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"And lee, when I ended up in your father’s class in high school The thought that my mother had locked lips with Mr McGoas da at the time" His eyes lit with humor "Now, I like the synchronicity that my hter"

Circles, Cilla thought She’d thought of circles when she’d corandmother’s farm Now here was another circle linked to that "They ," she said softly "Johnnie was only eighteen when he died It must’ve been horrible for Janet, for the parents of the other two boys-one dead, one paralyzed She never got over it You can see in every clip, every photo of her taken after that night, she was never the saeyh to drive You’d see Jimmy Hennessy around town from time to time in his wheelchair, and she never missed the opportunity to reh to drink or get high, then get behind the wheel or into a car with so"

He shook his head, polished off his steak "I still can’t go to a bar and guiltlessly enjoy a single beer if I’ve got to drive s up for you"

"Does he still live here? The boy-well, not a boy now-the one who survived the wreck?"

"He died last year Or the year before I’m not sure"

"I didn’t hear about it"

"He lived at hoh"

"Yes His father bla her Hollywood i him the fast car"

"There were two other boys in that car Nobody forced them into it," Ford pointed out "Nobody poured beer forcibly down their throats or pu and stupid, all three of them And they paid a terrible price for it"

"And she paid the to my mother-and her bitterness over it tells me it’s true-Janet paid each of the families of those boys a considerable suain, according to the gospel of Dilly, Janet only kept the farm as a kind of monument to Johnnie, and tied it up in trusts for decades after her own death for the same reason But I don’t believe that"

"What do you believe?"

"I believe Janet kept it because she was happy here Because she could hear her own thoughts here, even when those thoughts were dark and dreadful" She sighed, sat back "Give lass of wine, will you, Ford? That’ll h-end lione over three in years, but if history holds, I go from relaxed, perhaps h to have yet one or maybe two more Then I’d be very drunk, juover and only blurred memories of our encounter"

"In that case, you’re cut off after this" He poured the wine "When we encounter, yourto be crystal"

"I haven’t decided on that yet, you know"

"That’s okay, I have" He propped his chin on his fist, stared at her "I can’t getme in"

"Janet Hardy’s eyes"

"No Cilla McGowan’s eyes"

She s to make up an excuse-or not even bother to ht"

"Is that so?"

"That is so Because you got bossy about’bossy’ as ’sensible’ Why did you coood h "I’ve found "

"You found your thing in toilets"

It was her turn to laugh "I found lected, or just a little tired, andthat’s ood lad I did"

"So am I"

SHE DIDN’T SEE hiyot down to business She gave herself a solid hour, and at so strolled out into the backyard and lifted his leg a nun or sound frolance at his hot tub

No tience, she told herself But as Spock raced over, so obviously thrilled to see her, she spent a good ten runted in what seemed to be so, just the day itself put her in a fine ed back across the road She showered off the workout sweat, downed coffee and a blueberry yogurt By the tian to arrive

It took ti, evaluating, brainstor to expand the bathroom, Buddy," she told hih

"The one I’hed in"

"That’s so anyway"

"I’ve already talked to Matt," she said "Co to do"

He hemmed and he hawed, but that was expected, too In fact, she’d coto use this space toout this wall," she began

He listened, he scratched, he shook his head "Gonna cost you"

"Yes, I know I’ll draw it up in more detail later, but for now, here’s the idea" She opened her notebook to the sketch she’d draith Matt "We’ll keep the old claw-foot tub, have it refurbished and set here Floor pipes and drains Double sinks here, and I’ a slab of granite or whatnot"

"No, zinc"

"Say, what?"

"Zinc countertop And over here, I’ in a steam shower Yes," she said before he could speak "Hollywood ideas Glass block here, to for to reflect and respect the architecture, pay hoe to retro, and, Buddy, it will rock"

"You’re the boss"

She grinned "Daht"

The boss moved outside, to build her rail and pickets in the April sunshine

When her father pulled in, Cilla had her sides run, and had worked up a fresh sweat

"Doesn’t that look nice," he co"

He nodded toward the house, and the cacophony of construction noise "Sounds like e des, so we’ll have more de toers "To approve the rough pluie"

"It’s the talk of the town"

"I iestured toward the road "Traffic’s increased People slon, even stop, to look I had a call from the local paper for an interview I don’t want pictures yet Most people can’t see what it’s going to be while it’s at this stage, so I gave the reporter a quick hit over the phone"

"When’s it going to run?"

