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That was the first shock The second came a little later when I found out it was Wednesday I couldn't reht

I'd had occasional blackouts for years Soht Sometimes I'd lose a few hours

I'd never lost thole days before

They didn't want to let ht and they wanted to keep me in detox for a full five days

An intern said, "The booze isn't even out of your system yet You'll walk around the corner and pick up a drink five et out of here"

"No I won't"

"You just went through detox here a couple of weeks ago It's on your chart We cleaned you up and how long did you last?"

I didn't say anything

"You kno you got here last night? You had a convulsion, a full-scale grand mal seizure Ever have one of those before?"

"No"

"Well, you'll have the you can pretty much count on it Not every time, but sooner or later And sooner or later you'll die of it If you don't die of sorabbed me by the shoulder "No, I won't stop it," he said "Why the hell should I stop it? I can't be polite and considerate of your feelings and expect to cut through all your bullshit at the same time Look at me Listen to me You're an alcoholic If you drink you'll die"

I didn't say anything

He had it all figured out I would spend ten days in detox Then I'd go to Sht days of alcoholic rehabilitation He let up on that part when he found out I didn't have medical insurance or the couple of thousand dollars rehab would cost, but he was still holding out for a five-day stay in the detox ward

"I don't have to stay," I said "I' to drink"

"Everybody says that"

"In ree to stay You have to let ainst Medical Advice"

"Than that's what I'll do"

He looked angry for a ed "Suit yourself," he said cheerfully "Next time maybe you'll listen to advice"

"There won't be a next tiht," he said "Unless you fall on your face closer to soet here"

The clothes they broughtin the street, the shirt and jacket stained with blood I'd been bleeding froht me in and they'd stitched it up forthe seizure, unless I'd acquired it earlier in h cash on me for the hospital bill Aand the streets were still wet I stood on the sidewalk and felt the confidence drain out of ht across the street I had money in my pocket for a drink and I kneould make et up the nerve to approach the desk and collectshay to the desk clerk The worst of it was not knohat Ishowed in the clerk's expression Maybe I'd spentin isolation Maybe I'd never returned to the hotel since I left it Sunday night

I went upstairs and ruled out the latter hypothesis I'd evidently returned sometime either Monday or Tuesday, because I'd finished the bottle of J W Dant and there was a half-full quart of Jim Beam on the bureau beside the empty Dant bottle The dealer's label indicated it was froht, Well, here's the first test Either you drink or you don't

I poured the bourbon down the sink, rinsed out both bottles and put theot rid of it and looked atSoht and left a nuht and once thishot shower and a careful shave and put on clean clothes I threw out the shirt and socks and underwear I'd worn home from the hospital and put the suit aside Maybe the dry cleaner would be able to do soh theain