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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am only the first step in the creation of this book Many other people helped in different capacities along the way: Anastasia Luettecke, who taught me about Roman names; Dr Ed Uthman, who helps me with medical stuff; Victoria and Debi, my continuity entle co many an error; Paula Woldan, whose help and friendship keep ; Lisa Desimini, the cover artist; Jodi Rosoff,editor; and my Mod Squad: Michele, Victoria, Kerri, MariCarmen, and Lindsay (current), and Debi, Beverly, and Katie (retired)

MARCH

THE FIRST WEEK

"I feel bad that I&039; you like this," Amelia said Her eyes were puffy and red They&039;d been that way, off and on, ever since Tray Dawson&039;s funeral

"You have to do what you have to do," I said, giving her a very bright srief roiling around Amelia&039;s mind in a ball of darkness "I&039; cheerfully along, but I couldn&039;t see okay, and the holes are all filled in See how much better?" I pulled down my jeans waistband to show her a spot that had been bitten out The teeth h the skin wasn&039;t quite s flesh If I hadn&039;t had a huge dose of vampire blood, the scar would&039;ve looked like a shark had bitten lanced down and hastily away, as if she couldn&039;t bear to see the evidence of the attack "It&039;s just that Octavia keeps e- ment from the witches&039; council, or what&039;s left of it," she said in a rush "And I need to check all the repairs to ain, and people returning and rebuilding, the ic store&039;s reopened I can work there part-ti here, since Tray died "

"Believe one over this a few ti to catch my eyes

She really didn&039;t bla me the truth

Even I didn&039;t totally blame myself, somewhat to my surprise

It was true that Tray Dawson, Amelia&039;s lover and a Were, had been killed while he&039;d been acting as uard from the Were pack nearestHowever, I&039;d been present at the death of Tray Dawson at the hands of a sielding fairy, and I kneas responsible

So I didn&039;t feel guilty, exactly But I felt heartsick about losing Tray, on top of all the other horrors My cousin Claudine, a full-blooded fairy, had also died in the Fae War, and since she&039;d been odmother, I nant

I had a lot of pain and regret of all kinds, physical and mental While Amelia carried an ar myself Then I braced my shoulders and lifted a box of bathroom odds and ends I descended the stairs carefully and slowly, and Ithe clothes across the boxes already stowed in her trunk "You shouldn&039;t be doing that!" she said, all anxious concern "You&039;re not healed yet"

"I&039;m fine"

"Not hardly You always jump when someone comes into the room and surprises you, and I can tell your wrists hurt," she said She grabbed the box and slid it into the backseat "You still favor that left leg, and you still ache when it rains Despite all that vaet better As time passes, it won&039;t be so fresh and at the front of , it was that people could bury the h time and distraction) "The blood is not just any va stuff And my wrists are a lot better" I didn&039;taround in them like hot snakes just at this htly for several hours Dr Ludwig, physician to the supernatural, had told me the nerves - and the wrists - would be back to nor of the blood " A she kneouldn&039;t like Since I heard it before she actually voiced it, I was able to brace ht aboutSookie, you didn&039;t ask me, but I think you better not have any more of Eric&039;s blood I ot to think about the consequences Soet flipped by accident It&039;s not like it&039;s a h I appreciated Amelia&039;s concern, she&039;d trespassed into private territory "We don&039;t swap," I said Much "He just has a sip from me at, you knowthe happya lotthe bedroo, that male would be Eric

A for "At least " She turned aithout finishing the sentence, but she was thinking, At least you feel like having sex

I didn&039;t so ht to keep trying to enjoy it, but I definitely didn&039;t want to discuss that My ability to cast aside control, which is the key to good sex, had been pinched out of existence during the torture I&039;d been absolutely helpless I could only hope that I&039;d recover in that area, too I knew Eric could feel my lack of completion He&039;d asked e in sex Nearly every ti on the bicycle theory Yes, I&039;d fallen off But I was alilling to try to ride it again

"So, how&039;s the relationship doing?" she said "Aside fro was in A the ot into her car and drove away

It was only pride that was keepingalong pretty well," I said with a great effort at sounding cheerful "I&039;m still not sure what I feel as opposed to what the bond isme feel" It was kind of nice to be able to talk about ular oldthe Fae War, Eric and I had established what the vaed blood several tieneral location and his s about me He was always faintly present in the back ofon a fan or an air filter to provide a little buzz of noise that would help you get to sleep (It was good for me that Eric slept all day, because I could be by myself at least part of the tiht?) It wasn&039;t like I heard voices in- at least no more than usual But if I felt happy, I had to check to make sure it was er; Eric was big on anger, controlled and carefully banked anger, especially lately Maybe he was getting that froer otten all about Ah of depression

