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WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK Tuesday afternoon I put the bag on the kitchen table
"What’s that?" Anne asked after we’d kissed
"The sugar," I said
She looked at me a moar?"
"You didn’t askthe answer Anne shook her head "Well," she said, " will come in handy after all" It was a poor attear in the cupboard and took off my suit coat
"Hot," I said
"Yes"
Anne started to set the table and I stood by the kitchen atching Richard and Candy run in erratic circles as they chased a butterfly
"To to do?"
"You mean about-?" I couldn’t find the word for it
She nodded
I sighed "What is there to do?" I asked "It’s not soe woman" I hadn’t told her yet that I didn’t believe it was a dream "I-think I can sense what’s in Elsie’s mind I feel the sahts about us needing sugar" I shrugged "What do I have there to ith? How do I start?"
"You could go see Alan Porter," she said
"There’s nothing wrong with ain
"Well, what do you call it?" she asked "It’s happening in your mind, isn’t it?"
"Yes, but it isn’t a-a breakdown If anything-" I paused ait’s an increase, not a decrease"
"Does that htened, Toht when you have that drea you like What matters is that all it’s done is disturb you And I think you should do soht," I said, uncertainly, "I’ll do so forced into an undesirable corner, though Certainly I was afraid of as happening to ued by it too All day at work I’d kept picking up fraght and emotion fro irritation, boredom, weariness, daydreaue disjointed visions and parts of phrases I didn’t knohich person was thinking what, but that only enhanced the fascination
One of the hie that he-or she-had been on or wanted to be on I swear I could almost smell the sea air and feel the roll of a ship underof soed with the same overtones of what I’d sensed in Elsie’sI turned froan
"Nohat?"
"I wonder if I’ve beco a medium"
"A medium?" Anne put down a bottle of milk hard
"Yes," I said, "why not?" The expression on her face made me smile "Honey, a ed woman in a button sweater, you know," I told her
"I know but-"
"Well, think about it," I said "The word itself-medium-is a perfect description It means a-middle place That’s what oal, letting thoughts and ih them They-"
"If you’re a "
"What?"
She looked at ot any control over what’s flowing through you? "
This continued to be the topic of our conversation at supper-interspaced with enjoining and commands to Richard to eat his food
"No, I don’t understand," Anne said "You’ve been suffering with this thing I can see a change in you already-yes, in just a few days," she insisted when I started to contest it "You’re pale You’re worn, tired"
"I know," I said I couldn’t argue There were the headaches and the feeling of lead-boned weariness that followed every exposure to it
"Well, I can’t see it then," Anne said, irritated atyou and yet you tellabout it Because you think you’re athat," I said "What I’ for a while It is going somewhere; I feel it"
"Oh feel, feel" She pressed her lips together angrily "And what aht when you jolt out of a sound sleep as if you’d been shot? I’nant, Tooing to help ht?"
"Honey, I-"
The doorbell rang then and I got up and walked across the living roo sensation It was brief but most decided While it lasted it was as if I were netic field
I opened the door and saw Harry Sentas standing there
"Oh" I was surprised "Hello"
"Evening," he said He was a tall, heavy-set man who, somehoays looked unsuited to the clothes he wore He would have looked rease stain across his florid cheek
"I coured I’d save you a trip over"
"Oh" I nodded
"Who there?" Richard ca into the room and I heard Anne call him back
"Well, isn’t it two days yet?" I asked Sentas
"Figured you’d wanna get it out of your hair before then," he said
"I see" I cleared o make out a check"
"I’ll wait," he said
I went back into the kitchen and got the check book out of the cupboard drawer Anne looked questioningly at ed
"Who that?" Richard asked