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"I had lost everyone else, irl I was determined not to lose you, too I decided that you were to remain in Thomas&039;s room and never to leave there until I was sure you were safe I brought a wet nurse in froe and she and Eada looked after you But then one day Luieus, Lord Wynekyn, visited We have been friends since childhood, as you know, and I was too proud not to flaunt you before hi you to us She did, and I quite enjoyed showing you off; then she took you back to your room I was about to explain who you were and your presence at Clay Luieus and I rushed to the roo in horror at her own child She had lain the babe in your cradle to sleep while she brought you to me Her child was now obviously dead, her face blue froen

"Babies often die for no reason &039;Tis as if they forget to breathe Still, I felt a chill run down ht it could have been you These fears were not eased when I learned that aGarrod&039;s description had been spotted descending the stairs and rushing out of the castle shortly before the death was discovered I decided not to explain to Wynekyn and kept my own counsel on the matter I was sure that the wet nurse&039;s child had been smothered by Garrod He one to the king then But, of course, he was still on crusade and while John was running the country in his absence, I had no proof,taken from me - if not to be returned to your father, where I felt your life was in danger, then to court where royal nannies would raise you I convincedI could do was to remain quiet and keep you safe

"You were just a babe, Willa At first, &039;twas easy to keep you a secret I had you moved to the room next to mine and was more determined than ever to keep you above stairs Eada and the wet nurse continued to tend you I visited you daily

"When you grew old enough to eat solid food and to find the bedcha, I allowed you beloever, I instructed the servants that you were never to be mentioned outside the castle

"The years passed and the time came when I should have explained these restrictions to you, but did not I expected you to obey without question It never occurred to ht wish to play out of doors as any norht that enough As tiilance slackened, and so &039;twas that - unbeknownst to me - you and Luvena were able to slip out of the castle to play What happened to Luvena was none of your fault You were children, acting as children do What har outside in the sun?

"Nay &039;Twas not your fault &039;Twas mine

" &039;Twas May of 1199, and you were not quite nine years old King Richard had died in April and John was to be coronated As earl of Hillcrest I was expected to attend the coronation and pledge my fealty to him I did not realize it then, but you had already slipped out of the castle on several jaunts with Luvena The two of you had avoided the village, no doubt for fear of word getting back to me of your excursions However, you had been seen on one or two occasions anyway and the word had spread that there was a child; a young girl in rich clothing, running the woods with cook&039;s daughter The coronation was accoed my fealty, concluded some other business I had to attend to and returned hoan, you and Luvena were

"The whole castle was in an uproar and I only added to it I was furious that so away I sto out my frustrations on the servants I questioned everyone When one of the things I learned was that aGarrod&039;s description had been seen in the area again, my blood ran cold He had been at court with Tristan when I first arrived, but I had not seen hi the two days after the coronation

"Then you were found My relief was boundless until I saw Luvena wearing your gown and lying pale and still in Baldulf&039;s arht she had fallen, but the bruising told the tale &039;Twas not an accident The bruises forerprints on her arive rateful &039;twas not your life that was lost

"I know it confused and hurt you when I sent you aith Eada But &039;twas the best I could do at that time I spread the news that you had died, had you uards, and refused to see youI have ever had to do But I feared leading him to you The absence of your sweet face was ilance that had caused Luvena&039;s death and once more placed your life at such risk

"Now, as you read this, I can no longer keep my promise to Juliana to keep you safe All I can do is place you in the hands of soed theand smart, an excellent warrior You will need him, Willa The e will be reported to the king You shall have to accoe his fealty as the new earl The news of your existence will travel through court like fire Tristan will know you live and your life will again be at risk from your own father, Tristan D&039;Orland

"I can only think that he still believes you to be Thomas&039;s child He would know better if he had ever laid eyes on you He could not fail to recognize hi else is Juliana&039;s, you have Tristan&039;s eyes and hair Thomas was dark-haired, as your mother was But I fear he will not wait to see whoain I pray to God that if he does, he will fail and Hugh will be able to keep you safe

"Your loving Papa, Richard"

Willa let the scroll settle in her lap, and stared at it silently She wasn&039;t ready to face those standing so still around her They all remained silent for a moment, then Lord Wynekyn cleared his throat and breathed, "Well that clears things up"

"Aye," she heard Lucan agree quietly, then gave a start as so her head, she peered at the large hand resting there, then followed it up to her husband&039;s face He was peering at her with silent syht cry otherwise

"So," Jollivet gave a dra all this trouble"

Willa felt her hten at once at his exasperated tone She lifted a crooked sed "If my father is aware of Garrod&039;s actions"

"Oh dear," Jollivet breathed, his expression beco "Willa, you cannot believe the lanced down at the scroll in her lap to find that she isting it between her hands She made herself stop at once and said, "He may not know &039;Tis possible"

She could practically feel the pitying gazes of everyone in the rooht her a fool And perhaps she was Perhaps &039;twas just wishful thinking that she ht have a parent ould care for her Willa stood abruptly and h barked

"I think I should like to lie down," she said, and o to her rooht away First she had to speak to Alsneta

She found the cook in her kitchen, tossing food about and shouting orders Willa watched her from the door for a moment, then stepped into the room and crossed to her

"Alsneta?" she said

The woman turned to her with surprise, then s for a sweet treat?"

"Nay" Willa hesitated, then took a deep breath and said, "I came to ask why you wish me dead"