Page 1 (1/2)

THREE CORPSES IN THE FOUNTAIN

NOTICE OF ENGAGEMENT, FROM THE TIMES OF LONDON

JULY 15TH, 1959

Asa Vajda, Princess of Moldavia, is to be married to Vlad, Count Dracula, formerly Prince of Wallachia, Voivode of Transylvania and Prince Consort of Great Britain The groom has been married previously to Elisabeta of Transylvania (1448 - 62), Princess Ilona Szilagy of Hungary (1466 - 76), Marguerite Chopin of Courtempierre (1709 - 11), Queen Victoria of Great Britain (1886 - 8) and Sari Gab--r of Hungary and California (1948 - 9) The bride, a distant connection of the groom’s mother, Princess Cneajna Musatina of Moldavia, is of the bloodline of Javutich Since enforced exile from her homeland in 1938, she has resided in Monaco and Finland The ene, Italy, on the 31st of October this year

1

Dracula Cha Cha Cha

Alitalia offered a special class for vampires, at the front of the aeroplane The ere shrouded against the sun with black curtains It added to the cost The warm could pay a supplement and share the space - none did on this flight - but Kate couldn’t be seated in the main cabin at the lower fare The airline assumed the undead were all too wealthy to care, which was not in her case true

The flight departed an overcast Heathrow Airport in mid-afternoon and was scheduled to arrive in Roht and Sunday Morning She didn’t take personally the rind you down,’ and identified more with Arthur Seaton than with the vampires who ran the bicycle factory where he worked Alan Sillitoe was using a ainst her kind That said, England had pockets of real intolerance: she’d been caught in the Notting Hill blood riots last year, and was fed up with the crucifix-waving teddy boys who hounded her in the launderette

She’d visited Venice in the 1920s and served in Sicily and the South during the Allied invasions, but never before been to Rome Genevieve had offered to meet her at Fiumicino Airport, but Kate preferred toclose to Charles These were their last days They deserved tiether alone before Kate arrived to shoulder part of the burden and, incidentally and unavoidably, play gooseberry

What was between Charles and Genevieve had always shut her out, even in 1888 when she was a warirl and Genevieve was his first vampire Kate loved him, of course, which made her silly and sad and would soon make her lost and alone She was always last in line with Charles Beauregard: after Pamela, his wife; Penelope, his fiancee; Victoria, his queen; and, hardest to take because she’d be around forever, the sainted Genevieve Dieudonne

Kate had to remind herself often that she liked Genevieve It probably ht, a snack was offered - a live whiteup at the smartly uniformed hostess, she noticed a sky-blue scarf wound between her collar and her throat Kate sensed the warirl’s bites and wondered if she were required to offer her neck to Alitalia’s important vampire customers More likely she had an undead boyfriend without much in the way of self-control

’May I have yours as well?’ asked another passenger, a thin-faced elder ’I a ed, politely He reached over the aisle into the hostess’s little cage

’Thank you, Signora,’ he said, clai his prize

The vampire opened his mouth like a python Reddouble rows of fang-needles He popped both treats into his u down juices in minute dribbles

The elder wore full soup and fish: ruffled white shirt, black dickie bow, velvet , buckled boots, Patek Lioncourt atch, black opera cape lined with red silk He looked like a middle-European hawk: black patent-leather hair brushed back from a ’s peak; white face, red eyes, scarlet lips

’Or is it Signorina?’ he asked around his mouthful

’Miss,’ she admitted ’Katharine Reed’

The elder discreetly spat fur and bones into a paper napkin, which he folded into a s a for, he introduced himself

’Count Gabor Kernassy, of the bloodline of Vlad Dracula, late of il principe’s Carpathian Guard’

In his Italian exile, they called Dracula ’il principe’, the Prince He was born to the title, which distinguished him from the numberless counts - like this one - who floated around in his wake Sly reference to Machiavelli’s handbook for genial tyrants was also intended

