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Guilt consumed her "Because of me"

"No, not because of you," he said, his tone serious "For you"

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes," he said "I once bla tier was unfounded There are a few people I could reasonably blame, myself included, but you aren’t one of them If I would’ve realized that sooner, it could’ve saved us both a lot of hurt"

She stared at him with surprise, and he continued after a brief pause "The day we found you in Chicago was October twelfth I was so caught up in everything that it wasn’t until the next afternoon that it dawned on me it had been the anniversary of Maura’s death Last year on that day, you didn’t stand a chance No otten you, because it wasn’t about you--it was about her"

A chill shot down her spine at the memory of that afternoon

"I want you to know I’ve never hated you I couldn’t hate you, because I never knew you And I didn’t want to know you because I didn’t want to care about you Nine years in a row, I spent October twelfth wishing I could punish you, but this year, all I could think about was rescuing you, which is what got her killed in the first place" He paused "I’ in circles, and I’rown to care for you And as for what I did to you last year, I don’t expect forgiveness, but I am sorry about it If I could take it back, I would"

He pushed his chair back and walked over to her, pulling up his pant leg to show his ankle bracelet "Do you knohat this is?"

"No"

"It’s a GPSdevice A stipulation of my bail was that I had to wear it" Her eyes widened, and he laughed at her expression "It’s so, isn’t it? You don’t knohat it’s like to have your every move watched until it happens to you So to see where I aet away"

"Sounds familiar"

"I’ you, but that doesn’t ht I called in one last favor with a colleague of mine, the one who saw Carmine after the accident, and Idevice, but that doesn’t gled to find words "Thank you"

"You’re welco my mistakes at this point" He sat in his chair as tears spilled down Haven’s cheeks "Anyway, one uests arrive It could be my last Christmas with my family, so I’d like to make the best of it"

His words o to prison?"

"I’et me one way or another," he said as he opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a familiar leather bound book He set it in front of her "My wife’s journal I think you should keep it"

"Me? Why?"

"She wrote a lot about adjusting to this life and her conflicting feelings about the world I belonged to," he said "Itforward"