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THIRTEEN
Claire ith the sun in her eyes, again, and for a precious, sweet second she just savored the warmth of it on her body, and the fact that Shane was still curled up against her back, one heavy arretfully, she turned over to face him "Hey," she said "Wake up, sleepyhead; we overslept"
Shaneand tried to put a pillow over his head She pulled it off "Cos to do!"
"Go &039;way, Lyss," he moaned, and opened his eyes, blinked, and finally focused on her
And then he coot caught in the covers, and, when he tried to get free, fell out of bed onto the floor Claire laughed and leaned over the side, looking down at him "Hey, are youokay?"
The words died in herHe writhed around in the covers, grabbed a blanket, and wrapped it around his body as he cli away from the bed
And her
He held out the hand that wasn&039;t holding up the blanket, palm out "Okay," he said "Okay, think, Collins, think--yeah, okay, this is aard, and I&039;m really sorry, because I&039;m sure you&039;re really--Oh, ? There "
"Shane?" Claire still had a sheet, and now she pulled it over herself, suddenly cold and feeling very exposed "Shane--"
He was still backing away, looking panicked and deeply uncomfortable "So, we&039;ve obviously been fore Uh, hi Look, you&039;ve got to keep it down, okay? My parents will kill me if--" He stopped and looked around the room "Oh, shit This is not my rooht My dad is going to--" He squeezed his eyes shut "Pants I need pants Where areReally, truly shattering into sharp, jagged, bloody pieces She wanted to scream, and cry, andShe couldn&039;t bring herself to say anything, and he ignored her totally to look around He found his pants and T-shirt, and aardly put on his pants under the cover of the blanket before dropping it Before he got his shirt on, he turned back to look at her, and it hurt, it hurt so badly to have him see her like that and not know her at all
Her utter, horrified misery must have shown in her face, because his expression softened a little bit He took a couple of steps toward the bed and said, "Um, look--I knowI&039; this to you, and I proet drunk off my ass and hook up like this, and you seemyou don&039;t seem like the type I mean, you&039;re pretty; I don&039;t mean you&039;re not--I&039;ht now" He pulled his shirt on and looked for shoes, which he slipped on without socks or even bending over to tie them "Look, I&039;ll call you, okay? Uhyour name is"
"Claire," she whispered, and tears broke free and started strea down her face "My name is Claire This is my fault" "Hey, don&039;t do that, don&039;t--I&039;m sorry It&039;s not your fault You seem"--he bent over and aardly kissed her, and it felt like he was a stranger--"nice I proure this out Oh, Jesus, did I have aDid we take precautions or" He shook his head "Not now I can&039;t think about this right now I have to go Later"
"Wait!" she wailed, as he opened her bedroom door and ran out down the hall "Shane, wait!" He didn&039;t She grabbed up her jeans and shirt from the floor, threw them on, stepped into her shoes, and ran after hi in the living roo breathlessly down the steps, he turned to look at her again This time he didn&039;t seem as confused But he didn&039;t seem to be back to himself, either "This is Michael&039;s house," he said "What are we doing here?"
"Shane--Shane, please listen to me; we live here! With Michael! And Eve!"
"Keep your voice down!" Hemotions at her, and lowered his voice even more "Okay, you seemed nice, and now you seem a little bit whacked We don&039;t live here Maybe you live here--; I don&039;t know--but I live with my parents and my sister Not here"
"No! No, your parents--" Oh, God What was she going to say? What could she say? Her mind went completely blank He waited, then held up both hands and backed away
"Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael&039;s house when they&039;re all gone I&039;o; she just couldn&039;t As he walked down the hall, she ran after hio houe with her at that point; he just opened the front door and walked out into theif she should go back and get her backpack, get so fast, and she had no idea where the old Collins house had once been He&039;d never once told her, or pointed it out to her
She locked the door and started following him
Shane never looked back; nore her--she wasn&039;t sure She kept a good distance between them, careful not to look too creepy and stalkery, but it couldn&039;t be helped If she let hiht
He turned the corner up ahead, and when she hurried to catch up, she saw hi a lot of distance between theht never find hi, not only for her, but for hi an alley, sure he was still up ahead, when Shane grabbed her and sla She hadn&039;t realized in a long ti Or how he usually didn&039;t show it, unless he wanted to Like now There was a fire in his eyes, and an angry, stubborn set to his jaw Shane in fightingh," he said then, and let go "Look, I don&039;t want to hurt you, but you need to stop following me It&039;s creepy and weird Walk away, or next ti to be so nice about it"
"You wouldn&039;t hurt me," Claire said "I know you wouldn&039;t"
"Yeah, well, don&039;t count on it I don&039;t like hitting girls, but it doesn&039;t ht Ask Monica" He frowned then, and she saw real anger in his eyes "Monica Did she set this up? What was it, so to Facebook the hell out of it? Black to do with Monica" "Bullshit," Shane said bluntly "Stop followingto work"
He walked out into the sunlight and kept going She didn&039;t knohat to do She knew he erous, and in Morganville, nobody could afford to ignore that So he&039;d probably do soet her arrested
She didn&039;t care, but there had to be soo
A wo the addresses of buildings Probably trying to find a store that wasn&039;t there anyht around the corner, and then walked up to the stranger "Hello," she said, trying desperately hard to sound polite and helpful, and not as deeply freaked-out as she felt The woave her a distracted sanville native, which was a relief "U?"
