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21

COMMON COURTESY

Charlie was torn - he really wanted to take his sword-cane, but he couldn’t carry it while using the crutches He considered duct-taping it to one of the crutches, but he thought that o with you?" Ray asked "Iand all?"

"I’ll be fine," Charlie said "Soo, can I ask you so?"

"Sure" Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask, Charlie thought

"Why did you need me to find these tomen?"

You robot-necked bastard, you had to ask "I told you, estate stuff" Charlie shrugged No big deal, let it go, nothing to see here

"Yeah, I know you told me that, and normally that would make sense, but I found out a lot about these thile looking for them - no one in either of their faling his keys, the cane, his date book, and his crutches by the back door "Both bequests were from nonrelatives Old friends" No wonder wos alone

"Uh-huh," Ray said, unconvinced "You knohen people run, when they go as far as faking their own death to get away, they are usually running fro, Charlie?"

"Ray, listen to yourself Are you back on your serial-killer thing? I thought Rivera explained that"

"So this is for Rivera?"

"Let’s say he’s interested," Charlie said

"Why didn’t you just say so?"

Charlie sighed "Ray, I’m not supposed to talk about this stuff, you know that Fourth Aood, and you have contacts I depend on you and I trust you I think you know that you can depend on ht? I mean, in all these years, I’ve never put your disability pension in jeopardy by being careless about our arrangement, have I?"

It was a threat, however subtle, and Charlie felt bad for doing it, but he just couldn’t let Ray continue to push on this, particularly since he was in unexplored territory himself - he didn’t even knohat kind of bluff he was covering

"So Mrs Johnson isn’t going to end up dead if I find her for you?"

"I will not lay a hand on Mrs Johnson or Mrs PojoMrs Pokojo - or that other woman either You haveon a Bible and dropped one of his crutches

"Why don’t you just use the cane?" Ray said

"Right," Charlie said He leaned the crutches on the door and tried his weight on the bad leg and the cane The doctors had, indeed, said that it was just a flesh wound, so there was no tendon daht on that foot The cane would work, he decided "I should be back to relieve you before five" He li lied to He’d had quite enough of that fro sensitive about being taken for a fool Who did Charlie Asher think he was fooling? As soon as he got the store squared away, he’d give Rivera a call and see for hi, then went to Charlie’s "special" rack, where he kept the weird estate items that he made such a fuss about You were only supposed to sell one to each customer, but Ray had sold five of them to the same woman in the last teeks He knew he should have said so open with hiht the stuff was cute, and she’d sure, and really striking light blue eyes Plus there was so about her voice - she see was going to be okay and no one needed to worry Maybe he was projecting And she didn’t have an Ada plus in Ray’s book lately He’d tried to get her na in her wallet, but she’d paid in cash and had been as careful as a poker player covering her cards If she’d driven, she’d parked too far away for hiet into her car from the store, so there was no license number to trace

He resolved to ask her name if she came in today And she was due to co alone He’d seen her check through theonce when he orking with Lily, and only caone He really hoped she’d come in

He tried to calm himself down for his call to Rivera He didn’t want to seeuy as still on the job He used his own cell phone for the call so Rivera would see it was hi Sophie for this long, given what had happened a few days ago, but on the other hand, whatevercaused by histhese two soul vessels The quicker he fixed the problem, the quicker the threat would be diminished Besides, the hellhounds were her best defense, and he’d given express instructions to Mrs Ling that the dogs and Sophie were not to be separated for any amount of tih Golden Gate Park into the Sunset, re himself to take Sophie to the Japanese Tea Garden to feed the koi, now that her plague on pets seemed to have subsided

The Sunset district lay just south of Golden Gate Park, bordered by the Ahway and Ocean Beach on the west, and Twin Peaks and the University of San Francisco on the east It had once been a suburb, until the city expanded to include it, and s, built en masse in the 1940s and ’50s They were like the hborhoods across the entire country in that postwar period, but in San Francisco, where so much had been built after the quake and fire of ’06, then again in the economic boom of the late twentieth century, they seemed like anachronis through the Eisenhower era, at least until he passed a mother with a shaved head and tribal tattoos on her scalp pushing twins in a double stroller

Irena Posokovanovich’s sister lived in a small, one-story frarowing up trellises on either side and springing off into the air like -after-sex hair The rest of the tiny yard was e at the sidewalk to the red geraniums that lined the concrete path up to the house

Charlie parked a block away and walked to the house On the way he was nearly run over by two different joggers, one a youngstroller They couldn’t see hi in? And then what? If he was the Luminatus, then perhaps just his presence would take care of the problem

He checked around back and saw that there was a car in the garage, but the shades were drawn on all the s Finally he decided on the frontal approach and rang the doorbell

A few seconds later a short wo a pink chenille housecoat opened the door "Yes," she said, looking a little suspicious as she eyed Charlie’s walking cast She quickly flipped the lock on the screen door "Can I help you?"

