Page 18 (1/2)

The next evening, at sunset, I arrive at the gruff in the desert where the child was conceived The tall Joshua trees stand around uards that would offer me help if they could But there is no one to helpcannot aid ht the dagger James stuck into me

It is er than stone

James will not simply murder the child The divine blood is as important to a demon as it is to a saint Only the two do notthe child to this spot

He did not locate the Suzas, so close to this place, by coincidence Plus my old friend has said as much

Then the place of sanctity will be defiled by red stars, and only the innocent will see the blue light of heaven

Am I the innocent? At the hts blinded et so close to the child when she clearly knehat he was and where he was Of course it could be argued that I stopped her fro, yet in the lastand sit and play with the child to let as to be be James clearly used me to defeat Kalika; he could not have done it alone Yet Kalika let herself be defeated Was it because she wished to fulfill the ancient prophecy?

There the dark forces will once again converge on hiel of ain

No one mistook Kalika more than her own mother

But what am I to do now?

The rest is a mystery

For once, I wish Suzama had hinted a little more

What am I to have faith in? I do not ether in the same sentence, since it was Ory&039;s control of the earth eleht, I have faith in the child He see sot to hold him for a short time But what am I supposed to do with this faith? It seems I should be able to use it somehow

The sun slowly sets The stars come out

The moon has yet to rise

I stare at the stars and pray for the quite extraordinary

The last ti a blue scarf that had gold threads woven in it deputing the constellations in the sky, both the northern and the southern sky Last night Paula earing a blue scarf as well, also woven with a pattern in gold thread In fact, the more I think about it, the more convinced I aiven a chance to wonder how that could be possible

Because soe starts to happen

The ly beautiful star patterns in Suzarow And what is even stranger is that this experience has already been described to me by Paula

"The sky was filled with a ht! I could have been in outer space It was almost as if I had been transported to another world, inside a huge star cluster, and was looking up at its nighttiy on the top ofdown into ht blue one straight overhead, seems to soar in brilliance as I look up and concentrate on it It grows in size It could be a blue saucer racing toward the earth A high-pitched sound starts to vibrate through the area Paula&039;s words are still in my mind

"The rays of the star pierced my eyelids The sound piercedBut I don&039;t think I was in actual physical pain It wastoo This is how it felt when the moon would pour into the top of host that could float off on the desert wind But this vibration is thousands of ti the nerve fibers in netic circuits on a cosrid, a stellar system of coin?ning of tiined it existed I only have to want to plug into it to be able to use it At the same time, I don&039;t know if I am in physical distress Blissful terror is a better expres?sion for it; the entire experience is destroying everything that I thought is me, and yet there is relief in the destruction as well But just when I think I will either explode or turn into a galactic android, it stops

Unlike Paula I do not black out

I a blue body

It is very nice This body, this state of being, carries none of the burdens of the physical realm I am quite content just to float around with the stars I can still see the desert far below, the rolling hills of sand, the edges of the shadows of the tall Joshuas shialaxy&039;s stars I realize then how crucial a role the stars play in our lives, their constant subtle influ?ence bubbles on the edges of energy fields we are unae possess Yet I do not think about it too

After sohly dense bundle of red energy descending froht of it fills et out of its way It is the opposite of what I am; it is neither love nor bliss I desire to avoid it at all costs and I know that I one

It is only then that I fully remember who I am

The transformation had caused me momentary amnesia

I remember why I have come to the desert The child

Far belowthe baby He is encapsulated in the salows in his aroes up and down, back and forth between they bundle co the vague shape of a flying saucer It seems as if from an unseen realm I am presented with a choice I can try to enter this ship, inplanned by the Setians, or I can simply float away and be happy Yet if I choose the forer I can become trapped, I sense My very soul can be chained in a place of deo into a demon

The choice, the universe seereat sacrifice

This thought makes the choice for me

I float into the ship