She snappedfat excuse," she said tartly "Come on, Sookie You love hi about it by bla on your bond Wah, ah If you hate the bond so et free of it?" She took in the expression on my face, and the irritation faded out of her own "Do you want me to ask Octavia?" she asked in a milder voice "If anyone would know, she would"

"Yes, I&039;d like to find out," I said, after a uess I&039;ve been so depressed I&039;ve put offon the ones I&039;ve already made Eric&039;s one of a kind But I find hi personality, and he was used to being the big fish in the pond He also knew he had infinite tiht that up yet, but sooner or later, he would

"Overwhel or not, I love hiuess that&039;s the bottouess it is" Amelia tried to smile at me, but it was a woeful atte" She stood for a moment, her expression frozen into the half set on the road My dad&039;s expecting et back to New Orleans"

Amelia&039;s dad was rich, powerful, and had no belief in A not to respect her witchcraft Amelia had been born with the potential for the power in her, as every true witch is Once A to be really scary - scary on purpose, rather than because of the drastic nature of her ram in place to develop and train Amelia&039;s talent

After I waved Amelia down the driveway, the broad smile dropped from my face I sat on the porch steps and cried It didn&039;t take much for me to be in tears these days, and er now There was so much to weep about

My sister-in-law, Crystal, had been murdered My brother&039;s friend Mel had been executed Tray and Claudine and Clancy the vampire had been killed in the line of duty Since both Crystal and Claudine had been pregnant, that added two more deaths to the list

Probably that should haveinto the Bon Tee that there were plenty of people I wanted dead I wasn&039;t directly responsible for most of the deaths that were scattered inthat none of them would have happened if it weren&039;t for me In my darkest moments - and this was one of them - I wondered if my life orth the price that had been paid for it

MARCH

THE END OF THE FIRST WEEK

My cousin Claude was sitting on the front porch when I got up on a cloudy, briska few days after Amelia&039;s departure Claude wasn&039;t as skilled at randfather Niall was Because Claude was fae, I couldn&039;t read his mind - but I could tell his mind was there, if that isn&039;t too obscure a way to put it I carried h the air was nippy, because drinking that first cup on the porch had been one of s to do before Ibefore the Fae War

I hadn&039;t seenthe Fae War, and he hadn&039;t contacted ht an extrafor Claude, and I handed it to him He accepted it silently I&039;d considered the possibility he ht throw it in my face His unexpected presence had knocked me off course I had no idea what to expect The breeze lifted his long black hair, tossed it around like rippling ebony ribbons His caramel eyes were red-rimmed

"How did she die?" he said

I sat on the top step "I didn&039;t see it," I said, hunching overas a hospital I think Claudine was trying to stop the other fairies froet into the room where I was holed up with Bill and Eric and Tray" I looked over at Claude to make sure he knew the place, and he nodded "I&039;m pretty sure that it was Breandan who killed her, because one of her knitting needles was stuck in his shoulder when he busted into our roorandfather&039;s enemy, had also been a prince of the fae Breandan had believed that humans and the fae should not consort He&039;d believed that to the point of fanaticism He&039;d wanted the fae to completely abstain from their forays into the hue financial stake in mundane commerce and the products it had producedproducts that helped them blend into the modern world Breandan had especially hated the occasional taking of huence, and he&039;d hated the children born as a result of such liaisons He&039;d wanted the fae separate, walled away into their oorld, consorting only with their own kind

Oddly enough, that&039;s whatthe fairy who believed in this apartheid policy After all the bloodshed, Niall concluded that peace a the fae and safety for humans could be reached only if the fae blocked themselves into their world Breandan had achieved his ends by his own death In ht that Niall&039;s final decision hadyou," Claude said, pullingin his voice Not blaer, not a question

"Yeah" That had been part of her job, defendingsip of coffee Claude&039;s sat untouched on the ar if he should kill

"You knew about the pregnancy," he said finally

"She toldand wrapped my arms around my knees I waited for the blow to fall At first I didn&039;t mind all that much, which was even more horrible

Claude said, "I understand Neave and Lochlan had hold of you Is that why you&039;re liuard

"Yeah," I said "They had me for a couple of hours Niall and Bill Compton killed them Just so you know - it was Bill who killed Breandan, with h the trowel had been in my family&039;s toolshed for decades, I associated it with Gran

Claude sat, beautiful and unreadable, for a long time He never looked at me directly nor drank his coffee When he&039;d reached so down the driveway toward Hubird Road I don&039;t knohere his car was parked For all I knew, he&039;d walked all the way froic carpet I went into the house, sank to ht inside the door, and cried My hands were shaking My wrists ached

The whole ti for him to make his move

I realized I wanted to live

MARCH

THE SECOND WEEK

JB said, "Raise your arm all the way up, Sookie!" His handso the five-pound weight, I slowly lifted ht

