ready for that walk now?"

"No" Kelly pulled a lighter out of his back pocket and lit the cigarette He took a long drag, then exhaled the srinned "A hole shot in h the stitches," he said, snickering as he handed it back to Nick

Nick sht He turned his attention to the glowing tip of the cigarette He’d been a private the last tier, then turned it over and ground the tip into the railing

When he tore his attention away fro him "You knohat I always adht fro "That’s not exactly a huge feat"

"Yeah, it is In our lives? The things we’ve been part of? Yeah, it is Your ht way And no matter what you wanted, you always follohere it led you So if last night didn’t feel right to you, I’ll trust that"

Nick stared at hiave him He was both honored by Kelly’s opinion of him and oddly disappointed He shook his head What scared hi It had felt right Really fucking right And that was the core of his current proble

Kelly took a deep, shaky breath "But at the risk of pissing you off evento say this again because I don’t think you’ve heard it enough I don’t think you believe it"

Nick’s entire body went cold He held his breath, telling hiood man," Kelly whispered "One of the best I’ve ever known And if you’re denying yourself a life with someone who loves you because you don’t think you deserve it, then you’re not as s no to me because you’re afraid, then you’re a pussy"

Nick’s lips twitched "How long did you practice that before you ca into a sood"

"You believein his stomach "Yeah, I do"

"Do you believe h He ran his fingers over his forehead, s crookedly "Yeah, I do This is the worst idea we’ve ever had"

Kelly’s grin widened "I agree Want to go upstairs and get naked?"

"Kind of," Nick drawled

"Want to not shed Their camaraderie had always been easy Nick’s inner composure fed off Kelly’s outward calm, and Kelly’s quirkiness fed off Nick’s nonchalance Kelly was probably right when he said there’d be no drama between the closer to Nick He slapped his shoulder and waved at hi to the far side of the swing to let Kelly settle beside hi and Kelly leaned into the crook of his ar they’d never done before, because Nick had a tendency to put his arardless of who it was But this ti about Kelly felt different now Different, yet still fae What he was afraid of happening had already happened, and they would never be able to go back to what they’d been

There was no retreat Retreat, hell The only option noas to move forward They just needed to pick their path and stick to it

"It’sNick back to the present "You don’t have to hide shit from me, you know? You don’t have to protect me from any part of you I already know it all And you know all of me"

Nick watched Kelly’s profile, unable to tear his eyes away, unable to say anything

Kelly pulled a blunt out of his pocket and held it up "You still s "Only when I know I’ back to work"

Kelly put it between his lips and lit up The tip glowed as he took a long drag, then he rested his head against Nick’s arers, his eyes not leaving Kelly’s face

Kelly released the s "I won’t hurt you And I know you won’t hurt me So fuck it, Irish, let’s try this"

Nick took a hit and pondered Kelly’s words They passed it between theainst the mountain peaks