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SIR HORACE

Saturdaythe boiler-- again Usually I stay out of the hen Aunt Tabby goes anywhere near the boiler, but today was different I wanted to collect new supplies of flour forit soon, and Aunt Tabby keeps all her flour in the third-pantry- on-the-left-just-past-the-boiler-room

I had nearly passed the boiler room safely when Aunt Tabby looked up and sawto be trouble She had a big sooty scrubbing brush in her hand, and she had just kicked over a bucket of water I was right; she was trouble "Arao and put Sir Horace back together He has spent thole days in pieces now " Sir Horace? Since when has Aunt Tabby bothered about Sir Horace? "Do I have to?" I asked, annoyed I had better things to do than put a heap of rusty junk back together Why was Aunt Tabby always popping up when you least wanted to see her? "Yes, you do have to "

Aunt Tabby kicked the grate "There are so ant to buy the house, and I think a nice suit of arood impression People like suits of ar left nice and tidy, please! The people are coasped "But that doesn’t give h time to--" Oops "To what?" asked Aunt Tabby suspiciously, peering at h her sooty spectacles "ToErClean up my rooet a move on then, hadn’t you, dear?" said Aunt Tabby "And take that awful old helmet back up with you " I picked up Sir Horace’s helot out of Aunt Tabby’s way

Not ht Couldn’t they read the sign outside? I went out into the garden to see if Aunt Tabby had changed the sign, but she hadn’t It still said:This HAUNTED House Is -- NOT for Sale I didn’t understand it Why would anyone want to buy a haunted house? But just to n:

This HORRIBLE HAUNTED House Is -- NOT for Sale I dumped Sir Horace’s helmet on the floor in et to it by clih a small door, which keeps Aunt Tabby out The trouble was, the rest of Sir Horace still lay all over the floor ofall the pieces down the corridor and then throw theh the door

I aood shot, but I have to adh the door the first tiether and, while I orking out which arht about ht that maybe I would try the Molasses on the Doorknob with the Invisible Tripwire Plan, although it ht need the Slimebucket Surprise, too, just to Q et Sir Horace finished quickly, as Aunt Tabby was sure to coether There were even o back where they were meant to, noIt was nearly lunchtiether--all, that is, except for his left foot His left foot was just about thevery annoyed, so I told Sir Horace exactly hat "It’s all right for you, Sir Horace, you ot s to do

If I don’t get my Plans ready, then some really stupid peo- ple who can’t even read a perfectly obvious sign are going to buy this house, and ill have toto throw you in the recycling bin And then you’ll be taken away and squashed flat like a pancake and melted down and made into hundreds of tins--which will probably be filled up with cat food Ha-ha " By noas really annoyed with his left foot I banged it upside down on the floor and it rattled I shook it again, and then so happened--a small brass key fell out I could tell it was a very old key, as it orn quite smooth as if it had been in some- one’s pocket for hundreds of years But the -39- best part was that it had an old brown label tied to it, and on the label was so in very old-fashioned letters I could just about read what it said:

This be the keye to Balconie (Doth Fitt all Doors) "Balconie" was a funny word, and I won- dered what it round city Maybe, I thought, the key belonged to a treasure chest on a desert island called Balconie I said the word out loud toat my feet, and then I realized what Balconie was It was only the boring old balcony above the hall And ould want to go there?

Me! That’s who Suddenly I kneas the perfect place I could do my Awful Ambush from there And I’ve alanted to do an Awful A in it, and it would make the Slimebucket Surprise look like a Sunday school picnic Anyone coave one last shove to Sir Horace’s left foot and--yes!--it went back onto the end of his leg So what if it was on back to front? It didn’t seem to bother Sir Horace, and it certainly didn’t bother et to the balcony Of course, I knew there was only one answer to that--through a secret passage