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even got to see David alone

The day of the party she went to Houghton with Ahed a lot, got whistled at everywhere, and shopped until they were dizzy Gillian bought a dress and

ankle boots-both approved by Angel

When David picked her up that night, he let out a soft whistle himself

"I look okay?"

"You look" He shook his head "Illegal, but also sort of spiritual How do you do that?"

Gillian smiled

Macon the Wallet’s house was the house of a rich guy A fleet of artsy reindeerwith tiny lights graced the lawn Inside, it was all high ceilings and track

lighting, oriental rugs, old china, silver Gillian was dazzled

(My first real party! I mean, my first Popular Party And it’s even kind of, sort of for me)

(Your first real party, and it’s all for you The world is your oyster, kid Go out and crack it)

Macon was co Gillian paused in the doorway of the roo an entrance-and loving it

Her outfit was designer casual A black minidress with a pattern of purple flowers so dark it could hardly

be distinguished The soft, crepey hts And of

course the ankle boots Not much makeup; she’d decided on the fresh, soft look for her face She’d

darkened her lashes just enough tocontrast

She looked stunning and effortless And she knew it very well

Macon’s hooded eyes roved over her with so? You’re

looking good"

"We feel good," Gillian said, squeezing David’s arm

Macon’s eyes darkened He looked at the intersection of Gillian’s hand and David’s arm as if it offended

him

David looked back dispassionately, but a sort of wordless menace exuded from him Macon actually

took a step back But all he said was, "Well, one for the weekend, so make yourself at

home There should be food somewhere"

There was food everywhere Every kind ofall over

the house As they walked in, Cory greeted the fast"

When he’d said that he would round up a keg last week, Gillian had foolishlyof beer and everybody was drinking

And not just beer There were hard liquor bottles around One guy was lying on a table with his ular bottle into it

"Hey, Jill, this is for you" Cory was trying to give her a plastic glass with foa the top

Gillian looked at hiel’s help for this

"Thanks, but I happen to like my brain cells, Maybe if you had y"

There was laughter Even Cory laughed and winced

"Right on," Daryl the Rich Girl said, raising a can of diet Barq’s root beer to Gillian in salute And David

waved Cory away and reached for a Coke

Nobody tried to pressure theuy on the table even looked a little e off if you were cool enough, co of success wasthan liquor could have been

(How about that? Pretty good, huh? Huh? Huh?)

(Ohoh, yeah, fine) Angel seemed to deliberate (Of course, it does say, "Wine el, you’re so silly You sound like Cory!) Gillian al The e house with its opulent Christirls threw their arms around Gillian and kissed her as if they hadn’t seen her in weeks Some of

the boys tried, but David warned the everyone know she was together with David Blackburn, that he was

hers It put her status through the ceiling

"Want to look around?" David was saying "I can show you the upstairs; Macon doesn’t care"

Gillian looked at hi you alone for a fewcarpeted staircase lined with oil paintings The rooms upstairs were just as beautiful

as downstairs: palatial and al

It put Gillian in a quiet mood The ave her the feeling

of being in a museum

She looked out ato see velvet darkness punctuated by little twinkling lights

"You know, I’lad you didn’t want to drink back there" David’s voice behind her was quiet

She turned, trying to read his face "But you were surprised?"

"Well-it’s just sometimes now you seem so adult Sort of worldly"

"Me? I mean-I mean you’re the one who seeirls, she thought

He looked away and laughed "Oh, yeah The tough guy The wild guy Tanya and I used to party pretty

hard" He shrugged "I’et through life I don’t look for

trouble I try to run froh herself at that But there was so serious in David’s dark eyes

"I ad s that

I’e that-if it’s possible"

"Sort of like a whole new side of you that wants to colanced up and down her and grinned "Yeah Sort of like that"

Gillian felt suddenly inspired, hopeful "I think," she said slowly, trying to put her ideas together, "that

sometimes people need to-to express both sides of themselves And then they can bewell, whole"

"Yeah If that’s possible" He hesitated Gillian didn’t say anything, because she had the feeling that he

was trying to That there was soht her up to talk to her alone

"Well You know so weird?" he said after a moment "I don’t feel exactly whole And the truth

is-" He looked around the darkened room Gillian could only see his profile He shook his head, then

took a deep breath "Okay, this is going to sound even duot to say it I

can’t help it"

He turned back, toward her and said with a y, "And since that day

when I found you out there in the snow, I have this feeling that I won’t be, without " He trailed off and

shrugged "Well-you," he said finally, helplessly

The universe was one enor it She said slowly, "I "

"I know I kno it sounds I’m sorry"

"No," Gillian whispered "That wasn’t what I was going to say"

He’d turned sharply away to glare at thehe turned halfway back and she saw the gli to say, I understand"

He looked as if he were afraid to believe "Yeah, but do you really?"

"I think I do-really"

And then he wasup her arms Literally as if drawn to do

it-but not just by "physical attraction It sounded crazy, Gillian thought, but it wasn’t physical so ether

David was holding her It felt incredibly strange and at the same time perfectly natural He ar, her head drifting to his shoulder Such a si

The feelings inside Gillian were like a wonderful discovery And she had the sense that she was on the

verge of some other discovery, that if she just opened her eyes and looked into David’s at this e in the world

(Kid?) The voice in Gillian’s ear was quiet (I really hate to say it, but I have to break this up You have

to sidle down to the master bedroom)

Gillian scarcely heard and couldn’t pay attention

(Gillian! Ion that you have to know about)

(Angel?)

(Tell him you’ll be back in a few nore that tone of urgency Gillian stirred "David, I have to go for a sec Be right

back"

David just nodded "Sure" It was Gillian who had trouble letting go of his hand, and when she did she

still seeel) She blinked in the light of the hallway

(Go down to the end of the hall That’s the ht)

The e di elephants

Gillian walked in and ied into a piece of heavy furniture

(Be careful! See that light over there?)

Light was showing around the edges of double doors on the other side of the room The doors were

closed

(And locked That’s the bathroom Now, here’s what I want you to do Walk carefully over to the right

of the bathroom and you’ll find another door It’s the closet I want you to quietly open that door and get

in it)

(What?)

Angel’s voice was elaborately patient (Get in the closet and put your ear against the wall)

Gillian shut her eyes Then, feeling exactly like a burglar, she slowly turned the handle of the closet door

It was a walk-in closet, very long but stuffy because of the clothes bristling fro of intrusion, of being an invader of privacy She seeel stopped her

(Okay Here Now put your ear against the left wall)

Eyes still shut-it seemed to make the absolute darknesssheathed in plastic and so her on

either side, she leaned her head until her bare ear touched wood

(Angel, I can’t believe I’ this I feel really stupid, and I’m scared, and if anybody finds me-)

(Just listen, will you?)

At first Gillian’s heart seemed to drown out all other sounds But then, faint but clear, she heard two

voices she recognized