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WHEN SHE SPOKE at last, I couldn’t tell whether she was addressing me or herself

"My pine trees died too," she said "People kept telling me they would but I didn’t believe it I believe it now" She shook her head slowly "I try to water the pipes in the neighborhood or so"

I don’t knohy it struck me with such vivid force at that moment Perhaps the mundane quality of what she said But I reme to convince her that she’s not alive; she thinks she is

That was the true horror of this situation If she knew that she’d committed suicide and that this was the end result, soht beto this plight for her, no logic whatever to this dismal state in which she found herself

I really didn’t knohat to say, yet, once"I have water in h surprised by my continued presence "How can that be?" she asked She looked confused and irritated "What about electricity?"

"I have that too," I said, realizing, then, why I’d spoken as I had I was hoping that she’d discover, by coically, unrealistic and, thus, be led to exaas service?" I asked, pursuing the idea

"That’s off too," she said

"Mine isn’t," I replied "What about your telephone?"

"It’sout of order," she said I felt a limmer of expectancy at her tone-- one which asked of itself: How can this be?

"I don’t understand," I said, trying to press e "It doesn’t make sense that all your services would be out at the same time"

"Yes, it’sodd" She stared at me

"Very odd," I said "That only your house would have none of theree of awareness reaching her? I waited anxiously to see

I should have known

If convincing her was all that simple, in all likelihood someone would have done it already I knew that as a look of apathy replaced the one of doubt--replaced it instantly She shrugged "Because I’m on a hilltop," she said

"But why--?"

She broke in "Would you call the phone company for me and tell them my service is out?"

I stared at her, confounded by e to tell her everything directly--who I was and why she was there So the peril of atte to convince her that way

Another idea occurred

"Why don’t you come to my house and call them yourself?" I asked

"I can’t," she said

"Why?"

"I don’t leave," she said "I just--"

"Why not?" My voice was edged with impatience noas so disturbed by my failure to help her in the least

"I just don’t leave," she repeated She averted her face but, before she did, I saw the beginning of tears in her eyes

I didn’t think but reached out autorowled and I drew back ht occurred? Could I bleed, suffer pain?

"The pool looks so awful," Ann said

That sense of cold despair again How terrible her existence was, spending endless days in this place, unable to do anything to ease its drab appearance

"I used to love it out here," she said, unhappily "It was my favorite place Now look at it"

My question was answered I could suffer pain at that level I felt it deeply as I looked at her, recalling how she used to co with her coffee, sit in the sunshine in her nightgown and robe and gaze across the crystal water of the rock- edged pool, looking at the lush planting we’d put in She had loved it; very rew sardonic "So works at ain

"How nice for you," she responded coldly; and I knew, in that instant, that no approach could work twice I was back to square one in ain

Silence once ly expanse of the pool, Ginger beside her, eyes fixed on eh the more time passed, the less aware of possibilities I becaer Albert had warned s draw me in and make me part of them?

"You have children?" I asked on impulse

She turned to look ataway again

I was going to ask about them when I decided to atte "coincidences" The area of children hadn’t been approached yet

"I have four children too," I said "Two daughters and two sons"