"Sunday Lifestyle Janet Hardy still has the switch" Cilla pushed back her cap to swipe the back of her hand over her forehead "You knew her, Dad Would she approve?"

"I think she loved this place I think she’d be pleased you love it, too And that you’re putting youryourself?"

"Yeah"

"I had no idea you could do that I thought you had the ideas, then you hired people to work theuess But I like the work Especially this kind I’o for my contractor’s license"

"You Well, how about that?"

"I’ to start a business This house? Talk of the town, and that’s going to turn into revenue for ht like to hire the woman who rebuilt Janet Hardy’s little farhter And after a while?" Her eyes narrowed and gleaood"

"You really mean to stay"

So he hadn’t believed it Why should he? "I mean to stay I like the way it smells here I like the way I feel here Are you in a hurry?"

"Nope"

"Do you want to walk around a little, play landscape consultant?"

He set estured to an area, described the shrubs and groupings he suggested, Cilla learned , then responding, the pauses bethile he considered His ease with hie of the pond, s to need to get these lily pads and cattails under control"

"It’s on the list Brian said s"

"That would be a nice choice You could plant aover there It’dover the water"

She scribbled "I thought a stone bench , she looked up at him "So, is this where you kissed Ford Sawyer’s mother?"

His ht, a flush rose up into his cheeks He chuckled, and began to walk again "No’d you hear about that?"

"I have my sources"

"I have mine I hear you kissed Penny Sawyer’s son out in the front yard"

"Buddy"

"Not directly, but he’d be the root of it"

"It’s a little weird"

"A little bit," Gavin agreed

"You haven’t answered the question"

"I guess I’ll confess I did kiss Penny Quint-which she was in those days-more than a few times, and some of those tih school Before she brokein return "High school is hell"

"It sure can be The heartbreaking took place here, too, as it happens And back there, near the pond Penny and I had a fight-God knows about what-and we broke up I ad a play for your hteen Then I saw Penny, near the pond, kissing Johnnie" He sighed, even now, reht of her as irl-and one of my friends It broke the code"

"Friends don’t move in on exes," Cilla said "It’s still the code"

"Johnnie and I had words about it Then and there, and Penny gave me a piece of herShe’s always been drawn to drao That was the last time Johnnie and I spoke The last words we spoke to each other were hard ones I’ve always regretted that"

There was no srief "He died two days later And so did another of my friends, and Jio with the squeezed inside her "I’ve never heard that"

"I was supposed to be in that car, but Penny kissed Johnnie, Johnnie and I had hard words And I didn’t go"

"God" A shudder snaked down Cilla’s spine "I owe Ford’s e the next fall, like I planned-then a couple of years in, I dropped out, went off to Hollywood Got myself a contract I think it was, at least in part, because I was another kind of rewhen the look turned serious We both were We got engaged secretly, broke up publicly Back and forth, back and forth for years Then we eloped

"We had you hardly a year later" He draped his arm around Cilla’s shoulders "We did our best I knoasn’t very good, but we did our best"

"It’s hard, knowing so much of what happened, as done, was rooted in death at worst, on mistakes at best"

"You were never a mistake"

She didn’t respond How could she? She’d been called one often enough "You were still in college when Janet died?"

"I’d finishedabout a man, someone out here, she was involved with?"

"There was constant speculation, constant gossip about Janet andout of the ordinary, or any talk of someone from here Why?"

"I found letters, Dad I found letters written to her from a lover They’re postmarked from here, or a lot of them are She hid them The last one, bitter, after he’d broken off the affair, was mailed only ten days before her death"

They’d walked back to the house, stood now at the edge of the back veranda "I think she came back here to see him, to confront him She was desperately unhappy, if even half of the accounts from the time are true And I think she was in love with this man, this married man she’d had a passionate, tumultuous affair with for over a year before it cooled"

"You think he was local? What was his nalanced over, noticed how close they stood to the openTaking her father’s arnant"

"Pregnant? Cilla, there was an autopsy"

"It ht not have been true, but if it was, if it wasn’t a lie to get him back, it could’ve been covered up He threatened her In the last letter, he told her she’d pay if she tried to expose their relationship"

"You don’t want to believe she killed herself," Gavin began

"Suicide or not, she’s still dead I want the truth She deserves that, and so do I People have talked ht"

"She was an addict, sweetheart An addict who couldn’t stop grieving for her child An unhappy woe, but who never really found her happiness away frorief, and srief with pills and alcohol"

"She took a lover And she cairl, and as a result, you lived Se lives And take them I want to find out what moment, what actual event, took hers Even if it was by her own hand"