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I asked him about the day of the murder

"My shift ended around noon that day I went over to Clinton Street and sat in a coffee shop at the counter where I could keep an eye on the place When she left early I followed her I was across the street watching her building when a man went into it I knew him, I'd seen him with her before"

"Was he black?"

"Black? No Why?"

"No reason"

"I don't remember what he looked like He ith her for a half-hour or so Then he left I waited a little while longer, and soht time I went up and knocked on her door"

"And she let you in?"

"I showed her my shield And I reminded her that she knew me from the day-care center, that I was Danny's father She let me in"

"And?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Are you sure of that?"

I guess he thought it over Then he said, "We were in the kitchen She wasme a cup of coffee, she had her back to me, and I put one hand over her et her heart right away, I didn't want her to suffer I kept stabbing her in the heart and she collapsed in my arms and I let her fall to the floor" He raised his liquid brown eyes to ht then," he said "I think she died right away"

"And you went on stabbing her"

"When I thought about it before I did it, I alent crazy and stabbed over and over like a maniac I had that picture in my mind But I couldn't do it that way I had toto throw up, and I had to keep on sticking that icepick into her body and-" He broke off, gasping for breath His face was drawn and his pale coht," I said

"Oh, God"

"Take it easy, Burt"

"God, God"

"You only stabbed one of her eyes"

"It was so hard," he said "Her eyes ide open I knew she was dead, I knew she couldn't see anything, but those eyes were just staring atmyself stab her in the eye I did it once and then I just couldn't do it again I tried but I just couldn't do it again"

"And then?"

"I left No one sawand walked away I put the icepick down a sewer I thought, I did it, I killed her and I got aith it, but I didn't feel as though I got aith anything I felt sick to ht about what I had done and I couldn't believe I'd really done it When the story was on television and in the papers I couldn't believe it I thought that someone else must have done it"

"And you didn't kill your wife"

He shook his head "I knew I could never do soht about all of it, over and over, and I think I was out ofMrs Potowski, those pools of blood in her eyes, those stab wounds all over her body, it did so crazy until Barbara Ettinger was dead Then I was all right again, but she was dead

"All of a sudden certain things were clear I couldn't stay married anymore, and for the first time I realized I didn't have to I could leave ht that would be a horrible thing to do, but here I'd been planning on killing her, and now I'd actually killed somebody and I kneelse I could possibly do to her, like leaving"

I led hiain, went over a few points He finished his beer but didn't get another I wanted a drink, but I didn't want beer and I didn't want to drink with him I didn't hate him I don't know exactly what I felt for him But I didn't want to drink with him

HE broke a silence to say, "Nobody can prove any of this It doesn't matter what I told you There are no witnesses and there's no evidence"

"People could have seen you in the neighborhood"

"And still remember nine years later? And reht, of course I couldn't iine a District Attorney who'd even try for an indict to make a case out of

I said, "Why don't you put a coat on, Burt"

"What for?"

"We'll go down to the Eighteenth Precinct and talk to a cop named Fitzroy You can tell him what you told me"

"That'd be pretty stupid, wouldn't it?"

"Why?"

"All I have to do is keep on the way I've been All I have to do is keepThey couldn't even try to prove anything"

"That's probably true"

"And you want ht"

His expression was childlike "Why?"

To tie off the ends, I thought To ht when he said I just ht solve the case

What I said was, "You'll feel better"

"That's a laugh"

"How do you feel now, Burt?"

"How do I feel?" He considered the question Then, as if surprised by his answer, "I feel okay"

"Better than when I got here?"

"Yeah"