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Was there nobody else in the world as confused about life?

"How does your D-squad look this year?" Graham asked Trevi

"Is this on the record?"

"No, asshole," Graham said with a chuckle "Just so but scrappy I like these freshlance over at O’Hane and the other frosh, who had gathered near the beer table "They have good foot speed," I remarked "I especially liked that kid Hopper at practice today"

"Wait," came a new voice "Who does Bella like? I need this intel for the season-opening bets" Big-D, a senior defenseman, lumbered up to our circle and put his hands on his hips "There’s a pool going on which freshirlfriend tittered, then slapped a palain, I kept rated on me It was true that I’d had a lot of sex with hockey players (One at a time, usually) But the players weren’t saints, either And nobody was starting a betting pool about any of them

Double standard, -D or his comments Beside me, I sensed a spike in Graham’s blood pressure "You ass," he hissed "Don’t start that shit or I’ll--"

"No you won’t" I planted a hand on Graha-D only talks sain Once was plenty"

Big-D’s o of Graharin "You should know better than to offend the teaet the shittiest hotel rooms on every road trip froet sharpened, and your , Bella" He gave me a self-conscious sh crowd here for a Saturday" Big-D shook his enormous head, as if ere all just a little too touchy Then he turned and auy," Grahaone

"He’s just really insecure," I said It was true, too Big-D wasn’t a pretty boy like Graham, or witty, like Trevi And he didn’t have Orsen’s natural warmth He was harder to love, and he knew it As a result, he lashed out, er ass

Did I mention that I was a psychto talk smack about me because I didn’t hide the fact that I’d had ot called na honest, I had been scoping out the rookies earlier, pondering the fresh offerings Last year I went home with a freshman from this very event Proximity to the hottest athletes at Harkness was an important perk of my job

"What do you think of the football tea the subject Because a good captain knohen to defuse

Grahaan to talk about quarterbacks I wasn’tmy chin toward the sky to look for stars Harkness was located in a rather industrial part of Connecticut, and usually there’s too ht pollution to see the The te at winter’s approach The chill seeped into my core I stepped closer to Grahaesture, but it didn’t really solve the probleer than a friendly hug or the beers I’d drunk

The caterers began to take down the beer table, signifying the end of the season-opening barbecue

My last season-opening barbecue

The year stretched beforedohile Dorothy panics

Behind h hard over soht,me feel more alone

Three

Rafe

After o home

For a couple of hours, I walked airy haze, I passed the rare books library, its peculiar stone walls rising like monoliths over my head I passed the monument to students who had died in every war since the Revolution I kept going, passing the graveyard and the hockey stadium