"Okay, now the legs," JB said, whenwith strain JB wasn&039;t a licensed physical therapist, but he was a personal trainer, so he&039;d had practical experience helping people get over various injuries Maybe he&039;d never faced an assortment like mine, since I&039;d been bitten, cut, and tortured But I hadn&039;t had to explain the details to JB, and he wouldn&039;t notice that my injuries were far from typical of those incurred in a car accident I didn&039;t want any speculation going around Bon Temps about my physical proble, who looked suspiciously like a hobbit, and I enlisted the help of JB du Rone, as a good trainer but dumb as a box of rocks

JB&039;s wife, ht benches She was reading What to Expect When You&039;re Expecting Tara, alnant, was determined to be the bestbut not bright, Tara was assu the role of Most Responsible Parent She&039;d earned her high school spending ave her so as she turned the pages, a look familiar to me from our school years

"Have you picked a doctor yet?" I said, after I&039;d finished ed one in ym where JB worked, and it was after hours, because I wasn&039;t a ey, new fee

"I think so," said Tara "There were four choices in this area, and we interviewed all of them I&039;ve had my first appointment with Dr Dinwiddie, here in Clarice I know it&039;s a little hospital, but I&039;h risk, and it&039;s so close"

Clarice was just a few et froood things about hi stuff start to slide around inside my head My forehead broke out in a cla of myself as a fit woman, and mostly I&039;d been a happy one There were days nohen it was all I could do to get out of bed and get in to work

"Sook," JB said, "look at the weight on here" He was grinning at istered that I&039;d done ten extensions with ten

I s, but I knew I&039;d done soood

"Maybe you&039;ll babysit for us sometime," Tara said "We&039;ll teach the baby to call you Aunt Sookie"

I&039;d be a courtesy aunt I&039;d get to take care of a baby They trustedon a future

MARCH

THE SAME WEEK

I spent the next night with Eric As I did at least three or four ti, filled with terror, completely at sea I held on to him as if the storm would sweepwhen I woke It wasn&039;t the first time this had happened, but this time he ith me, bloody tears that streaked the whiteness of his face in a startling way

"Don&039;t," I begged hi so hard to act like my old self when I ith hiht I could feel his resolve Eric had so to tell me whether I wanted to listen or not

"I could feel your fear and your pain that night," he said, in a choked voice "But I couldn&039;t co I had been waiting to learn "Why not?" I said, trying very hard to keep my voice level This may seem incredible, but I had been in such shaky condition I hadn&039;t dared to ask him

"Victor wouldn&039;t let me leave," he said Victor Madden was Eric&039;s boss; he&039;d been appointed by Felipe de Castro, King of Nevada, to oversee the conquered kingdom of Louisiana

My initial reaction to Eric&039;s explanation was bitter disappointment I&039;d heard this story before A vampire oing back to his maker, Lorena, revisited "Sure," I said I turned over and lay withmisery of disillusionment I decided to pull athered the energy The tension, the frustration, the rage in Eric was sapping me

"Victor&039;s people chained me with silver," Eric said behind me "It burned me everywhere"

"Literally" I tried not to sound as skeptical as I felt

"Yes, literally I knew sotasia that night, as if he knew ahead of time he should be there When Bill called to tell ed to call Niall before three of Victor&039;s people chained me to the wall When I - protested - Victor said he couldn&039;t allow me to take sides in the Fae War He said that no et involved"

Rage h , icy stream He resumed his story in a choked voice

"Pah they didn&039;t chain her" Pam was Eric&039;s second-in-conore Victor&039;s phone es Niall met Bill at your house to track you Bill had heard of Lochlan and Neave We all had We knew time would run out for you" I still hadto er, desperation

"How did you get out of the chains?" I asked the dark

"I reminded Victor that Felipe had promised you protection, promised it to you personally Victor pretended not to believe ainst the pillows "Soh to reh they wouldn&039;t defy Victor to his face, behind his back they let Pa When she had Felipe on the line, she explained to him that you and I had married Then she demanded Victor take the telephone and talk to Felipe Victor didn&039;t dare to refuse Felipe ordered Victor to letof Nevada, Louisiana, and Arkansas He was powerful, old, and very crafty And he owed s eternal

"There&039;s the rub," Eric said So honey had read Shakespeare "Victor claie" Even if I sory Victor had been sitting right there in Eric&039;s office when I&039;d handed the cerenorance that ht have been ignorant, but Victor certainly wasn&039;t "Victor told our king that I was lying in an attempt to save my human lover from the fae He said vampire lives must not be lost in the rescue of a human He told Felipe that he hadn&039;t believed Pam and me e&039;d told him Felipe had proebert"

