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I stand on a vast grass field of ht There is no sun, but a hundred blazing blue stars, each shi river of nebulous cloud The air is warrant with the perfume of a thousand invisible flowers In the distance a streae vessel of solowing; the bright rays that stab forth from it seem to reach to the stars Somehow I know that it is about to leave and that I am supposed to be on it Yet, before I depart, there is so I have to discuss with Lord Krishna
He stands beside ht hand, a red lotus flower in his left His dress is siround Only he wears a single jewel around his neck-the brilliant Kaustubha gem, in which the destiny of every soul can be seen He does not look at me but toward the vast ship, and the stars beyond He see for me to speak, but for some reason I cannot remember what he said last I only know that I am a special case Because I do not knohat to ask, I say what is estures to the vast plain, the thousands of people leaving &039;The earth is a place of time and dimension Moments here can seem like an eternity there It all depends on your heart When you remem?ber me, I am there in the blink of an eye" "Even on earth?"
He nods "Especially there It is a unique place Even the gods pray to take birth there" "Why is that,It has been said, I know, that the sels It has bewildered mine
"One question always leads to another question Sos are better to wonder about" He turns toward ht breeze The stars reflect in his black pupils; the whole universe is there The love that flows from him is the sweetest ambrosia in all the heavens Yet it breaks one "It is all et lost in this illusion, my Lord?"
"Of course It is to be expected You will be lost for a long tiet you?"
"Yes"
I feel tears on my face "Why does it have to be that way?"
He considers "There was this great god as master of a vast ocean This ocean-you od had three wives You kno hard it is to please one wife? You can i after he ifts The first one said, &039;O great Lord We are the finest of your wives, the most beautiful Reward us with special presents and ill be most pleased&039; And the second one said, &039;We have served you faithfully and love none other than you Give us treasures and ill stay with you for the rest of your life&039; The god laughed at their requests, but because he was pleased with theave all the jewels in his ocean: the diaave all the colored coral, all the beautiful seashells The third wife, of course, asked for nothing in particular So he gave her the salt"
"The salt,froave her the salt, which she spread out in the ocean All the bright jewels became invisible, and all the pretty seashells were covered over And the first tives were unable to find their treasure and so were left with nothing So you see the salt was the greatest of the gifts, or at least the most powerful" Krishna pauses "You understand this story, Sita?"
I hesitate There are always s in his stories "Yes This nearby ocean is the creation we are about to enter The salt is the maya, the illusion, that covers its treasures"
Krishna nods "Yes But understand that these treasures are not evil, and the goddesses n them are not simply vain Dive deep into this ocean and they will cause currents to stir that will lead you to things you cannot iine" He pauses and then continues in a softer voice, onceat the sky "I dreamed of the earth, and that is how it came to be In my dream I saw you there" He reaches out and his hand touches s that only earth can teach That is true but it is also false All of truth is paradoxical WithDo you understand?"
"No, my Lord"
He removes his hand "It doesn&039;t matter You are like the earth, unique But unlike the others you see before you, you will not coo there o there and stay"
"For how long, e You will not leave until the next age comes"
My tears return "And in all that ti after you are changed Then, it is possible, you ain before you leave the earth" Krishna smiles "It is all up to you"
I do not understand what heconcerns "But I don&039;t want to go at all!"
He laughs so easily "You say that now You will not say that later" His eyes hold er In that brief span I see many faces, many stars It is as if the whole universe spins below and completes an entire revolu?tion But I have not left the hilltop I continue to stare into Krishna&039;s eyes Or are they really eyes and not s into a portion of lobe of light e world of many forms and shapes He speaks to me in a whisper "How do you feel now, Sita?"
I raise my hand to my head "Dizzy I feel somehow as if I have just lived" I stop "I feel as if I have already been to earth and been e I feel as if I have been so other than human Is that possible?"
He nods "You will be human for only a short time And, yes, it has all happened already You see, that is the mayo You think what you have to do, to accomplish, to perfect yourself to reach me But there is no doer-ship You are alith me, and I am alith you Still, it is deep in your heart to be different fro life what it takes others thousands of lives to accoel, but you wish to be like ood and evil Yet I as Dive deep into the ocean, Sita, and you will find that the greatest treasures you find are the illusions you leave behind"
"I do not understand"
"It doesn&039;t matter" He raises his flute to his lips "Noill play you a song made up of the seven notes of humanity All the emotions you will feel as a hu and you will re and I will be there"
"Wait! What is a vampire?"
But Krishna has already started to play As I strive to listen a sudden wind comes up on the plain and the notes are drowned out The dust rises and I am blinded, and I can&039;t see Krishna anyht of the stars fades and all goes dark And reat
Yet I have to wonder if I have lost the song because I have beco If I have lost my Lord because I do indeed desire to be what I will becoel who kills
I awake to a world I don&039;t want There is no transition for me I am in paradise, I am in hell
"Hello?" a voice says
Actually, I a around, I see a chipped chest of drawers, a dusty mirror that reflects bare walls, a dumpy mattress It is on this mattress that I lay, naked, covered with a sheet In this reflection I also see Special Agent Joel Drake, who sits on a chair near theand waits anxiously forat first
Ray is dead I know this, I feel this Yet, at the sa I heartolife I have drunk the blood of thou?sands, but now I ah the room is warm
"Yes?" I say finally
"Sita" In the mirror I watch the reflection of Joel cos respond to the weight, and ht?" he asks
"Yes"
"You&039;re in a motel I took you here after the explosion at the warehouse That elve hours ago You have slept away the entire day"
"Yes"
He speaks without believing his oords "I followed in your footsteps I went to see the e state, incoherent, like a broken record She kept repeating the location of the ware?house that blew up She said little else"
"Yes" Clearly I pushed the estion in her psyche, set up an echo I have done this in the past, and the effect is seldoht in a day or two Not that I care
"I iot there you and your partner were confronting that guy I was running over just as the explosion happened" He pauses "You were thrown free, but I was sure you were dead You bit a brick ith incredible force, and your clothes were all on fire I covered you with my coat and put out the fla I loaded you inyou to the hospital when I noticedI saith"You started to heal, right there in front of me The cuts on your face closed, and your back-it had to be broken in a hundred places-just knit back together I thought to myself, "This is impossible I can&039;t take her to a hospital They&039;ll want to lock her away for the next ten years for observation" He stops "So I brought you here Are you following this?"
"Yes"
He is getting desperate "Tellhere Who are you?"
I continue to stare in the mirror I don&039;t want to ask the questions Si It is not as though I have any hope Yet I ask anyway
"The young uy as on fire?" Yes" I s My throat is dry "Was he thrown?"
Joel softens "No"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"But is he dead?"
Joel understands what I a My partner was like me, not normal Even severely injured, he could have healed But Joel shakes his head, and I know Ray was blown to pieces