"Oh, it&039;s so stupid I think I got turned around," the wo here for years--Grant&039;s Dry Cleaner&039;s I could have sworn it wasright here"
"Oh, I think it moved," Claire said "Isn&039;t it one block over now?"
"Is it?" The woman frowned, and Claire saw fear and confusion in her eyes She wished she could help her, but she didn&039;t kno, really "Oh, that ine why IGuess I&039; ht, but she said, "I can&039;t re before I have coffee," and smiled The woman looked a little reassured "U for Frank Collins&039;s house; I think it&039;s around here somewhere?"
"Oh, Mr Collins" The woman didn&039;t look as if she were very fond of him, but she nodded "Yeah, he and his family live two blocks over, then one block to the left It&039;s on Helicon Drive Big two-story house"
"Thanks," Claire said sincerely "I hope you get to work okay"
"Oh, I will Maybe I&039;ll just stop for coffee first, though"
Claire gave her a little wave and took off running The lady called after her, "Dear, you&039;re going the wrong way!"
"Shortcut!" Claire yelled back
Now that she knehere the house should be, she cut along a side road and through a couple of alleys--dangerous, but necessary if she wanted to avoid looking like she was following Shane again She ran hard, and caht road, and a block farther over, just as he caly empty lot in theroeeds, but the remains of a house were still therecracked concrete foundations, so else but so to haul away easily Claire stopped and stood where she atching as Shane came toward the lotand stopped
He looked at the ruins, then at the ain Finally, he opened the mailbox to look inside The door fell off of it, but he found so, yellowed papers inside
Bills With his fauessed He stared at them, shook his head, and slowly put them back into the box
She saw it hit hie that things weren&039;t like they were supposed to be That ti rong
He staggered and tried to catch hiainst the mailbox, and knocked it over into the weeds Shane frantically tried to pick it up, fix it, h, and he finally had to lay it down Then he sat beside it, holding his head in his hands, shaking
Claire walked over, very slowly "Shane," she said "Shane, I&039;m so sorry I didn&039;t kno to tell you I&039;m so sorry"
"My house," he whispered "It&039;s here It&039;s supposed to be here" He looked up at her, and there were tears swi happened What happened?"
She felt sick, and she loathed every second of what she knew she was about to do to him "There was aan accident"
"Where are they?" Shane asked, and looked at the devastation where his life had once been There was a rusted swing set in the back, bent and broken "Alyssa Where&039;s Alyssa? Where&039;s my sister?"
Claire reached out a hand to him "Get up," she said softly "I&039;ll take you"
"I want to see my sister! I&039;m responsible for her!"
"I know Justtrust me, okay? I&039;ll take you"
He wasn&039;t in any shape now to be angry, or even suspicious He just took her hand, and she pulled hi him down the street and on The sun blazed doar winter in short, sharp bursts
"Where are we going?" Shane asked, but not as if he cared much "I can&039;t believeIt ht when I--"
"Shane, you saw that The weeds are waist high Thethere" Claire pulled in a deep breath "It&039;s been years since that happened It didn&039;t happen overnight"
"You&039;re cracked" He tried to pull free of her, but she held on "It&039;s not true I was there yesterday!"
