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5

DARKNESS GETS UPPITY

Hey, Ray," Charlie said as he came down the steps into the storeroom He always tried to make a lot of noise on the steps and usually fired a loud and early "hello" to warn his e He’d worked a nu back to take over the family business, and had learned from experience that nobody liked a sneaky boss

"Hey, Charlie," Ray said Ray was out front, sitting on a stool behind the counter He was pushing forty, tall, balding, andhis head He couldn’t As a San Francisco policeer’s bullet in the neck six years ago, and that was the last ti a enerous disability pension froe for free rent on his fourth-floor apart the transaction off both their books

He spun around on the stool to face Charlie "Hey - uh - I wanted to say that, you know, your situation, I mean, your loss Everybody liked Rachel You know, if I can do anything - "

It was the first time Charlie had seen Ray since the funeral, so the aardness of secondary condolences had yet to be forded "You’ve doneon?" Charlie was trying desperately to not look at the various objects in the shop that were glowing dull red

"Oh, this" Ray rotated and pushed back so that Charlie could see the computer screen, where there were displayed rows of portraits of s Asian women "It’s called Desperate Filipinas dot-coTime?"

"That was not her name Did Lily tell you that? That kid has problems"

"Yeah, well, kids," Charlie said, suddenly noticing athe curio shelves at the front of the store She was carrying a porcelain frog that was glowing dull red

Ray clicked on one of the pictures, which opened a profile "Look at this one, boss It says she’s into sculling" He spun on his stool again and bounced his eyebrows at Charlie

Charlie pulled his attention fro and looked at the screen

"That’s rowing, Ray"

"No it’s not Look, it says she was a coxswain in college" Again with the eyebrow bounce, he offered a high five

"Also rowing," Charlie said, leaving the ex-cop hanging "The person at the back of the boat who yells at the rowers is called the coxswain"

"Really?" Ray said, disappointed He’d been married three times, and been left by all three wives because of an inability to develop normal adult social skills Ray reacted to the world as a cop, and while many women found that attractive initially, they expected hi with his service weapon, in the coat closet when he arrived home He didn’t When Ray had first come to work at Asher’s Secondhand, it had taken twocusto to see here" Ray spent a lot of tieneral

"But, dude, rowing!" Charlie said, trying to make it all better He liked the ex-cop in spite of his aardness Ray was basically a good guy, kindhearted and loyal, hardworking and punctual, buthis hair faster than Charlie

Ray sighed "Maybe I should search for another Web site What’s a word that means that your standards are lower than the desperate?"

Charlie read down the page a little "This woe, Ray And look at her She’s gorgeous And nineteen Why is she desperate?"

"Hey, wait a irl is too s"

Ray spun on the stool as if Charlie had poked him in the ear with a pencil "No!"

"Ray, look at her She looks like one of those Asian models for Sour Apple Flavored Calamari Treats"

"They have that?"

Charlie pointed to the left side of the front"Ray, let me introduce you to Chinatown Chinatown, this is Ray Ray, Chinatown"

Ray smiled, e but dried shark parts, the s full of pictures of beautiful Chinese wo shark spleens and eyeballs like they’d just received an Acadeh here did have a few errors and o the wo the counter

"Well, she said that she enty-three, five feet tall, a hundred five pounds, so I thought, ’Okay, I can have fun with a petite woman’ Turns out it was a hundred and five kilos"

"So, not what you expected?" Charlie said He soing to buy the frog!

"Five foot - two-thirty She was built like a otten past that, but she wasn’t even twenty-three, she was sixty-three One of her grandsons tried to sell her to me"

"Ma’am, I’m sorry, you can’t buy that," Charlie said to the woman

"You hear the expression all the time," Ray went on, "but you hardly ever randmother"

"Why not?" the woeous," the woman said "It’s rand is not for sale, ma’am, I’m sorry It’s defective"

"Then why do you have it on the shelf? Why is it marked for sale? I don’t see any defect"

Evidently she couldn’t see that the goofy porcelain frog was not only glowing in her hands, it had started to pulsate Charlie reached across the counter and snatched it away from her

"It’s radioactive, ma’am I’ her," Ray said "I just flew to the Philippines to meet her"

"It is not radioactive," the wo to jack up the price Fine, I’ll give you twenty for it"

"No,to look concerned, holding the frog to his chest as if shielding her froy "And it’s clearly ridiculous You’ll note that this frog is playing a banjo with only two strings A travesty, really Why don’t you letin awoman" would win hi her purse before her like a shield "I’ from you wack jobs"

"Hey!" Ray protested, as if to say that there was only one wack job on duty and he wasn’t it

Then she did it, she quickstepped to a rack of shoes and picked up a pair of size-twelve, red Converse All Stars They, too, were glowing "I want these"

"No" Charlie tossed the frog over his shoulder to Ray, who fumbled it and almost dropped it "Those aren’t for sale either"

The to the sneakers behind her Charlie stalked her down the aisle, taking the occasional grab at the All Stars "Give them"

When the woman butt-buled, she looked up and Charliearound her and grabbing the laces of the sneakers, as well as a scoop of big, tweedy ass in the bargain He quickstepped back toward the counter, tossed the sneakers to Ray, and then turned and fell into a sue the to as if she couldn’t decide to be terrified or disgusted "You people need to be put away I’ you to the Better Business Bureau and the local merchants’ association And you, Mr Asher, can tell Ms Severo that I will be back" And with that, she was through the door and gone

Charlie turned to Ray "Ms Severo? Lily? She was here to see Lily?"

"Truant officer," Ray said "She’s been in a couple of ti"

"I didn’t want to lose the sale"

"So, Lily - "

"Ducks out the back when she sees her co The woman also wanted to check with you that the notes for Lily’s absences were legiti back to school, and as of right now, I’reat I took this call today - an estate in Pacific Heights Lots of nice women’s clothes" Ray tapped a piece of notepaper on the counter "I’m not really qualified to handle it"

"I’ll do it, but first we have a lot to catch up on Flip the ’Closed’ sign and lock the front door, would you, Ray?"

Ray didn’t move "Sure, but - Charlie, are you sure that you’re ready to go back to work?" He nodded to the sneakers and frog on the counter

"Oh, those, I think there’s so unusual about those two iteain "Nope"

"Or that once I took the frog away froht for a pair of sneakers that are clearly not her size?"

Ray weighed the truth against the sweet deal he had here, with an apartment and under-the-table incouy before he went 51/50, and he said, "Yeah, there was soe about her"

"Aha!" said Charlie "I just wish I knehere I could get a Geiger counter"

"I have a Geiger counter," Ray said

"You do?"

"Sure, you want et it?"

"Maybe later," Charlie said "Just lock up, and help ather up some of the merchandise"

Over the next hour Ray watched as Charlie moved a set of what seemed rando him to under no circumstances put theer counter that he’d obtained on a sweet trade for a stringless oversized tennis racket and tested each item as Charlie instructed And, of course, they were as inert as dirt

"And you don’t see any glowing or pulsating or anything in this pile?" Charlie asked

"Sorry" Ray shook his head, feeling a little e this "Good first day back to work, though," Ray said, trying to o check on the baby, andI’ll box this stuff up and mark it so Lily won’t sell or trade it"

"Okay," Charlie said "But don’t throw it out, either I’ure this out"