’This is estured at the vampire wolance suggested what species of niece Malenka was to the Count She was dressed for an entrance, in a floor-length scarlet evening gown, cut to display an enormous outcrop of bosom The neckline was more like a nipple-line, with a deep valley that almost reached her navel Diarowth of bright blonde hair was equally enormous, and her razor smile was a credit to either bloodline or Swedish dentistry Her maroon eyes sparkled and dazzled with boredom, contempt and a Malenka on sight She had her down as a nouveau, one of those new-born vampiresses who attach theentlefolk three hundred years their senior

She waved tiny fingers at the woman Malenka arched plucked eyebrows

They were the only three vaht like the old rogue of a Count, as on some level aware of the impression Malenka made Kernassy paused sufficiently in a recitation of his part in several centuries’ of court intrigue to ask her what she did and why she was going to Ro the former

’I’m a journalist For The Manchester Guardian and the New Statesman’

’Journalisti,’ Malenka spat, the first word Kate had heard from her ’Ani-malss!’

Malenka s and eating thehly visible’

Kate didn’t pay es but had an idea she’d seen photographs in the Tatler of Malenka looking gorgeously bored at a coffee bar in Soho, or supporting a mushroom-cloud hat at Ascot It was part of her job to keep up with all manner of publications Also, she liked to knohat people earing these days

’Motion pictures are interested in her,’ continued the Count ’She photographs’

Many vampires didn’t Only a few, like Garbo, were filel-voiced spectre of the Paris Opera, not only would not photograph but could not be recorded for graine,’ Kate snipped

’Your accent? It is not English,’ observed Kernassy ’You are perhaps Canadian?’

’I am perhaps Irish’

’They loave me in Ire-land,’ Malenka declared

’Malenka has perforreat success’

Kate stopped herself froe of Malenka as Molly Bloom

’Many Ire-land men loave reed ’I can see that’

Kernassy shared a secret s seen as a rakish

’uncle’ to this spectacular but brainless creature Kate wondered if he’d found her warm and turned her, or inherited her from another exhausted father-in-darkness

’I do believe you will be much loaved in Rome,’ Kate ventured

’You hear that, Malenka?’ said the Count ’Our Miss Reed predicts formidable success for you’

Malenka thrust out her breasts in a kind of seated bow, nodding sharply at unheard applause

’She is to be in arole’

’I aernails to her snakeless tresses

Kate could just about see the casting

’No, mia cara,’ Kernassy chided ’You are Medea’

’There is difference?’ Malenka looked to Kate for support

’One had adders in her hairdo and froze lance,’ Kate said ’The other helped Jason steal the Golden Fleece but got chucked and bashed their children to death’

’I think they change ending in script,’ Kernassy said ’The original is - hoas it put to me? - "not box office" And ould, as you say, "chuck" Malenka?’

’Who care for box orifice?’ Malenka smiled ’They will just care for ed The pilot announced they were near their destination and asked that all seat-belts be refastened, per favore Malenka had to be helped with the buckle The belt lay loose in her lap Trapped in the corseted gown, her waist was tiny

’You are in Ro?’ the Count asked

Kate was startled She didn’t iehly covered, even by the papers she worked for

’I ,’ she said, nonco from her mind While she and Genevieve tended Charles’s deathbed, the creature they thought of as blighting their lives for the last seventy years would, a another wife There were political and emotional ramifications In the end, if she could control her hatred, sheabout it

’We shall be at wedding,’ Malenka said ’Personal guests of il principe’

Kernassy’s eyebrows ns Like many cloaked Carpathians, he seemed a cut-down imitation of his principe Did Malenka intend to abandon hiuished uncle? If so, she’d have to best the Royal Fiancee Kate gathered that Asa Vajda of Moldavia - la principesa? - was not the sort to be seen off by a gold-digger

’Perhaps you have other affairs?’ the Count reht ’Mamma Roma has many eternal attractions, some dolorous, some joyful’

Dolorous? Curious word

The plane touched down smoothly and taxied to the terminal

Kernassy courteously let Malenka and Kate leave the plane before him Naturally, Malenka went first and posed at the top of the ht she was being greeted by a fusillade It would not have been the first tiht battered her Dazzled, she covered her eyes Flashes danced in her skull

A sruously for a welcome, it was ’Arrivederci Ro lights ’La bella Malenka Signorina swinging, baby bene, bene va-va-voom!’