It was the wo for Irena Posokovanovich"

"Well, she’s not here," said Irena Posokovanovich "Youhouse" She started to close the door

"Wasn’t there a death notice in the paper a couple of weeks ago?" Charlie said So far, his aweso much of an effect on her

"Well, yes, I believe there was," said the wo an out She opened the door a little edy We all loved Irena so , attractive - you know, for her age - well-read - "

"And evidently didn’t know that it’s considered common courtesy when you publish a death notice to actually die!" Charlie held out the enlarged driver’s-license picture He considered adding aha! but thought that ht be a little over-the-top

Irena Posokovanovich slammed the door "I don’t knoho you are, but you have the wrong house," she said through the door

"You knoho I am," Charlie said Actually, she probably had no idea who he was "And I knoho you are, and you are supposed to have died three weeks ago"

"You’re o away before I call the police and tell theed a little, then pushed on "I am not a rapist, Mrs PosoPosokev - I’m Death, Irena That’s who I am And you are overdue You need to die, thisto be afraid of It’s like going to sleep, only, well - "

"I’m not ready," Irena whined "If I was ready I wouldn’t have left my home I’m not ready"

"I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have to insist"

"I’m sure you’re mistaken Perhaps another Mrs Posokovanovich"

"No, here it is, right here in the calendar, with your address It’s you" Charlie held his date book turned to the page with her name on it up to the littlein the door

"And you say that that is Death’s calendar?"

"That’s correct, ma’am Notice the date And this is your second notice"

"And you are Death?"

"That’s right"

"Well, that’s just silly"

"I am not silly, Mrs Posokovanovich I am Death"

"Aren’t you supposed to have a sickle and a long black robe?"

"No, we don’t do that anymore Take my word for it, I am Death" He tried to sound really ominous

"Death is always tall in the pictures" She was standing on tiptoe, he could tell the way she kept bouncing up by the littleto get a look at hiht requirement"

"Then could I see your business card?"

"Sure" Charlie took out a card and held it against the glass

"This says ’Purveyor of Fine Vintage Clothing and Accessories’"

"Right! Exactly!" He knew he should have had a second set of business cards printed up "And where do you think I get those things? Fro to have to ask you to leave"

"No,to have to insist that you pass away, this instant You’re overdue"

"Go away! You are a charlatan, and I think you need psychological help"

"Death! You’re fucking with Death! Capital D, bitch!" Well, that was uncalled for Charlie felt bad the second he said it "Sorry," he o ahead, Mrs - uh - Irena You knohat they’ll tell you, that you’re dead! It was in the Chronicle They hardly ever print stuff that’s not true"

"Please go away I practiced for a long tier, it’s not fair"

"What?"

"Go away"

"I heard that part, I o take someone else"

Charlie actually had no idea what he would do if she let him in Maybe he had to touch her for his Death abilities to kick in He reht Zone as a kid, where Robert Redford was Death, and this old lady wouldn’t let him in, so he pretended to be injured, and when she came to help himALA-KAZAM! She croaked, and he peacefully led her off to Hole in the Wall, where she helped him produce independent movies Maybe that would work He did have the cast and the cane going for him

He looked up and down the street to make sure that no one could see him, then he lay down, half on the little porch, half on the concrete steps He threw his cane against the door and made sure that it clattered loudly on the concrete, then he let out what he thought was a very convincing wail "Ahhhhhhhhh, I’ve broken ray hair at the little , bouncing a little so she could see out

"Oh, it hurts," Charlie wailed "Help"

More steps, the shade in theto the right of the door parted and he saw an eye He griht?" said Mrs Posokovanovich

"I need help My leg was hurt before, but I slipped on your steps I think I’ve broken so out" He kept his leg below the level where she could see it

"Oh my," she said "Give me a minute"

"Help Please The pain So - hed the way cowboys do when they are dying in the dirt and things are getting all dark

He heard the latch being thrown, and then the inner door opened "You’re really hurt bad," she said

"Please," Charlie said, holding his hand out to her "Help rin "Oh, thank you," he gasped

She threw open the screen door and blasted him in the face with a streaht Zone, you son of a bitch!" The doors slammed The latch was thrown

Charlie’s face felt like it was on fire

When he could finally see well enough to walk, as he limped back to his van, he heard a female voice say, "I’d have let you in, lover" Then a chorus of spooky-girlish laughter erupted froainst the van, ready to draw the sword fro barking in the sewer

"Where did he come from?" said one of the harpies

"He bit s When we take over, no dogs"

The barking faded away, followed by the voices of the sewer harpies Charlie took a deep breath and tried to blink the pain out of his eyes He needed to regroup, but then he was taking the old lady down, pepper spray or not

It took hiet into position, but once he was ready, he put down the cinder block, flipped open his cell phone, and dialed the nuotten from information

A woas corid is showing pressure loss at your address We’re sending a truck right out, but you need to get everyone out of the house, right now"

"Well, I’ht now, but I’ up under the house," Charlie said, feeling proud of hi quick on his feet Is there anyone else in the house?"

"No, just me and o out by the street Our truck will ht"

"Thank you, ma’am" Charlie clicked off He could feel e of the porch roof and raised the concrete cinder block over his head It’ll look like an accident, he thought, like a cinder block fell off the porch roof He was glad that no one could see hi from the climb, his armpits stained, his trousers wrinkled

He heard the door open and got ready to throw the cinder block as soon as his target eed from under the roof

"Good afternoon, ma’am" A man’s voice, out by the street

Charlie looked down to see Inspector Rivera standing at the sidewalk, having just cli here?

"Are you the gas company?" said Mrs Posokovanovich

"No, ma’ae