"Listen to me! God, Shane, please! I know you think it was yesterday, but it&039;s been a long time You&039;ve beenother places You just don&039;t reht now" She sed a lu brave and calm "You&039;ll be fine Justtrust me"
"Take me to my family"
"I&039;ll take you to Alyssa," she said "Please Trust raveyard was cold and silent, and the wind felt even ranite head-stones and white reen, but mostly brown
The headstone read, ALYSSA COLLINS, BELOVED DAUGHTER AND SISTER, and it gave her dates of birth and death
Shane read it, and his face hite and very still His eyes seee when he looked at Claire "It&039;s not true"
"I&039;m sorry," she said "But it is"
"It&039;s a sick joke"
"No," she said "Shane, Alyssa died in the fire She died three years ago, before you left Morganville with your mom and dad Before I ever came here I know you don&039;t remember that, but it happened You left town, and you came back, and you moved into Michael&039;s house with him and Eve Then I ca step back, then another one He almost ran into another headstone, and braced hi; this is soame of Monica&039;s, but this is low even for her--"
"Shane, Monica didn&039;t do this, and it&039;s not a gah to you!" he yelled, and shoved her so hard she fell and almost cracked her skull on Marvis Johnson&039;s memorial stone "You stay the hell away from me and my family, you crazy bitch! This is sick! This is fake!"
He tried to push over Alyssa&039;s to, and Claire lay where she atching hiht maybe this would convince him, maybe it would force him to rememberbut he didn&039;t He couldn&039;t
"Please," she whispered "Please stop, Shane Stop hurting yourself; I can&039;t stand it"
He collapsed against his sister&039;s tombstone and just sat there, his back to Claire His shoulders were shaking She got up and went to kneel beside him He looked destroyed, justbroken She put her hand on his shoulder
He didn&039;t hit her, at least He didn&039;t see and sweating, and hunched in on himself as if somebody had punched him really, really hard "She can&039;t be," he said "She can&039;t be dead I justI just saw her She wasfun of my shirt My shirt" He looked down at himself, pulled his T-shirt out, and said, "I wasn&039;t wearing this This isn&039;t even "
"I know," Claire said "I know it feels that way Shane, please come back with me Please I&039;ll show you the roonize soet up You can&039;t stay here; it&039;s cold" He didn&039;t move "Alyssa wouldn&039;t want you to stay here"
"Why didn&039;t she get out?" he asked "If there was a fire, how did I get out if she didn&039;t? I wouldn&039;t leave her I wouldn&039;t do that I couldn&039;tjustrun--"
"You didn&039;t," Claire said, and put her arm around him "You tried to save her You told me, Shane I kno hard you tried"
He finally swiped at his eyes and looked at her "I don&039;t even know you," he said "Why are you doing this?"
There it was again How could her heart keep on breaking? Why didn&039;t it just do it once and get it over with? Claire struggled to keep the hurt she felt fro in her voice "I know you think you don&039;t," she said "But honest, Shane, you do know me We&039;refriends"
He stared at her for what seeest time, and then he said, "I&039;s like that"
"I know"
"Is it true? Is Lyss really"
Claire just nodded without speaking Shane&039;s hair blew in his face, but he didn&039;t blink She reached over without thinking and ainst his face
"You touch me a lot," he said "Don&039;t you?"
She looked down and felt the blush uess I do," she said "I&039; her, as if he were really seeing her for the first ti out?"
She nodded He didn&039;t say anything at all She didn&039;t kno to feel about that Before she could think how to ask what he was feeling, he stood up, and she hurried to do the same
"So I have a ot some kind of kick in the head and I lost a bunch of tiot all this And you"
That wassoto say "Yes" She nodded "Amnesia That&039;s why you need to trust erous out here You don&039;t kno dangerous"
For the first tinized--classic Shane "It&039;s Morganville Of course it&039;s dangerous" He glanced back down at Alyssa&039;s headstone, and that moment of the Shane she knew flickered and al around the cemetery like some dumb-ass Alyssa wasn&039;t like that She&039;d uessI guess I can go to Michael&039;s house At least I know him, even if I don&039;t know you"
She smiled a little It felt forced "We&039;ll work on it" She held out her hand, but he put his in his pockets
"No offense," he said, "but I&039;ve got a lot to think about, here I need soain
It felt just as bad this tied to say "I understand"
There was still nobody at the Glass House when they returned, but Claire still shuddered in relief at just being home Shane looked a little mistrustful, but he came inside and didn&039;t protest when she locked up behind him "Do you want to see your room?" she asked He shook his head, hands firmly in his pockets "Do you want coffee?"
"I hate coffee," he said "Never touch the stuff"