Kernassy helped Kate back into the cabin She took off her glasses and rubbed her burning eyes Kodak werevampires The flashbulbs that ith it produced nuclear sunbursts

’Everywhere Malenka goes, there are paparazzi,’ explained the Count

Questions were shouted in several languages: ’Are you searching for love in Roma?’ - ’What do you sleep in?’ - ’Has your figure been surgically enhanced?’ - ’What of the wedding?’ - ’Do you favour the blood of Italian uns with her smiles She swivelled her torso to make a distinct silhouette, and bent forward to blow kisses, raising an animal roar of approval Another battery of cameras went off

Kate had attended press calls at London Airport They weren’t much like this: ’Will you attend any cricket matches, Mr Sinatra?’ - ’How do you like our English weather, Miss Desmond?’ - ’Would youfor a few snaps for our readers, Mrs Roosevelt?’

The aisles filled with baggage-laden passengers wanting to get out of the plane The hostess explained they would have to wait La bella celebrity took precedence

Malenka descended the steps as if entering an eraphers lay on the tar on their backs like up-ended beetles Kate let Malenka get out of the way and off to one side, surrounded by her press, before leaving the plane again

The orchestra finished their welcoan to pack their instruments

’We are to be met by a woman from the House of Dracula,’ the Count told her ’She is to arrange transport into the city You will come with us?’

’That’s very kind, Count’

’I insist You have hotel?’

’A pensione, Count In Trastevere Piazza Maria, 24’

’You will be delivered safely, Miss Reed I give you the word of a Kernassy’

The elder probably thought nothing of slaughtering peasant babies to slake his red thirst, but wouldn’t leave an unaccoo along with hiument

Malenka continued her perforraphers and reporters tumbled like acrobats Kate had learned to look away fro wireless reporters Had she skipped a few too oer? Either Malenka was the new Marilyn Monroe or anybody who decorated an orgy scene rated this treatenti have been paid so passports will be processed swiftly at custo Kate past Malenka’s act and toward a thinner crowd ’Stay close, and you will go through under ht hepeople was a tall, sli a hand in a lasses and a Chinese-pattern headscarf, like souise A double rope of pearls wound around her slender neck

’This will be our galoppina,’ Kernassy said ’As you say, our fixer’

The wolasses Her tinypiranha teeth

’Katie Reed,’ she exclairief!’

Kate supposed she knew Penelope was part of il principe’s household and was therefore in Roht as possible, she’d never considered she ht be the first person she ran into in the city

’Penny,’ she said, lamely ’Hello’

’You are old friends, I see,’ Kernassy deduced, not entirely accurately

’Count Kernassy, this is Penelope Churchward We knew each other, a long tiht to such as we,’ he said, gallantly taking Penelope’s hand

The Englishwo than Malenka’s efforts One had to know her well to distinguish its flaws

’How you do turn up, Katie,’ she said ’You’re here to see Charles, of course’

At the tied to Charles Her turning va to do with it too, though not poor four-eyed Katie Reed She wondered if Penny wasn’t in Rome at least partly because of Charles He certainly had a knack of keeping vampire ladies about him Much like il principe

’Have you seen hi to

’Not recently He is an invalid Heto persuade hi similar That Penelope shouldIf it was Penny’s idea, he’d probably be dead set against it Surely he’d see sense as the last clouds gathered and the reaper sharpened his scythe?

