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"Will I make the two of you disappear?" Dervish asks innocently

"Yeah!" Bill-E gasps, face lighting up - then curses as Dervish shoos us out of the room and slams the door shut behind us

The hall of portraits Bill-E knows the faces and na round I listen with pretend politeness, only paying attention to the occasional juicy snippet

"Urszula Garadex - pirate," Bill-E intones, tapping the frae canvas portrait The woers are ht "A cutthroat Utterly ustine Grady Servant to soot kicked in the head by a horse

"Justin Plunkton - a banker Nothing interesting about hiers and if he kno they died

"Dervish doesn&039;t say much about them," he replies "I think it&039;s soo toes-up any day now"

"I&039;ll try hard to take you with me," I retort

We come to Dad and Gret Bill-E pauses curiously "These are new I don&039;t knoho - "

"My dad and sister," I inforuessed Sorry" He looks at ly, licks his lips, stares back at the photos

"An unasked question is thein the world," I prod his," he notes Licks his lips again "Do you want to tell me how they died, or is it a secret? I asked Dervish, but he won&039;t say, and Gran and Grandad don&039;t know - nobody in the village does"

My sto, a hell-child, their eerie master "They were murdered"

Bill-E&039;s eyes widen His lazy left eyelid snaps up as though on elastic bands "No bull?" he gasps

My expression&039;s dark "No bull"

"Do you knoho did it?"

"I was there"

Bill-E gulps deeply "When they were being killed?"

"Yes"

"How&039;d you get away?"

I consider how much I should tell him Decide to try him with the truth "They were ic"

He frowns "If this is a joke" Stops when he sees my face "Does Dervish know?"

"Yes"

"He believes you?"

"Yes But he&039;s the only one Everybody else thinks I&039;runts dismissively "If Dervish believes you, so do I" He turns fro weird words

"What was that for?" I ask, bemused

"One of Dervish&039;s spells," he says "It makes the dead smile Dervish says it&039;s important to keep the dead happy The reason this house isn&039;t haunted is that Dervish keeps its ghosts laughing"

"Rot!" I bellow

"Maybe," Bill-E grins "But I&039;ve been dancing for years and never been bothered by ghosts Why stop now and run the risk?"

We watch MTV on the 55 inch widescreen TV,coke from tall paper cups just like in the cines, the remote control balanced on his left knee "Dervish resisted to begin with, but I kept on at hiht one"

"Does he always cave in to your dehs "I can wrap Gran and Grandad round ot the TV because I convinced hiood use out of it even if he didn&039;t"

"You and Dervish are close, aren&039;t you?" I note

"Step aside, Sherlock Holmes - there&039;s a new kid in town!" Bill-E chuckles, rolling his eyes

"I don&039;t want to like get between you or anything," I mumble aardly

"You couldn&039;t if you tried," he responds sly

"I could!" I bristle "He&039;s hs "He&039;s my father!"

I stare at him, stunned

Bill-E looks sheepish "I shouldn&039;t have said that," he mutters "You won&039;t tell him, will you?"

"No but I mean" I catch my breath "You said you didn&039;t know your father!"

"I don&039;t," he says "Not officially But it hardly takes a genius to work it out He wouldn&039;t invite me over and make such a fuss of me if eren&039;t related And Gran and Grandad Spleen wouldn&039;t tolerate his involvement unless they had to, no matter how close a friend of Muic

"Have you ever asked hiet along great the e are If the truth ever caht decide to sue for custody"

"Wouldn&039;t you like that?" I ask

He shrugs "I wouldn&039;t miss Gran and Grandad that o and see theht take out a court order to stop hi me I reckon they struck a deal with hias he never told ht screw up everything"

I scratchthat over It all seems a bit complicated to o in for such subterfuge But I&039;m new on the scene Bill-E has spent uess he knohat he&039;s talking about

"This makes us cousins - if it&039;s true," I note

"Yeah," Bill-E giggles, then pokes htful heir, so don&039;t go getting too attached to this place, Grady, because as soon as the old h, and dump the last of my popcorn over Bill-E&039;s head

"Hey!" Bill-E shouts, shaking kernels from his head, all over the couch and floor "Clean that up!"

"You clean it," I grin wickedly "It&039;s your house"

Both of us laughing, he chasesfistfuls of popcorn at my head all the way