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"Paula," I say "I described to you what happened to ht in the desert, when I confronted Ory It seemed as if for a time I was not physical, that the very ht Is that related to this harvest you describe?"

"Yes"

"But when I changed, it seemed that I entered a spaceship from another world But it wasn&039;t a space?ship I don&039;t think anyone could see it but s like demons, and I entered the oes by, I begin to doubt that any of this happened, that I didn&039;t just dream it all Does that make sense?"

Paula nods "That is why I can&039;t describe what is to come next It would just be a dreas froative harvest?"

She toucheswith your head You ask me to describe what you callis possible Even your brilliant mind cannot reach beyond concepts Even your vampire eyes cannot see beyond this world I don&039;t knoho they were, these friends of Ory I don&039;t knoho this Heidi was I only know that she did not lie to you when she said she o" Paula pauses and she raises her eyes to the water, to Lake Tahoe beyond the sheltered bay "And that it was long ago things rong"

"Went wrong? For whom?"

"For all of us"

"I don&039;t understand," I cos to you?"

"Sometimes"

"No She would take a lesson only so far because she was not omniscient She saw a portion of the mind of God, but no mortal can see all of it Suzama was not infallible"

"Is John?"

The boy sleeps soundly Paula speaks with love "John&039;s a baby"

"But as he in the past?"

Paula pauses "I don&039;t know"

"Suzama said this child would be the same as the others: Jesus; Shankara, Krishna She wrote that--I saw her words withme?"

"To know if it&039;s true"

"Ah That is the question, isn&039;t it? What is true? But didn&039;t Suzaer than stone?"

"But I ask you these things so I will knohat to have faith in"

"Have faith in yourself, Sita These strangers have come for you for a purpose It does not sound as if they have the welfare of mankind at heart You must seek them out, learn what they want and how they hope to accomplish it"

"You have seen this in a vision?"

Paula turns her head away "I have seen too s"

I have to wonder if she has seen my death

"You can tell me," I say carefully

"No"

"I am not afraid to hear what is to be"

Paula lowers her head A tear runs over her cheek

"I am afraid," she whispers

"Suza ather head

"I didn&039;t call you as I promised I would after I fled from Kalika," she says "Do you knohy?"

"I meant to ask you I assume you had a vision that it would be better to keep your distance At least for a tian to understand your destiny--destiny itself It can only be lived, it cannot be explained It is like a mystery, which ceases to exist the ic trick When you are told hoorks, it loses all its char is that you&039;ll tell me no more of what you&039;ve seen?"

"I have seen no lad"

"You look more sad than happy"

Paula s away soon"

I thought the saeles to trace Heidi&039;s background "But I will keep in touch," I say "I will see you soon"

Paula doesn&039;t say anythingKalika&039;s ashes

"Why did you bring that here?" she asks

"To put the ashes in the water"

She nods "It is time to move on"

Sorroashes over me "I still think of her all the time"

"She lived the life she was born to live" She pauses "I never told you what she said to rabbed hold of John She said, &039;Hello, Paula I have no friends but I a will coether in a wave of blood But don&039;t worry, he is stronger than this night&039;"

Now I am close to tears "Her life was so short"

Paula co She was a star that burned too bright The strength of her soul would have estures to the vase and stands, John still asleep in her aroodbyes I ait for you at the house"

I ask weakly "To say goodbye?"

"Yes"

My voice cracks with emotion I need her to under?stand why "I loved Suzama I loved her with all my heart When she died, I aler then You are stronger now"

I look up at her "Will I see you again? After today?"

Suza time It is Suzareat?est clairvoyant Her eyes are dry now; she has no tears, as she slowly shakes her head

"I don&039;t think so, Sita," she says

She turns and walks away

I ahter&039;s ashes, and soon these are gone, too, on the gentle ripples of the bay I poured theia and love True, she was an avatar, a creature of the divine, yet even Kalika&039;s ashes dissolve in water Mythen,also is my vision of the future It is true what Suzama says I will leave this place, leave my few friends, and confront an enemy I knoill kill me Kill me because I crave love instead of power But this I have lived five thousand years to learn Power is as cold as forgotten ashes Only hter, the stories of Ray, Arturo, Yaksha, and race of Krishna

My blessed Lord--how hehis from the holy Vedas that he himself wrote when he walked under the trees of ancient India It is the divine child I will row old, to hear him speak wisdom I fear I will be ash before he even utters his first words And I have to wonder ill reone I worry that even Suzaet me Me--Alisa, Sita, or a thousand other naers who became friends or lovers I fear it will be as if I never was Never a va life now comes to a close

Death does not scare hter&039;s ashes I see o out My end will eraseI don&039;t kno but I know it is true And I must choose that end because it is my destiny