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Ifa book about it, I’d start with, "Once upon a time there were two boys called Darren and Steve" But my life’s a horror story, so if I were to write about it, I’d have to begin with so like this instead:

Evil has a name - Steve Leopard

He was born Steve Leonard, but to his friends (yes - he had friends once!) he was always Steve Leopard He was never happy at home, didn’t have a dad, didn’t like his th and respect, and time in which to enjoy it He wanted to be a vaht, Larten Crepsley, perforical show, the Cirque Du Freak He asked Mr Crepsley to blood him The vampire refused - he said Steve had bad blood Steve hated hirew up

So for his life as a vampire hunter, he learnt about the purple-skinned, red-eyed vaends, vampires are wicked killers who suck humans dry

Steve went in search of the vaht they were as twisted as he was But he got it wrong Although the vampaneze were killers, they weren’t inherently evil They didn’t torture humans and they tried not to interfere with vampires They went about their business quietly and cal a lower-than-low profile

I don’t know this for sure, but I’ the vampaneze rejected Steve, just like Mr Crepsley did The vampaneze live by even stricter, more traditional rules than va a hu to turn out bad

But Steve found a way in, thanks to that eternal agent of chaos - Desmond Tiny Most just call him Mr Tiny, but if you shorten his first naet MrDestinyHe’s the most powerful person in the world, ihest order He gave the vampaneze a present many centuries earlier, a coffin which filled with fire whenever a person lay within it, burning theht soe unharmed That person would be the Lord of the Vampaneze and had to be obeyed by every ain ined Otherwise they’d be destroyed

The pronore He decided to take the test He probably figured he had nothing to lose He entered the coffin, the flaulfed him, and achanged He had an arive their lives for hier had to settle for killing Mr Crepsley - he could wipe out the entire vampire clan!

But Mr Tiny didn’t want the vampaneze to crush the va and conflict A quick, assured victory wouldn’t provide hiet-out clause Three of them had the ability to kill the Vampaneze Lord before he came fully into his powers They’d have four chances If they were successful and killed him, the vampires would win the War of the Scars (that’s what the battle between the vampires and va the hunt, while the third would survive to witness the downfall of the clan

Mr Crepsley was one of the hunters A Vampire Prince, Vancha March, was another The last was also a Prince, the youngest ever, a half-vampire called Darren Shan - and that’s whereI come in

I was Steve’s best friend ere kids We went to the Cirque Du Freak together, and through Steve I learnt of the existence of vampires and was sucked into their world I was blooded by Mr Crepsley and served as his assistant Under his guidance I studied the ways of vampires and travelled to Vampire Mountain There I undertookdeath, I fled, but during my escape I uncovered a plot to destroy the clan Later I exposed it, and as a reward I was not only accepted into the fold, but made a Vampire Prince

After six years in Vampire Mountain, Mr Tinysetwith Mr Crepsley and Vancha One of Mr Tiny’s Little People travelled with us His narey-skinned, stitched-together, short, with large green eyes, no nose, and ears sewn beneath the flesh of their heads They’re created from the remains of dead people Harkat didn’t knoho he used to be, but we later found out he was Kurda Smahlt in his previous life - the va the War of the Scars

Not knoho the Vampaneze Lord e missed our first chance to kill him when Vancha let him escape, because he was under the protection of Vancha’s vampaneze brother, Gannen Harst Later, in the city of Mr Crepsley’s youth, I ran into Steve again He told me he was a vampaneze hunter and, fool that I was, I believed hih Mr Crepsley was suspicious He sensed sorant Steve the benefit of the doubt I’ve made some terrible mistakes in my life, but that was certainly the worst

When Steve revealed his true colours, we fought, and te had the power to kill him The first time we let him live because anted to trade his life for Debbie Heirlfriend The second tiht Steve, Gannen Harst and an i to be the Lord of the Vampaneze Mr Crepsley killed the impostor, but then was knocked into a pit of stakes by Steve He could have taken Steve doith him, but let him live so that Gannen and the other vampaneze would spare the lives of his friends It was only afterwards that Steve revealed the truth about himself, and made the bitter loss of Mr Crepsley all the ap between that and our next encounter I ith Harkat to find out the truth about his past, to a waste world full of monsters and mutants, which we later discovered was Earth in the future Uponwith the Cirque Du Freak, waiting for destiny (or Des Tiny) to pit Steve and ain for one final clash

Our paths finally crossed in our old home town I’d returned with the Cirque Du Freak It was strange revisiting the past, walking the streets of the tohere I’d grown up I saw rooman with a child of her own, and I ran into an old friend, Tommy Jones, who’d become a professional footballer I went to watch Toame His team won, but their celebrations were cut short when two of Steve’s hench Toht into a trap I faced Steve again He had a child called Darius with him - his son Darius shot me Steve could have finished me off, but didn’t It wasn’t the destined time My end (or his) would only coh the streets, I was rescued by a pair of tramps They’d been recruited by Debbie and an ex-police inspector, Alice Burgess, ere building a human army to help the va With the ladies and Harkat, we returned to the Cirque Du Freak We discussed the future with Mr Tall, the owner of the circus He told us that no matter on the war, an evil dictator known as the Lord of the Shadoould rise to rule and destroy the world

As ere trying to co neo of Steve’s crazed followers struck -

RV and Morgan James, the pair who’d killed Tohtered Mr Tall and took a hostage - a young boy called Shancus Half human, half snake, he was the son of one of , Mr Tiny and a witch called Evanna mysteriously appeared out of nowhere It turned out that Mr Tiny was Mr Tall’s father, and Evanna his sister Mr Tiny stayed to mourn the death of his son, while Evanna followed us as we chased after her brother’s killers We an James and capture Darius As the others hurried after RV and Shancus, I stole a feords with Evanna The witch had the ability to see into the future and she revealed that if I killed Steve, I would take his place as the dreaded Lord of the Shadows I’d becoot in my way, and destroy not just the vampaneze, but humanity as well

As shocked as I was, there was no time to brood With my allies, we tracked RV to the old cinema where Steve and I had first e, separated fro and filled with stakes He reed to trade Shancus’s life for Darius’s But he lied Instead of releasing the snake-boy, he killed hie, I prepared to e But just before I stabbed the boy, Steve stopped me with his cruellest revelation yet - Darius’s mother was my sister, Annie If Ilike the de ht