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XXVI
MY DEAR WORMWOOD,
Yes; courtship is the tirow up ten years later into domestic hatred The enchantment of unsatisfied desire produces results which the humans can be made to mistake for the results of charity Avail yourself of the auity in the word "Love": let them think they have solved by Love problems they have in fact only waived or postponed under the influence of the enchantment While it lasts you have your chance to forand probleain, the adative unselfishness for the Enemy’s positive Charity Thanks to this you can, from the very outset, teach a man to surrender benefits not that othersthereat point gained Another great help, where the parties concerned are ence of view about Unselfishness which we have built up between the sexes A wo trouble for others; atrouble to others As a result, a woone in the Eneer scale than any man except those whom Our Father has do in the Enemy’s camp before he undertakes as much spontaneous work to please others as a quite ordinary woood offices and the hts, each sex, without any obvious unreason, can and does regard the other as radically selfish
On top of these confusions you can now introduce a few more The erotic enchantment produces a ive in to the wishes of the other They also know that the Eneree of charity which, if attained, would result in similar actions You must make theree ofnaturally out of the enchantment, but which, when the enchanth to enable them to perform They will not see the trap, since they are under the double blindness ofthat the exciteal, or nominal Unselfishness has been established as a rule - a rule for the keeping of which their emotional resources have died away and their spiritual resources have not yet grown - theany joint action, it becoue in favour of B’s supposed wishes and against his ohile B does the opposite It is often impossible to find out either party’s real wishes; with luck, they end by doing solow of self-righteousness and harbours a secret claim to preferential treatainst the other for the ease hich the sacrifice has been accepted Later on you can venture on what ame is best played with rown-up children for exaarden, is proposed One h not in so many words) that he would rather not but is, of course, prepared to do so out of "Unselfishness" The others instantly withdraw their proposal, ostensibly through their "Unselfishness", but really because they don’t want to be used as a sort of lay figure on which the first speaker practices petty altruis to be done out of his debauch of Unselfishness either He insists on doing "what the others want" They insist on doing what he wants Passions are roused Soon so "Very well then, I won’t have any tea at all!", and a real quarrel ensues with bitter resentment on both sides You see how it is done? If each side had been frankly contending for its own real wish, they would all have kept within the bounds of reason and courtesy; but just because the contention is reversed and each side is fighting the other side’s battle, all the bitterness which really flows frohteousness and obstinacy and the accues of the last ten years is concealed from them by the no or, at least, held to be excused by it Each side is, indeed, quite alive to the cheap quality of the adversary’s Unselfishness and of the false position into which he is trying to force thees to feel blameless and ill-used itself, with no more dishonesty than comes natural to a human
A sensible hu Unselfishness occasions, it would not be so often recoain, "She’s the sort of woman who lives for others - you can always tell the others by their hunted expression" All this can be begun even in the period of courtship A little real selfishness on your patient’s part is often of less value in the long run, for securing his soul, than the first beginnings of that elaborate and self-consciousness unselfishness whichI have described Soirl does not always notice just how Unselfish he is being, can be ss, and, above all, don’t let the young fools notice the that "love" is not enough, that charity is needed and not yet achieved and that no external law can supply its place I wish Slu woman’s sense of the ridiculous,
Your affectionate uncle
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