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Crazy She had to be crazy hosting a party She didn’t have any furniture, or dishes She didn’t own a serving spoon She was at least three weeks out froerator She didn’t own a goddale patio set, a couple of cheap plastic chairs and a collection of e tools were lirill, a hot plate and a microwave oven

She had supplies, God knew A million festive paper plates, napkins, plastic cups and forks and spoons, and enough food-which she didn’t kno to prepare-stuffed into Ford’s refrigerator to feed most of the county But where were people supposed to eat?

"On the picnic tablesover," Ford told her "Co for rain There is a thirty-percent chance of hail and locusts, and a ten-percent chance of earthquakes Cilla, it’s six in the "

"I’m supposed to marinate the chicken"

"Now?"

"No I don’t know I have to checkdown I said I’d make crab dip I don’t knohy I said that I’ve neverto prove? And there’s the pasta salad" She heard the lunacy in the rant, couldn’t stop "I took that, too Eating pasta salad through the years doesn’t mean you can h the years What’s next? Ah it was teoing to lose your ive a party?"

"Yes Yes, I a back to bed Can’t you see I’ the ht All right" He pushed hiree to o down and face the chicken together"

"Really? You’d do that?"

"I’ll also face the crab dip and the pasta salad with you Such is the depth of " Spock rose, yawned, stretched "And apparently his If we poison people, Cilla, we’ll do it together"

"I feel better I knohen I’ a maniac" She walked to him, leaned down and kissed his sleepy mouth "And I knohen I’h it, right down to the crab dip"

"I don’t even like crab dip Why do people eat stuff like that?" He gave her a tug, pulling her onto the bed And rolled on top of her "People are always s Spinach dip, artichoke dip Have you ever asked yourself why?"

"I can’t say I have"

"Why can’t they be satisfied with some Cheez Whiz on a cracker? It’s simple It’s classic"

"You can’t distractdown" She tugged her shirt back into place "I’, Cilla discovered Not with a partner Especially when the partner was as clueless as she It was alht, with so garlic ht slip past the alht," she told him

"How can the simple tomato come in so rape tomatoes "Is it science? Is it nature? I’ll have to do a study on it What was the dreauess it was about love, at least on one level Andaround about what itroom of the farm The walls were my walls-I mean the space was ht pink couch And I had photographs spread on this glossy white coffee table Photos I’ve randfather took, photos I think I ht have just seen in books Hundreds of thelass She said it had been a year since Johnnie died, and how she hoped this baby was a boy She said it was her last chance Her last love, her last chance

"It’s so odd She knew she was going to die soon Because I knew I asked her hy did she do it? Why did she turn away from that last chance and end it all?"

"What did she say?"

"That if I could do anything for her, it would be to find that answer That I had it all in front ofattention So I woke up frustrated because, as she said, it’s , why don’t I know it?"

Ford took up his assign the beefsteak "Is it too ht’ve been too sad, too deep in the dark, and saw it as the only way to end the pain?"

"No But I can’t quite make myself believe it I never fully could, or never fully wanted to And since I came here, started on the house, I believe it less-and want to believe it less," Cilla ad here Look at all she took and let go of again Men,and disposing of But she kept this place, andafter she died She found so that contented her"

She looked out theand watched Spock on his ," Cilla erator that were out of date I think, in a way, this place was real to her The rest, it’s not For the sood work Fa and fickle and so much of it’s an illusion She didn’t need the illusion here"

"And falling in love here rateful he followed the thread of her thoughts "It follows, doesn’t it? The worst thing in her life happened here when Johnnie was killed An inescapable reality But she kept co it She didn’t close the place up, or sell it He called her Trudy, and that’s who she wanted to believe he loved I think she wanted that last chance, desperately I think she wanted the baby, Ford She’d lost one child How could she, ould she kill herself and end the chance for another?"

"And if she realized it wasn’t Trudy this guy loved, that that was another illusion?"

"Men couess I reht Her one true love was Johnnie Her work, too She passionately loved the work But Johnnie was hers My mother always knew that, always knew she didn’t quite hit the same spot The last love, the last chance? I think it was the child for her I can’t believe, just can’t, that she’d have killed herself over a love affair that went south"

"You said she was drinking in the dreaed, Cilla hefted the pot of pasta, carried it to the sink to drain into the waiting colander "But there weren’t any pills in the drea the stea back to those letters, to the anger in the last few He didn’t want her in this house She was a threat to hinant with his child But she wouldn’t give it up Not this place, not the child, not the chance So he took it froht, proving it would be the next step We’ve already tried to find out rote those letters I don’t kno ht be to take"

"I feel like I feel like we’ve already been down the right one, or close to it And ht there That I didn’t pay attention, and it slipped by"

She turned "This is my reality now, Ford You, you and the farm, this life I found that, I can take that because of her I owe her And I owe herwood More than bringing this place back as tribute I owe her the truth"

"What you’ve found, and what you take may have started with her And if you need the truth, I’ll do whatever I can to help you find that But the farm, what you’ve done here, it’s more than a tribute to Janet Hardy It’s a tribute to you, Cilla What you can do, what you’ll work for, what you’ll give The walls were yours in the drea inside it I talk about it, but I don’t take the step Not a chair, not a table, beyond what I needed for Steve I guess I have to fix that"