Malenka swanned over, all teeth and teats Paparazzi kept up with her Discarded flashbulbs shattered like glass confetti Penelope put her sunglasses back on and was introduced

As the Count had promised, an official escorted theers on the flight were British and fored the at the eccentricity of a race that believed in waiting for turns rather than scra for position

Kate was still too surprised by Penelope’s presence to feel guilty about the slight corruption gaining her preference She knew tangenti - bribes - from the War, when the blackdone Peace hadn’t changed Italy e warm man in chauffeur’s livery - Penelope addressed his Malenka’s e was by Vuitton, Kate noticed She and Penny walked together, wondering what to say to each other

It had been decades

’Thank you for the condolence card, Katie It was a kindly gesture You were always thoughtful’

’I was fond of your mother’

Mrs Churchward had died in 1937

’Mama always liked you,’ Penelope admitted ’You were the sensible one’

’I’et?’ Penelope asked, s sharply

Kate shook her head She had chosen not to pass on the Dark Kiss, to extend her bloodline Only someone special, she had vowed And so

’I hters in darkness It’s a fearful responsibility,bloodline In poor Art’s , was Penelope’s father-in-darkness, the vampire who had turned her Like Kate and Penny, he was one of the new-borns of the ’80s Like many of their peers, he hadn’t outlasted his natural lifespan Kate should be closer to Penelope They were almost sole survivors of their world

’I would found my own house,’ Penelope continued, ’but I have duties Whatever you think of hireat debt, Katie I know you were one of the firebrands who got hiland But, like it or not, he’s our leader’

Neither Kate nor Penny were directly of the Dracula bloodline They were free froeneration

’YouKate shiver ’Things are hectic just noith wedding arrangements and ambassadorial conspirators He would receive you, I’m sure Charles is even invited, and that woive them, he’ll overlook your little revolutionist enthusiasle to oust Dracula from the throne of Great Britain, Kate had spent seven years as an outlaw Hiding from Carpathians anted to iround newssheet Later, in the First World War, she’d been buried under one of il principe’s marvellous toys, the first breed of tank She wasn’t sure she could be as forgiving of him as the monster could afford to be of her She also resented Penny’s i hobby, so years of an eternity not spent furthering her bloodline

She caught herself Penelope orking her strings, as ever Kate was not going to be that goggle-eyed wallflower again, scandalised by her prettier friend but hanging on every barbed word When they were alive and Kate was often her chaperone, Penny was already a reatto people

’Here are the cars,’ Penelope announced

They had hustled through the airport and out onto the road Parked at the verge were a red two-seater Ferrari and a hearse-like black Fiat The Ferrari was a setting for Malenka

More bulbs popped as Malenka was assisted into the tiny sports car She stood tall and blew hed quietly and shook her head, which made Kate think better of her

’I’’

They had been friends, once

’The rest of us shall ride out of the wind,’ Penelope said ’The bus is a lot roomier than the milk-float’

A warm man loitered by the cars

’Katie, this is Toers across his lapel to display ownership ’He is a lost A man was attached to the party in a subservient, unofficial fashion His handshake didn’t give anything away Kate guessed he was a satellite, and noticed red scratches on his neck She saw hi up the cost of her clothes His current job was to drive the Ferrari and duck low to stay out of the pictures

Klove held open the rear door of the Fiat and Kate got in, daintily followed by Penelope They sank together into a deep leather seat Soarette Count Kernassy gathered his cape and slipped in to join them The chauffeur silently shut the door and went up front

The Count e hiarette

’This is Signorina Reed, a discovery of our flight,’ the Count explained ’She is in your profession, Marcello A reporter Froht He was strikingly handsome in a bored, tired sort of way His dark, wavy hair had a trace of unearned grey at the telasses He was a living man, so Kate assumed the shades were an affectation

Marcello extended a hand and took hers

Electricity leaped between them

She -dripping s He was triht be quite delicious Under cologne and the tobacco was a scent of sweet blood His neck was clean of bites

He held her hand a few seconds longer than necessary, then turned to the Count and gabbled with hi her a trifle too deliberately

Her heart beat faster She knew Penelope quietly noticed her new interest That would co ammunition for a rainy day

Still, Kate was in Rome And opposite was a beautiful man

The sun was down by the time they were in the city proper Kate realised the Count would be staying in the centre of Roh which they were driving She tried to persuade the elder to let her out, but he waved the request aside