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She looked like she wanted to run froain, so he reached out to stop her "I already kneas you I’ve known for a fewto protect you I didn’t see the point in telling you"

"Your mama died because of me, and you didn’t see the point? I destroyed your life, Carirl You didn’t do anything wrong"

Tears streamed down her cheeks "I took your mama froer took her"

"You’re wrong" She wiped her tears away "How can you look at me? How could you love me after that?"

"How can I not? I’d die for you, so how could I bla the same way?"

"It shouldn’t have happened," she said "I’m not worth it"

"Don’t say shit like that You can’t shut down and pull away fro"

"But you said--"

He cut her off before she could repeat the things he had said "I was angry We all do shit e’re upset we don’t mean I’ve lost too much as it is I don’t want to lose you too" She choked back a sob as he pulled her into a hug "Fuck, tesoro I don’t knoe’re gonna get over this, but we need to find a way I’ her in his ar slowed and peered at hi to Nicholas It’s justno matter his reasons, he went out of his way to try to h"

While Carmine questioned Nicholas’s motives, he realized, as he stood there, that everyone had been right He needed to respect her decisions; he had to let her ry, but he doesn’t hate you I think he hed bitterly "He says bad shit about s we don’t mean e’re hurt The two of you used to be close, and now you have me, but who does Nicholas have? I understand why he doesn’t want to accept you’ve changed, because he hasn’t He doesn’t want to believe you’re not the same, because that means he really is alone He lost his only friend"

Heaps of paperwork surrounded Vincent He’d been sitting there for hours trying to get it knocked down, but he couldn’t focus He was exhausted, and everything was falling apart

The office door thrust open as Vincent read the sa into the rooht hell, Caret arrested"

"I have soonna make your life worse"

Car the pen right out of his hand Vincent sighed "What’s this?"

"You don’t recognize my mom’s diary?" he asked "Haven found it in the library"

He slu at the book in a daze "I suspected your ht’ve been with the other books when Celia packed everything up in Chicago forwhat it was"

"Well, that’s where it was, so there you go"

After Carmine walked out, Vincent ran his hand over the worn cover before opening the book, his curiosity fueling hi ed a hand into his chest and gripped his heart, squeezing it

He scanned the passage, seeing the date October 12, 1997 She’d written it the day she died

The closet door in Car I had to break the knob to open the door Another thing to add to the listthe bottoefell down, and the front door is in desperate need of new paint Such ss, one after another, all easily fixed but it doesn’t feel that way It feels like everything is falling apart aroundas I stand here, still I think time has run out--not for her, but for me I’ve hit a wall and it’s too late to turn back Not that I would, even if I could Vincent doesn’t understand right now, but someday he’ll see what I see Soive up on her Maybe when that happens, he’ll hang the tire swing again Maybe the ill be replaced, the step nailed down, and maybe the door will be repainted Blue this ti so much red Maybe then it’ll be our time to have peace And maybe then she’ll finally be free I think when that happens the world will stop cru

Vincent closed the book His world was still cruazed out into the driveway, her eyes fixated on the Mazda, the passenger side windshield buckled from Carmine’s fist Even from where she stood she could see the streak of blood fro out behind Haven, drawing her frohts She turned to see Carmine in the doorway "You looked peaceful," she said "I didn’t want to disturb you"

She glanced at his hand, the bruising on his knuckles dark thisthe attention He flexed his fingers to prove his point, his jaw rigid as he fought back a griue with him

They stared at each other in silence There was so much that needed to be said, but Haven had no idea where to start All of it was overwhel Her eyes filled with tears as she blurted out, "I’ her words and distress

He frowned "Why are you sorry?"

"You’re hurt," she said

"I told you, Haven My hand’s fine"

"Not your hand," she said "You I hurt you, and I didn’tI’d be a hypocrite to blame you I could’ve stopped this before it started, and that’s why I’ her feel worse He was trying to reassure her when he was the one who needed to be comforted He deserved to have the burden lifted from his shoulders, but she selfishly stood in silence, unable to find the words to ease his pain