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The rooet Avery out of the delivery stirrups and back onto the bed so they can transport her to the OR The staff is shouting back and forth and I’m lost as to what ht reloves and pulls me aside as the staff preps Avery "We can’t use her epidural for the cesarean because it isn’t dosed with enough o to sleep so you can’t go back with her but if anything strange happens during the delivery, I’ll need you to wipe it from their minds so they can’t remember or document it"

A full ind later, Avery is whisked from the room I catch up and run beside her bed I stretch upward and she rolls towardto be okay"

I just lied toto be okay And we both know it

"I love you too," she calls out as I watch her disappear down a sterile hallway leading to the OR where I once again have no control over her safety

"You can wait in your wife’s room, Mr Alexander" I feel numb as I return to the place where it looks like a tornado just blew through leaving ehter was taken to the nursery during the chaos so I’m alone behind the closed door and I drop toto hearyour arms of safety around the Please be a boy so we don’t have to worry about losing this child

It seems an eternity when there’s finally a knock at the door I recognize some of the staff from earlier but there’s a new face in the crowd this time And it’s wrapped in a blue and pink beanie hat and soft flannel blanket "Here’s your little troublefor what she just pulled"

My heart stuirl?"

"You see a boy?" she says as she passes the baby girl tobecause I’hter "No We didn’t know the gender"

"I don’t kno you went the whole pregnancy without finding out what these babies were" I’lad we didn’t We’d have expected the worst if we had known they were both girls "Looks like you’ll be seeing a lot of pink around your place"

I immediately rack ias but all three have one thing in common They died the moment they were born And this child isn’t dead She’s veryat me

I pull back her beanie to look at her hair and it’s different frohter’s This baby is blond like Avery They are total opposites so it isn’t possible for theia

I’ I have two healthy daughters One is like ht inin Avery’s postpartuht in from recovery It’s beenrooency cesarean and I’m anxious to see that she’s unhareneral anesthesia hit her vein but it’s sloearing off because I’ to pick up bits and pieces of emotion frohters but disappointed I’ll have to wait since she’s still sleeping "I thought she’d be awake after she left the recovery rooery so we had to give her soy for a little while" The nurse is leaving when she turns back "She did wake up long enough to ask about the babies"

I immediately panic "What did you tell her?"

"I’m sorry She dozed off before we could tell her she had another daughter"

Good Avery would have lost it if she had learned the second baby was a girl I need to be the one to tell her so I can immediately reassure her both babies are fine

Avery is assessed by the nurse and then left to rest until ti in bed with her blond curls fanned out on the pillow beneath her head The beautiful sight reht look like

It’s still night but the others have gone home They felt it was important we have this time to bond with our new babies so I’m alone with a sedated Avery when the nursery staff s theh the nurse’s teaching about the care of our babies and I’one And I’ile I’aze atover them All is well for a while until one of the fit

It’s the dark haired one hter by her name because she doesn’t have one Neither of thereed on anything Avery was determined one was a boy so we certainly didn’t choose na with her but I pick hter up and hold her for the first tiently without any improvement in her mood "I don’t knohat you want, little one"