I rolled over to face Eric, and the bit ofin thepainted him in shades of dark and silver In my brief experience of the powerful vareat power, Felipe was absolutely no fool "Incredible Why didn&039;t Felipe kill Victor?" I asked

"I&039;ve given that a lot of thought, of course I think Felipe has to pretend he believes Victor I think Felipe realizes that in e of the whole state of Louisiana, he has inflated Victor&039;s ambitions to the point of indecency"

It was possible to look at Eric objectively, I discovered, while I was thinking over what he&039;d said My trust had gotten et too close to the fire this ti to enjoy laughing with Eric or to look forward to the ti to trust hiht now

"You were upset when you came to the hospital," I said indirectly When I&039;d wakened in the old factory Dr Ludas using as a field hospital, ht prove easier than living Bill, who had saved me, had been poisoned with a bite from Neave&039;s silver teeth His survival had been up in the air The mortally wounded Tray Dawson, Ah to die by the shen Breandan&039;s forces stormed the hospital

"While you ith Neave and Lochlan, I suffered with you," he said,my eyes directly "I hurt with you I bled with you - not only because we&039;re bonded, but because of the love I have for you"

I raised a skeptical eyebrow I couldn&039;t help it, though I could feel that heto believe that Eric would have co to believe that he&039;d heard the echo of the horror of my time with the fae torturers

But ht have felt them, but from a separate place "I believe you would have been there if you could have," I said, knowing my voice was too calm "I really do believe that I know you would have killed the hand pressed my face to his chest

I couldn&039;t deny that I felt better since he&039;d brought himself to tell me Yet I didn&039;t feel as h now I knehy he hadn&039;t co for hi for him to tell me Helplessness was a state Eric didn&039;t often encounter Eric was supernatural, and he was incredibly strong, and he was a great fighter But he was not a superhero, and he couldn&039;t overcome several deterivenfro inside ic of his story I believed him in my heart, not just in my head

A red tear fell on er, puttinghis pain back to him I had plenty of my own

"I think we need to kill Victor," I said, and his eyesEric

MARCH

THE THIRD WEEK

"So," my brother said "As you can tell,with his back toin a folding chair, looking out over the large pond and its dock It was a beautiful evening, cool and brisk I was actually content to sit there and watch hi with Jason Michele was in the houseTravis Tritt

"I&039;lad," I said, and I was sincere It was the first ti with h his own bad tied wife and their unborn child had died horribly He&039;d discovered his best male friend had been in love with hi, listened to his girlfriend singing inside the house, I understood that Jason was a great survivor Here ain, pleased at the prospect of eating steak and the ht and the salad Michele wasI had to admire Jason&039;s determination to find pleasure in his life My brother was not a very good role ers

"Michele is a good woh ran would have used the ter You couldn&039;t sha she wouldn&039;t own up to Operating on the sarievance with you, you knew about it She worked in the Ford dealership&039;s repair shop as a scheduler and clerk It was a tribute to her efficiency that she still worked for her former father-in-law (In fact, he&039;d been known to say he liked her a tad better than he liked his son, so the jeans and Ford-logo polo shirt she wore to work, and her dark hair isted in a knot on her head Michele liked heavy eye h heels She was barefoot now "Hey, Sookie, you like ranch dressing?" she asked "Or we got some honey mustard"

"Ranch will be fine," I said "You need any help?"

"Nope, I&039;ood" Michele&039;s cell phone went off "Daain That man can&039;t find his ass with both hands"

She went back in the house, the phone to her ear

"I worry, though, about putting her in danger," Jason said in the diffident voice he used when he was askingsupernatural "I meanthat fairy, Dermot, the one that looks like me Do you know if he&039;s still around?"

He&039;d turned to faceof the deck he&039;d added to the houseJason Mootten to enjoy it for much more than a decade They&039;d died when I was seven, and when Jason had gotten old enough to live on his own (in his estimation), he&039;d moved out of Gran&039;s and into this house It had seen many a wild party for two or three years, but he&039;d becoht it was very clear to me that his recent losses had sobered him further

I took a s from my bottle I wasn&039;t ence at work - but it had been i "I wish I knehere Dermot was, too," I said Derrandfather Fintan "Niall sealed himself into Faery with all the other fairies anted to join hiers crossed that Dermot&039;s in Faery with hio" Niall was our great-grandfather Claude was his grandson froe to another full fae

"Claude, the male stripper"

"The owner of a strip club, who strips hiht," I corrected "Our cousin irls faint when he walks by Michele&039;s got a book with hienie costume He must love every minute of it" Jason definitely sounded envious

"I bet he does You know, he&039;s a pain in the butt," I said, and laughed, surprising ot hurt But when I picked up the mail yesterday, he&039;d sent ans"

"You think you&039;ll ever take him up on it?"