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"I noticed"

"One on each hand, she had"

"So?"

"So he didn't take 'e he took Dakkinen's"

I didn't say anything

Gently he said, "Matt, you don't still think Dakkinen got killed for a reason?"

I felt rage swelling up withinlike an aneurys to will it away

"And don't tellpsycho who makes plans and plays by his own private rules He's not the first case like that to coot very professionally warned off the case"

"So? She got killed by a psycho and there could still be so about her life that some friends of hers don't want to come out in the open Maybe she had a boyfriend and he's a ured, and even if what she died of was scarlet fucking fever he wouldn't want you poking around in the ashes"

I gave ht to reht

"Unless you figure Dakkinen and Blaustein are tied together Long-lost sisters, say Excuse me, brother and sister Or maybe they were brothers, irl, wasn't she?"

"Maybe Cookie was a s in spite of myself "Maybe he killed her to take the heat off," I said "Make it look like a train of rando Dakkinen"

"To take the heat off What heat, for Christ's sake?"

"I don't know"

"There's been no fucking heat There will be now Nothing turns the fucking press on like a series of randos The readers eat it up, they pour it on their corn flakes Anything gives 'einal Jack the Ripper, those editors go crazy for it You talk about heat, there'll be enough heat now to scorch his ass for him"

"I suppose"

"You knohat you are, Scudder? You're stubborn"

"Maybe"

"Your problem is you work private and you only carry one case at a tiet to let go of so onto it as long as you can"

"Is that what it is?"

"I don't know It sounds like it" He took one hand off the wheel, tapped me on the forear like that, somebody chopped up like that, I try to clamp a lid on it and it coood work"

"Did I?"

"No question There were things we ive us a little jump on the psycho, some of the stuff you came up with Who knows?"

Not I All I kneas how tired I was

He fell silent as we drove across town In front of my hotel he braked to a stop and said, "What Garfein said there Maybe Riconein Italian"

"It won't be hard to check"

"Oh, of course not Everything should be that easy to run down No, we'll check, and you knoe'll find? It'll turn out it ot out of ain I felt unclean and my scalp itched I stood under a too-hot shower and scrubbed ot out of the shower, toldto bed, then lathered up and shaved anyway When I was done I put a robe on and sat down on the edge of my bed, then et too hungry, too angry, too lonely or too tired Any of the four can put you off balance and turn you in the direction of a drink It seemed to me that I'd touched all four bases, I'd boxed that particular coh, I didn't feel the urge for a drink

I got the gun from my coat pocket, I started to return it to the dresser drawer, then changed un in un?

I didn't really have to think very hard It had been that night in Washington Heights when I chased two holdup irl in the process In the time I remained on the force after that incident, I never had occasion to draw e it And I certainly hadn't fired a gun since I left the force

And tonight I'd been unable to do it Because so at held drunken kids instead of assassins? Because some subtle intuitive perceptionat?

No I couldn't make myself believe that

I had frozen If instead of a kid with a whiskey bottle I'd seen a thug with a to the trigger My finger'd been paralyzed

I broke the gun, shook the bullets out of the cylinder, closed it up again I pointed the empty weapon at the wastebasket across the rooer a couple of times The click the haly loud and sharp in my little room

I ai It was e to a pistol range, load it and fire at targets, and that wouldn't prove anything either

It bothered rateful it had happened that way, because otherwise I'd have eun into that car of kids, probably killed a few of them, and ould that have done to my peace of mind? Tired as I was, I went a few hard rounds with that particular conundruhtened of the i, andits tail

I took off the robe, got into bed, and couldn't even begin to loosen up I got dressed again in street clothes, used the back end of a nail file as a screwdriver, and took the revolver apart for cleaning I put its parts in one pocket, and in another I stowed the four live cartridges along with the two knives I'd taken froht I walked over to Ninth Avenue and up to Fifty-eighth Street, where I dropped both knives into a sewer grating I crossed the street and walked to another grating and stood near it with es, the other touching the pieces of the disasse to shoot? Why own a gun you can't carry?

I stopped in a deli on the way back to the hotel The custolish 800 Malt Liquor I picked out four candy bars and paid for them, ate one as I walked and the other three in my room Then I took the revolver's parts froain I loaded four of the six chaot into bed, told myself I'd stay there whether I could sleep or not, and s off

Chapter 29

The telephone woke htup for air I sat up, blinking and trying to catch ure out as ht on and answered it

It was Chance "Just saw the paper," he said "What do you figure? That the saot Kim?"

"Give me a minute," I said

"You asleep?"