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SIR HORACE

Guess who it was? No, not Aunt Tabby No, it wasn’t Uncle Drac, either It was Sir Horace "Goodvoice that came from somewhere inside his suit of aroose bu, Sir Horace, " I gulped

I considered e, but I didn’t think s would work very well Sir Horace looed away, as I didn’t give --since it was ether--and I could do without a rusty chunk of arht that perhaps I had better try and explain things I know explaining things doesn’t always help, especially if the person you are explaining to is Aunt Tabby, but I thought Sir Horace ht be different So I said in my best polite voice, "ErI’ht you were just aUm"

"A moldy old rust bucket, " Sir Horace fin- ished my sentence for me, which Aunt Tabby says is very rude "Ah" Ito re hiht he was a moldy old rust bucket, but I hadn’t expected hiht I had better check out the ghost situation with Sir Horace, so I asked hihost as well?" "As well as what?" he booht of the realhost of Sir Horace Harbinger of Hernia Hall, at your service " Hebow Three bolts fell from his neck and rat- tled down the stairs Wow That --ere the chances of that? Of course, it was typical, I thought I spend years looking for a ghost and then two co at once, and just as Aunt Tabby is about to throw me and Uncle Drac out of the house, too

But it all made sense to me now Sir Horace never stayed in the saht that Aunt Tabby ht as a sort of joke It would be just the sort of stupid joke that Aunt Tabby would like But now I under- stood--Sir Horace moved himself around "I’m really sorry about your hel not to remember how I had kicked it all the way down the stairs I hoped he didn’t remember either "Got a terrible headache, " said Sir Horace "Oh Yes, well I suppose you would have, " I said sy’s not too easy either, " he said We both looked down at his left foot, which was still jammed on back to front

"ErNo, I can see it ht not be, " I said in my best helpful voice "But"--he boomed and kind of rattled at the sa ood, " I told hias it flew off his neck and pinged onto the floor "And thisCycling thing, " he said For a moment I was confused, as I was sure I had never seen Sir Horace out on a bike And then I realized what he , " I told him "Do I ?" he boomed "Well, don’t like the -79- sound of it whatever it’s called Never did care for tins myself Impossible to open Can’t stand cat food " And then, with a horrible teeth-on- edge creaking noise, Sir Horace stood up as straight as he could--which was not very straight at all--and took a deep breath "So, " he boomed so loud that I was afraid Aunt Tabby would hear, "so reed "And I’ve got a really great idea I’ to do my Awful Ambush from the balcony and--" "From my balcony?" he interrupted "In my room?" Oops--so it was Sir Horace’s roo in there I could understand how he felt, as I don’t like Aunt Tabby going into any of es to ht to explain "I’m sorry, Sir Horace, but I found the key in your foot, and--" but he interrupted again "I know, " he said, wiggling his left foot about as though he had pins and needles in it--which I knew for sure he didn’t, as I had already emptied it out and all I had found was the key "I remember that very well I had my head back on by then " "I’m really sorry, " I said "Would you like your key back?" Sir Horace shook his head very slowly, and itnoise, like a pep-per mill

"Please keep the key, Miss Spookie, " he said "I would be very pleased for you to use my balcony for your Awful Ambush I one by They can be very effective I will ask e, Edmund, to assist you " Aha So that ho Edht "Thank you very much, Sir Horace, " I said "You are most welcome, Miss Spookie, " he replied, and bowed low "Careful!" I shouted, but it was too late Sir Horace’s head fell off and rolled along the corridor I caught it just as it started bounc- ing down the stairs, but unfortunately Aunt Tabby sawbelow

"Haven’t you put Sir Horace back together yet, Araminta?" she snapped at the same time as shespiders and people homeless "Nearly finished, Aunt Tabby, " I told her, and I rushed back to find Sir Horace He was sitting on the botto surprised Well, I think that was hoas looking, although it was hard to tell I put his head back on I was one on the right way as there was a little click when it settled onto his shoulders "Ooh, that’s better, " he said "That crick in one " He moved his head about, and it didn’t make the pepperon to the banister and heaved hiht, and he said, "Well, jolly good, then, Miss Spookie You do your aht ho And tell young Edmund I said to provide you with all necessary assistance Until we ain, Miss Spookie " He started to bow, but then he changed his mind

He walked away, kind of lurching fro and propped hiood day after all--a secret passage, two ghosts, and one Awful A up What could be better?