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Chapter Seven

The List

While Jody showered, Tommy made a list

Feed

Laundry

New Apartment

Toothpaste

Sweet Monkey Love

Windex

Dispose of Vampire

Minion

"What do we need an onion for?" Jody asked She was having a little trouble getting her vision to focus

"Minion, minion," Tommy said

"Mint-flavored onion? Why do we need that?"

"Athe day who can help us out Like I was for you"

"Oh, my bitch"

Tommy dropped his list "Nuh-uh"

Jody picked it up and walked over to the kitchen counter where the coffeecup of joe"

"I was not your bitch," To do we have to do this list?"

"I checked the almanac Sunrise is at six fifty-three, so we have about twelve hours It’s alet a lot of darkness"

"Solstice? Oh ?"

"Hello? We have an excuse We’re dead"

"Myfor her that she’ll disapprove of And your fao home to Indiana for Christ to dry my hair," Jody said

The new list read:

Christmas Presents

Call Home

Feed

Minion (not our Bitch)

Hot Monkey Love

Windex

Write Literature

Dispose of Creepy Old Vampire

New Apartment

Laundry

Toothpaste

"I think you should take monkey love off of the list," Jody said "What if we lose the list and someone finds it?"

"Well I think ’dispose of Creepy Old Va, don’t you?"

"You’re right, cut e ’vampire’ to ’Elijah " Jody tapped the list with a pen "And take off Windex and put in ’buy coffee "

"We can’t drink coffee"

"We can smell it Toer, only, you know, er - "

"Yeah, you’d better move that up the list"

"And add a bottle of whiskey You’re going to have to buy it"

"Sorry, writer boy, but we’re doing this stupid list together"

"I’h to buy liquor"

Jody stepped away froht Isn’t it?"

"Yep," To to look wide-eyed and innocent

"Well, okay then I should have checked IDs before pickingto do with a bottle of whiskey anyway?"

"Check so else off the list," Tommy said "I have an idea Get your purse"

"What did the Anirand"

"I hope you told them to fuck themselves"

"They did that already"

"Did they suspect, you know, about what you are now?"

"Not yet Lash said I looked a little pale I sent theoodvae people to hunt thee people Funny Put self-tanning lotion on the list I think the pale thing is giving , three days before Christmas, Union Square ash in shoppers There was a Santa’s Village set up in the raised square, with a line of children and parents that wound five hundred deep through a labyrinth of red velvet cattle gates Around the square, the street performers, ould norranite steps up to the square A juggler here, a sleight-of-hand guy there, a half-dozen "robots" - people painted silver and gold ould move in machine-jerk rhythm for the drop of a coin or a bill - and even a couple of huuy in a business suit, who stood motionless for hours on end, as if he’d been frozen in midstep on the way to work There was a small hole in his briefcase into which people stuffed bills and dropped coins after photographing hiuy used to freakand the aura thing"

"I watched him for a whole lunch hour one time and he never moved," Jody said "In the su in that painted suit" Suddenly she shuddered at the thought of Elijah, the old vampire, still encased in bronze back at the loft Yes, he had killed her, technically, but in a way he’d just opened a door for her, a door that, no matter how bizarre, was immediate, vital, and passionate And yes, he’d done it for his amusement, he’d said, but also because he was lonely

She wound her arm into Tommy’s and kissed him on the cheek

"What was that for?"

"Because you’re here," she said "What’s first on the list?"

"Christmas presents"

"Skip down"

"Sweet monkey love"

"Yeah, we’ll do it in the Santa’s Workshopat Macy’s"

"Really?"

"No, not really"

"Okay, then we need liquor"

Jody snatched the list out of his hand so quickly that most people wouldn’t have even seen her etting me a new leather jacket"

I AM HOMELESS AND SOMEONE SHAVED MY HUGE CAT Willia Jody’s sweater He eyed the two vampires suspiciously as they approached

Tommy held the bottle of Johnny Walker out to William "Merry Christmas"

William took the liquor and squirreled it away in his coat "Most people just giveout thetoday?"

"Great, why? Really good, you know, considering that I’uys shaved ht"

"Yeah, but I feel great today"

"That’s how it used to affect "

Jody waved To?" Jody asked

"I was a little hungover when I woke up, but I was fine after a couple of cups of coffee"

"Fuck!" Jody spat Then she held her head

"Cal her shoulder "Dr Flood will h for Tommy to hear

"Ya know," said William, when there was a break in the pedestrian traffic and he didn’t have to concentrate on looking pathetic, "I’m flush for cash, but since you’re in the Christo for a look at Red’s hooters"

"Bite ," Jody said as she rolled up on Williaht the back of her newly purchased red leather jacket, just in case They’d never know if his idea was going to work if Jody snapped the bum’s neck

"I will not be sexually harassed by the entree"

"Sorinned at her when she looked back at him, but the fire went out of her eyes

"You can just cross sweet ht off your list," Jody said

"Jeez, what a bitch," said William "Her time of the month?"

Tommy quickly wrapped his arms around Jody, lifted her off her feet, and carried her a few steps around the corner, even as she squir to hurt hiht," Toht "Why don’t you head over to the Walgreens and I’ll finish up with the huge cat guy?"

A family of Christ they were young lovers indulging in a public display of affection The father whispered "Get a room" under his breath to his wife, which a normal person wouldn’t have heard

"Count your lucky stars, buddy, we almost did it in the Santa’s WorkshopHot, sweaty elf sex - in front of the kids The kids would have liked that, huh?"

The father hurried his family on down the street

"Nice," Jody said "Way to stay under the radar"

"Well, you know, I like to stay sharp," To sex regularly since he e that was unavailable to other people How can they possibly be thinking about anything else? he thought in the private part of his mind