Page 1 (1/2)
This book is dedicated to Patricia Moss, as as generous in sharing her death as she was in sharing her life
AND
To hospice workers and volunteers all over the world
PART ONE
THE SORRY BUSINESS
What you seek, you shall never find
For when the Gods made man,
They kept iht make merry,
Let Days be full of joy
Love the child that holds your hand
Let your wife delight in your embrace
For these alone are the concerns of amesh
1
BECAUSE I COULD NOT STOP FOR DEATH - HE KINDLY STOPPED FOR ME -
Charlie Asher walked the earth like an ant walks on the surface of water, as if the slightest h the surface to be sucked to the depths below Blessed with the Beta Male i into the future so heto kill him - him; his wife, Rachel; and noborn Sophie But despite his attention, his paranoia, his ceaseless fretting fronancy stick to the time they wheeled her into recovery at St Francis Me," Charlie said
"She’s breathing fine," Rachel said, patting the baby’s back "Do you want to hold her?"
Charlie had held baby Sophie for a few seconds earlier in the day, and had handed her quickly to a nurse insisting that so He’d done it twice and kept co up with twenty-one
"They act like that’s all there is to it Like if the kid has theto be fine What if there are extras? Huh? Extra-credit fingers? What if the kid has a tail?" (Charlie was sure he’d spotted a tail in the six-ram Umbilical indeed! He’d kept a hard copy)
"She doesn’t have a tail, Mr Asher," the nurse explained "And it’s ten and ten, we’ve all checked Perhaps you should go hoet soer"
"She’s perfectly nor, Mr Asher She’s a beautiful, healthy baby girl"
"Or a tail"
The nurse sighed She was short, wide, and had a tattoo of a snake up her right calf that showed through her white nurse stockings She spent four hours of every workday h ports in a Lucite incubator, like she was handling a radioactive spark in there She talked to them, coaxed them, told the in chests no bigger than a balled-up pair of sweat socks She cried over every one, and believed that her tears and touch poured a bit of her own life into the tiny bodies, which was just fine with her She could spare it She had been a neonatal nurse for twenty years and had never so oddamn tail, you doofus! Look!" She pulled down the blanket and aiht unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen
Charlie jumped back - a lean and nimble thirty, he was - then, once he realized that the baby wasn’t loaded, he straightened the lapels on his tweed jacket in a gesture of righteous indignation "You could have removed her tail in the delivery room and we’d never know" He didn’t know He’d been asked to leave the delivery rooyn and finally by Rachel ("Hio")
In Rachel’s room, Charlie said: "If they reets older"
"Sophie, your Papa isn’t really insane He just hasn’t slept for a couple of days"
"She’s looking atat eto have to turn tricks to get her MBA"
Rachel took his hand "Honey, I don’t think her eyes can even focus this early, and besides, she’s a little young to start worrying about her turning tricks to get her MFA"
"MBA," Charlie corrected "They start very young these days By the tiet to the track, she could be old enough God, your parents are going to hate me"
"And that would be different how?"
"New reasons, that’s ho I’ve hter a shiksa"
"She’s not a shiksa, Charlie We’ve been through this She’s hter, so she’s as Jewish as I am"
Charlie went down on one knee next to the bed and took one of Sophie’s tiny hands between his fingers "Daddy’s sorry he made you a shiksa" He put his head down, buried his face in the crook where the baby met Rachel’s side Rachel traced his hairline with her fingernail, describing a tight U-turn around his narrow forehead
"You need to go ho into the covers When he looked up there were tears in his eyes "She feels warm"
"She is war Goes with the breast-feeding Why are you crying?"
"You guys are so beautiful" He began arranging Rachel’s dark hair across the pillow, brought a long lock down over Sophie’s head, and started styling it into a baby hairpiece