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"So this is li around I wasn&039;t much impressed

"The word &039;liions to express the concept of the Akasha, so," the small boy next to me said as alked down a rocky hillside He waved his hand at the sparse landscape around us "The Akasha is more than limbo It is a place few visit, and fros do people have to do to get sent here?"

The boy&039;s face gave away no e The ultiranted respite from its confines to only three people"

"Only three in that ht, so note to self - don&039;t do anything to piss the h to be sent here"

"That would be a very wise policy to follow If you would walk this way"

I obligingly followed hih a rocky stretch that led to a faint path "The last thing I re I had to die Are you i that I&039;m dead?"

He tipped his head to the side for a"Do you feel dead?"

"No I feel annoyed" Ahead of us, in a shallow valley, a large outcropping of rock jutted out of the earth The hipped around us, cutting throughmy flesh with tiny little whips of pain "And cold What are we doing here?"

"This is the site of your trial As you ih the purity of so"

I stuas we sloound our way through the deserted valley floor toward it "So you decided on a trial by endurance, is that it? If I make it to those rocks there in one piece, I pass the trial?"

To my complete surprise, the boy nodded his head "Yes That&039;s it exactly"

I slid a few feet down a graveled slope, led to !"

"No, indeed I&039;m not" He stopped next to a spiky, stunted, leafless shrub, and nodded toward the outcropping "I can take you no further The rest of this trial you oal Good luck, Portia Harding"

The unspoken words, "You&039;re going to need it," hung in the air, but I ignored them as I eyeballed the rocks approximately three hundred feet away I decided a little mental support was in order, and reached out my mind to Theo I&039;htened by this They can&039;t do anything to permanently harm me, can they?

The as all the answer I had

Theo? Are you there?

My words evaporated into nothing It was as if he didn&039;t exist

"Why can&039;t I talk to Theo?" I asked the boy

He see to ouris not possible in the Akasha"

"Lovely So, I just walk there? That&039;s all I do?"

"Yes Once you reach the circle of Akasha, the trial will be over"

"And I&039;ll be sent back to the Court?" Soht here It couldn&039;t be this easy Could it?

"That depends on you," he said enigmatically

I opened mywould do nothing but give me a case of exposure in this horrible cold I rubbed my hands on my arms briskly, nodded, and took four steps forward

Froed They were black and curiously flat as their silhouettes stood starkly against the white stones At the sight of the, and I found myself suddenly drenched in a cold sweat

"Uhwho are they?" I asked over my shoulder

The boy smiled, his eyes sad "Hashmallim"

Hashmallim The word struck a chord of dread deep inside of er to Sarah and ht up to a couple of them anddo what? Talk to them?

"What do they want? Why are they there? A with them?"

"You must walk to the center of the circle of Akasha," the boy repeated "The trial will be over if you do that"

I sed down a thick lump of fear "I don&039;t suppose there&039;s an alternative to this trial?"

He didn&039;t answer

"There never is," Ia deep breath as I tried to callance overhead confused me - where was my friendly little cloud that rained down destruction on those who angered me?

"Your Gift has no power here," the boy answered, just as if I had asked the question out loud "I should add that there is a time limit to this trial You have exactly two ht of those three black figures standing next to the rocks dried up the co in their intensity, washed over ain

"Let&039;s reason this through," I told ures as I slowly approached the noticeably as the seconds ticked by "Given the premise that virtues exist, we must conclude that other people have passed these trials, thus they can&039;t be lethal"

"Only mortals must pass the trials," the boy called after me "Immortals simply apply, and are interviewed for the positions"

"Not helping!" I yelled back, hts sour as I forced myself to take another step The sense of dread increased with each footstep, swae that I was doomed, Theo was doomed, everyone I ever knew or loved was dooround and sob myself into insensitivity, that certain was I that it was all for nothing

"Get a grip, Portia," I lecturedwith the bile that wanted to rise as I watched the three black figures getting closer What I thought were three people standing in silhouette turned out to be partly correct - they were people-shaped silhouettesbut nothingin shadow They weren&039;t darkened versions of people, with vaguely discernable features No, the Hashmallim were just inky black voids, as if they were two-dimensional representations of people They were all thefor the impossibility of their appearance "There are approximately twenty steps left You can do it one step at a time"

I took another six steps forward, then froze into place at the sure knowledge that I was going todown the mass of emotions that roiled inside me "This can&039;t be lethal It&039;s just an illusion, like so s I&039;d believed to be illusions had turned out to be real, ued with "

"Yeah, yeah"

Ahead of ures looht?

"You&039;re not so bad," I yelled at the three presences I wrapped my arms around my waist and made hten her than I look! So you can put that in your big, scary pipes and smoke it!"

The rocks loo footsteps I panted with the effort to keep fros about self-preservation I ignored the another couple of steps forward until just a few yards separated the rocks and the Hash in opacity and shape, occasional gli into view before

I wanted to run as far away as possible I wanted to cry and curl up into a fetal ball I wanted it all to go away

I wanted Theo

The Hashh the stones

"What do I do now?" I yelled to the boy

"Siru to keep my feet pointed toward the horrors in front ofsimple about this I doubt if the word exists around here"

I took another step forward The nearest Hash , terror, and a hundred other e for death

"Ican pass by the Hashmallim," the boy called towind "Those who are not pure"

"Sweet sanity, he couldn&039;t have mentioned that earlier?" I took a deep breath, reat that my teeth chattered as I yelled back, "What happens to them?"

"They do not leave"

A thousand and one sins flashed before s I&039;d done inwith a favorite toy I refused to share with a childhood friend, and ending with the loss of Theo&039;s soul Was I now being called to account for the in that place for eternity was al me to my knees, but just as I was convinced I couldn&039;t do it, that I couldn&039;t pass by the three Hash at a silly joke, Theo&039;s face tight with passion as he found his release, Theo sleepy and adorable and so endearing it made tears prick behind ain

Theo loved me I knew he did; I felt it in the soft touches of his ainst mine And as more, at that moment I kneith the certainty that I knew the Greisen-Zatsepin-Kuzmin limit was 5 x 1019 electron volts that I loved Theo with every molecule in my body Surely I couldn&039;t love so so qualities?