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"Ah," Mr Blaws said "Excellent"

We said nothing more for the next few minutes, while aited for my ’father’ toin silence with this stranger, but he acted as though he felt perfectly at home When Mr Crepsley finally entered, Mr Blaws stood and shook his hand, not letting go of the briefcase "Mr Horston," the inspector beamed "A pleasure, sir"

"Likewise" Mr Crepsley smiled briefly, then sat as far away frohtly around himself

"So!" Mr Blaws boo trooper?"

"Wrong?" Mr Crepsley blinked "Nothing is wrong"

"Then why isn’t he at school with all the other boys and girls?"

"Darren does not go to school," Mr Crepsley said, as though speaking to an idiot "Why should he?"

Mr Blaas taken aback "Why, to learn, Mr Horston, the same as any other fifteen year old"

"Darren is not" Mr Crepsley stopped "How do you know his age?" he asked cagily

"Frohed

Mr Crepsley glanced at me for an answer, but I was as lost as he was, and could only shrug helplessly "And how did you acquire that?" the vaely "You included it with the rest of the relevant forms when you enrolled him at Mahler’s," he said

"Mahler’s?" Mr Crepsley repeated

"The school you chose to send Darren to"

Mr Crepsley sank back in his chair and brooded on that Then he asked to see the birth certificate, along with the other ’relevant forain and fished out a folder "There you go," he said "Birth certificate, records from his previous school, medical certificates, the enrol present and correct"

Mr Crepsley opened the file, flicked through a few sheets, studied the signatures at the bottoh those papers," he said "Check that the information is correct"

It wasn’t correct, of course - I wasn’t fifteen and hadn’t been to school recently; nor had I visited a doctor since joining the ranks of the undead - but it was fully detailed The files built up a complete picture of a fifteen-year-old boy called Darren Horston, who’dthe suht shifts in a local abattoir and

My breath caught in my throat - the abattoir was the one where we’d first encountered the o! "Look at this!" I gasped, holding the form out to Mr Crepsley, but he waved it away

"Is it accurate?" he asked

"Of course it’s accurate," Mr Blaws answered "You filled in the forms yourself" His eyes narrowed "Didn’t you?"

"Of course he did," I said quickly, before Mr Crepsley could reply "Sorry to act so befuddled It’s been a hard week Um Family problems"

"Ah That’s why you haven’t shown up at Mahler’s?"

"Yes" I forced a shaky s and informed you Sorry Didn’t think"

"No problelad that’s all it was We were afraid so Mr Crepsley a look that said, ’play ball’ "Nothing bad happened"

"Excellent Then you’ll be in on Monday?"

"Monday?"

"Hardly see the end of the week Co and we’ll sort you out with a timetable and show you around Ask for-"

"Excuseto your school on Monday or any other day"

"Oh?" Mr Blaws frowned and gently closed the lid of his briefcase "Has he enrolled at another school?"

"No Darren does not need to go to school I educate hi a qualified teacher"

"I am not a-"

"And of course," Blaent on, "we both know that only a qualified teacher can educate a child at home" He smiled like a shark "Don’t we?"

Mr Crepsley didn’t knohat to say He had no experience of the modern educational system When he was a boy, parents could do what they liked with their children I decided to take matters into my own hands

"Mr Blaws?"

"Yes, Darren?"

"What would happen if I didn’t turn up at Mahler’s?"

He sniffed snootily "If you enrol at a different school and pass on the paperwork to uhed "Everyone has to go to school Once you turn sixteen, your time is your own, but for the next" He opened the briefcase again and checked his files "seven o?"

"We’d send a social worker to see what the problem was"

"And if we asked you to tear up et about me - if we said we’d sent it to you by ers on the top of his bowler hat He wasn’t used to such bizarre questions and didn’t knohat toup official forms, Darren," he chuckled uneasily

"But if we’d sent them by accident and wanted to withdraw them?"

He shook his head firmly "We weren’t aware of your existence before you contacted us, but now that we are, we’re responsible for you We’d have to chase you up if we thought you weren’t getting a proper education"

"Meaning you’d send social workers after us?"

"Social workers first," he agreed, then looked at us with a glint in his eye "Of course, if you gave them a hard time, we’d have to call in the police next, and who knohere it would end"

I took that inforrimly, then faced Mr Crepsley "You knohat this means, don’t you?" He stared back uncertainly "You’ll have to startpacked lunches for me!"