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I WAS EXHAUSTED but I couldn’t rest,I tried to rise, to comfort her Instead, I hovered in a liht Don’t cry, I heard myself murmur I’ll wake up soon and be with you Just let ht, sweetheart I’ll take care of you

Finally, I was forced to openin aI was tired, Robert, groggy But I couldn’t let her cry I had to find out rong and end it so she wouldn’t cry like that I couldn’t bear to hear her cry like that

I moved into a church I’d never seen before All the peere filled with people Their forray, I couldn’t see their features I walked down theto understand why I was there What church was this? And as the sound of Ann’s crying co in the front pew, dressed in black, Richard on her right, Marie and Ian to her left Next to Richard, I could see Louise and her husband All of them were dressed in black They were easier to see than the other people in the church yet even they looked faded, ghostlike I could still hear the sobbing even though Ann was silent It’s in her mind, it came to me; and our minds are so close I hear it I hurried toward her to stop it

I stopped in front of her "I’h I hadn’t spoken; as though I weren’t there at all None of them looked towardnot to see? I glanced down atit a long tih I wasn’t sure

I looked back up "All right," I said I had difficulty speaking; ht," I repeated slowly "I’m not dressed correctly And I’m late That doesn’t ht ahead I ht have been invisible "Ann, please," I said

She didn’t move or blink I reached out to touch her shoulder

She twitched sharply, looking up, her face gone blank

"What’s wrong?" I asked

The crying in her mind abruptly surfaced and she jerked her left hand up to cover her eyes, trying to repress a sob I felt a nuht "Ann, what’s wrong?" I pleaded

She didn’t answer and I looked at Richard His face was tight, tears running down his cheeks "’Richard, what is going on?" I asked My words sounded slurred as though I were drunk

He didn’t answer and I looked at Ian "Will you please tellat hiers at his cheeks, trying to brush away the tears that fell froht

Then I knew Of course The drea operated on--no, I was asleep on --whatever! flaredand now it included my own funeral I had to turn away fro so I hate this stupid drea to end?!

It was torment to me to be turned ahen, just behindI felt a desperate need to turn and coh? In ood would it do for me to speak if they believedelse; it was the only answer The dreae, they always did I walked toward the altar, following the drone of a voice The ht be fun, I told myself Even in a dream, how y?

I saw his blurred, gray outline now, behind the pulpit His voice sounded hollow and distant I hope he’s giving ht, bitterly

"He is," said a voice

I looked around That ain; the one I’d seen in the hospital Odd that, of everyone, he looked most clear to me

"Haven’t found your own dream yet, I see," I told him Odd, too, that I could speak to him without effort

"Chris, try to understand," he said "This isn’t a dreaet off that?" I began to turn away

His fingers onmy flesh That was odd too "Chris, can’t you see?" he asked "Your wife and children dressed in black? A church? Adreao of ly "I don’t have to listen to this"

His grip was strong; I couldn’t break it "Come with me," he said He ledon supports "Your body is in there," he told me

"Really?" I said My tone was cold The casket lid was shut How could he knoas in there?

"You can see inside it if you try," he answered

Unexpectedly, I felt in to shake I could look in the casket if I tried Suddenly, I knew that

"But I won’t," I told hirip and turned away "This is a drea across my shoulder "Maybe you can’t understand that but--"

"If it’s a dream," he interrupted, "why don’t you try to wake up?"

I whirled to face hiht, that’s exactly what I’ll do," I said "Thank you for a very good suggestion"

I closed ht, you heard the man, I told myself Wake up He’s told you what to do Now do it

I heard Ann’s sobbing getting louder "Don’t," I said I couldn’t bear the sound of it I tried to back off but it followedto wake up froht now, I told , tre Ann would speak my name in startled sympathy, then hold etting louder, louder I pressed both hands against my ears to shut it out "Wake up," I said I repeated it with fierce determination "Wake up!"

My effort was rewarded by a sudden silence I had done it! With a rush of joy, I openedin the front hall of our house I didn’t understand that

Then I saw the an torooroups,words I couldn’t hear

I walked into the living rooh forto that

I walked by Louise and Bob They didn’t look at ht Accept the drea toward the fa drinks I felt a twinge of resentht iedparty in a bleak, depressing drealimpses Ann’s older brother Bill, his wife Patricia Her father and steper brother Phil, his wife Andrea I tried to smile Well, I told ht, no detail overlooked; Ann’s entire family down froh? I wondered Surely I could dream them here as well Did it matter, in a dream, that they were three thousand ht came to me Was it possible that I had lost ed e; weird, distorted i co these wraiths, scalpelsto restore its function

It didn’t help Despite the logic of it, I began to feel a sense of resent me I stopped in front of someone; faceless, nameless "Damn it, even in a drearab hih it ater I looked around and saw the fa there, I tried to pick up soainst the wall It was like trying to grip at air Anger mounted suddenly I shouted at thehter was involuntary, strained Listen to yourself, I thought You’re acting as though this is really happening Get things straight, Nielsen This is a drea down the back hall Ann’s Uncle John was standing in front of ht through hiet it, I ordered myself It doesn’t h it "This is insane," I h doors before

My aggravation vanished as Ion her left side, staring toward the glass door She still had on the black dress I had seen her wearing in the church but her shoes were off Her eyes were red fro her hand Tears ran slowly down his cheeks I felt a rush of love for hientle boy, Robert I reached forward to stroke his hair

He looked around and, for aatme "Ian,’’ I murmured

He looked back at Ann "Moain and her eyes moved slowly to his face

"I know it sounds insane," he said, "but I feel as if Dad is with us"

I looked at Ann quickly She was staring at Ian, her expression unchanged

"I ht here," he told her "Now"

Her s tenderness "I know you want to help," she said

"I really feel it, Mo her "Oh, God," she whispered, "Chris " Tears filled her eyes

I dropped beside the bed and tried to touch her face "Ann, don’t--" I started Breaking off, I twisted froers sink into her flesh"Ian, I’m afraid," Ann said

I turned back quickly to her The last tiht when Ian had been six and disappeared for three hours; a look of helpless, incapacitated dread "Ann, I’m here," I said, "I’ht me unaware I didn’t h The ad to repress it by concentrating on Ann and Ian But the question came unbidden and I couldn’t stop it What if that man had told the truth? What if this wasn’t a drealed to retreat Ie So what if I had thought it? What if I’d considered it? There was no proof of it beyond that brief consideration

Better I felt vengeful justification I began to touch and prod ed scornfully Flesh and bone? Ridiculous! It ht not be a dream--that much I could allow But it was certainly not death

The conflict seemed to drain ain? I thought

Never mind I thrust it from my mind I lay down onto lie beside her, face to face, her staring through ht I did Escape through sleep, I told myself The evidence isn’t in by any means This could still be a drea about it Please, I begged whatever powers htmare