He’d been waiting for that Waiting for that step "I’ve got a house full of stuff here It’s a good start for picking and choosing"

She walked to hiuy who’ll slice to because I’uy who not only promises to help me, but does The one who enerations lucky enough to be in love with a , and take it across the road We’ll put it inside the house so it’s not hers, it’s not rinned "Sold"

IT WAS RIDICULOUS, of course, for two people ere preparing for a party to leave the work to break down a bed, to haul fra downstairs, out to the truck, drive it across the road with a dog in tow Then reverse the procedure

But Cilla found it not only syestion that they try it out in its new place was going too far

Tonight, she told hi the pillows an extra fluff Their room, their bed, their house Their life

Yes, she’d put pictures of Janet in the house, as she’d said in the dream But there would be other pictures Pictures of her and Ford, of friends and family She’d ask her father if he had any of his parents, his grandparents she could copy She’d repair and refinish the old rocker she’d found in the attic, and she’d buy cheerful, happy dishes, and put Ford’s wonderful roo room

She’d remember what had been, and build tohat could be Really, hadn’t that always been the purpose? And she’d keep looking for that truth For Janet, for her mother, for herself

At Ford’s she deserted the field, ducking outside to call Dilly in New York

"Mo Don’t you know I need ht"

"I know I read the reviews ’Mature and polished, Bedelia Hardy coratulations"

"Well, I could’ve done without theforward to seeing you triumphant in DC in a couple of weeks"

After a brief pause, Dilly said, "Thank you, Cilla I don’t knohat to say"

And when herriff about the hard work, the three encores, the curtain calls, the acres of flowers in her dressing room, Cilla just smiled and listened Dilly was never at a loss for words for long

"Of course, I’y’s there when I need it ood care ofmarried"

"Who?"

"Ford, Mom You met him when you came here"

"I can hardly be expected to rehbor?"

"He’s tall, and he lives across the road"

"When did all this happen?" Dilly demanded, with the first notes of petulance in her voice "Why are youhim? When you come back to LA-"

"Mo until I’ back to the business"

"You-"

"Just listen This isa life here I’ man who loves me back I’m happy I’m as happy at this hts I want you to do one thing for , just this one time I want you to say, whether you mean it or not, just say, ’I’m happy for you, Cilla’"

"I’m happy for you, Cilla"

"Thanks"

"I am happy for you I just don’t understand why-"

"It’s enough, Mom Just be happy You don’t have to understand I’ll see you in a couple of weeks"

It’s enough, Cilla thought again Maybe one day there would be h

She went back into the house, and to Ford

REINFORCEMENT ARRIVED with platters and boith tables and pounds of ice Penny dispatched Ford to help unload at the farm before she bustled into the kitchen with Patty, where Cilla agonized over the pasta salad

"Someone needs to taste it Ford and I are too emotionally involved with the pasta We have no objectivity"

"It’s so pretty!" Patty exclaimed "Isn’t that a pretty salad, Pen?"

But Penny, whose eagle eyes spotted Cilla’s ring in under three seconds, latched on to Cilla’s hand "When?"

"Last night"

"What? What a? Oh God, oh God! Is that what I think it is? Is that it? Oh, let"It’s just beautiful It’s just so beautiful I’ needed froht as Patty threw her arms around Cilla and dipped the to co to bePatty aside, Penny ood man"

"Only the best"

"I’m pretty sure you almost deserve him" Penny leaned back, all s to rand-babies, Patty?"

"Oh, well"

"We won’t start nagging you about that yet Much," Patty put in "First we get to nag you about the wedding Did you set the date?"

"No, not really We just-"

"It’s too late to take advantage of the fall season The foliage will peak in about six weeks And there’s so , at the faran

"Perfect" Patty counted off on her fingers "May, early May, don’t you think? May’s so pretty, and that gives us a comfortable ti builds around the dress We have to go shopping I can’t wait!" Patty threw her aring area," Cathy said as she cas "What’s all this? Has everyone been slicing onions?"

"No" Patty dashed at tears "Cilla and Ford They’re getting hted one before its contents spilled She turned, bearatulations! What happy news When’s the big day?"

"May, we think," Patty told her "Don’t we think May? Ohto be theat the farardens next May"

"It’s going to be the event of the year Siht in her eyes that told Cilla they ht have different definitions of the word "We’ll say siirl" With a laugh, Cathy put an ar for the hills any ht here It’s nice," Cilla decided "We’ll make it the event of the year In a siave Cilla’s shoulder a squeeze "Now, ladies, if we don’t get this particular show on the road, we’re going to have a lot of hungry people, and the disaster of this year on our hands"

IT WAS soUnder the afternoon sun dozens and dozens of people spread around the grounds They crowded at borrowed picnic tables, perched on the steps, sat at folding card tables on the veranda They ate and drank, adardens No one seemed concerned about the lack of furniture and for in a lawn chair he’d brought hie of pride Her hoht not be finished, but it was more than ready to welcoers on the grill "How’d you earn the KP?"

"I gave Ford a break" He s a father-in-law It’s a good party, Cilla It’s good to have one here again"

"I’ of it as the first annual Labor Day at the far you say that Next year"