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SISTER ROSAMOND AVOIDED the child during the next feeeks; she couldn&039;t bear to be near hi face atop his body

So her basic history pupils or at chapel with the other nuns, she would begin tre dinner and she dropped her tray, shattering the plates on the floor More and lances of her colleagues

She had telephoned her parents for any news theyfrom him in years That left only one other person she could call, his brother who lived in Detroit But dialing the Detroit inforht herself and slammed the receiver down She was uncertain as to whether or not she really wanted to know; perhaps finding out it was true would be tooto know yet fearing the knowledge - and at night she tossed and turned in her bed until the sheets et

Perhaps this rong after all, she told herself in the silent darkness so many times Yes, she&039;d turned her back on his of herfro She had wished to avoid the harsh trappings of reality; she&039;d wanted to find security so breath

And now she realized how shetender hands touching her on a wide ru up in his arms while he tucked his face down and whispered into her ear about how beautiful he thought her body was She missed the act almost as much as she missed him This is so very unfair, she told herself, to deny s I need And here, surrounded by austere black and holy contemplation, she felt suddenly out of place and lost; she was suddenly surrounded by freaks who also denied themselves and who, if she were to dare to tell thes, would scold her severely and probably also send her to see Father Robson

I aht I a old here before it&039;s time, and for the rest of s Oh God oh God it isn&039;t fair

Each day that drifted by reain; she tried to immerse herself totally in her work and she spent her free hours alone, reading, but she couldn&039;t quell the rising insecurities She expected everythe plains beneath her eyes She expected to find herself rese existed beyond the orphanage grounds Soon she ate herto participate in the little birthday parties and ment of a God ould trap her here like a sleek ani she dismissed her history pupils and, after the children had filed froo to their next period class, Father Robson cah the door and quietly shut it behind hiht, it&039;s finally co stacks of test papers

He said, "Good , Sister Rosa"

"Yes, I see" He looked around at the bulletin board with its exhibit on Thos done by the children In one of the portraits of that esteereen and his teeth blackened On the blackboard were Sister Rosamond&039;s handwritten questions on the Anized the stress in the squeezed, disarrayed lettering, in the sentences that climbed from the middle of the board up toward the top He made a mental note "You knoas quite a history scholar myself Made all the history clubs in prep school, even won a few scholastic awards I was always interested in ancient history, the beginnings of civilization and all that Fascinating subject"

"I&039;m afraid the children aren&039;t quite prepared for that"

"Well," he said, "probably not"

"I&039;m very busy," Sister Rosamond said "My next class will be in a few minutes"

He nodded "Can I talk with you for just a moment?"

She didn&039;t reply

He stood over her until she had glanced up Catching her eyes, he said, "Sister Rosa be botheringyou," he said softly "I only asked And you know it&039;s not fair to answer a question with a question"

"Things are not always fair," she said, and iht the sarcasm and now he knew that the sisters&039; concern for her behavior during the past weeks had some sort of basis "No," he said "I don&039;t suppose so Would you like to talk about it?"

"You&039;re confusing me with the children Did someone ask you to talk with e in your behavior Everyone has, even the children And I simply wanted to know if I could be of help"

"No," she said flatly, "you can&039;t"

"All right then," he said "I&039; and then I&039;ll go You remember I spoke with you about the Raines child?"

She looked up from her papers and Father Robson saw the blood drain froht chilled hiotten that you&039;d asked me to look in on hih work to do and, besides, the child should really be an to file the papers away

Pursue this, Father Robson told hied about him? Do you still think he can be touched?"

She closed the drawer "He&039;s a very difficult child"

He grunted in agreement The stress in her face was so defined it could have been etched by a sculptor; her fingers continually clenched and unclenched He realized with a sudden start that she had becoely, like the child, distant and re to do with your probleretted the bluntness of the question