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"There&039;s a zoe the Fiend informed me over breakfast His voice was a calm pond, and he wiped blond strands out of his face carefully as he peered at his knitting

"Sure there is," I replied My casual response was, I decided uy (va in the house owned by my best friend with at least three other people (twome what the proble about it, and I totally blew him off Were this a horror movie and I, Betsy Taylor, Queen of the Va this crap, everybody in the audience would have thrown their popcorn and Sno-Caps at the screen

But this wasn&039;t a movie, so I screwed up in an honest sort of way

Also, I was distracted, crow-like, by the big shiny thing onPretty silly for someone as supposedly alreadyfor the next thousand years) and officially engaged (to sa Sinclair to cough up a proposal had been hard enough I was still stunned he&039;d co fro involving blood-drinking, sex, a stop by Caribou Coffee for hot chocolate, and The Ring: a delightfully shiny gold band streith diamonds and rubies

I&039;d had to make a Herculean effort not to squeal when he slid it onto er (where it promptly slid off; I have freakishly small hands) Now here it was, a day later, and I couldn&039;t stop staring at the thing

Also, it wasn&039;t really breakfast, since neither George nor I were eating and it was eleven o&039;clock at night But we still called it breakfast, since that&039;s when Marc (the surgical resident) would often get up and have a e-well, actually, we learned his na-went back to the lovely baby blue afghan he was knitting, whichI, in turn, went back to the guest list Not forFor my surprise birthday party Which wasn&039;t a surprise at all, but I wasn&039;t telling

It was a short list My h) stepmother, Antonia; her BabyJon; my landlord, Jessica; my fiance, Eric Sinclair; Marc; my sister, Laura; Garrett&039;s hborhood police officer Nick; Sinclair&039;s friend Tina; former vampire hunter Jon; and of course Garrett Almost all of these people I had uests were dead people Even Marc, as alive, often put it, "Why not be dead? Most of my ex-boyfriends act like I a to fix hiuys we kneere not Marc&039;s type Not that we had any idea what Marc&039;s type was On top of that, fixing people up is hard Al not to drink blood

I tappedto co that I had decided to co the vaes-as it was, every vampire I&039;d ever known had to drink every day, even Eric But I could go up to a ithout so , without any shakes or desperate pleas for stray rats So in honor ofin this shit queen job for a year, I figured I&039;d give it up completely I would be in a blood-free zone!

But Eric would be tricky Nor our intiot bitten Sometimes more than once It squickedsex justbetter-

"La over my shoulder as she headed for the espressoa list of birthday presents Miss Manners would be rolling in her grave"

"Miss Manners is still alive Besides, it&039;s not a list of presents It&039;s a list of people you&039;re going to invite to orgeous skin the color of Godiva hed at me "Honey, it hurts me to say this Like a sliver in the eyeball But we&039;re not Planning A party"

"Although," I added, "you don&039;t have to try too hard to get the Ant there I wouldn&039;t ave up the espresso htly ritual-and fixed herself a glass of chocolate o: no party And we believed you So stopup It&039;s not happening"

"Are we talking about the nonexistent surprise party?" Tina asked, startling me as her bare feet slid noiselessly across the spotless sha bells around your pretty, petite ankles," I told her

Jessica had nearly choked on her drink, Tina had so startled her She took a breath and said, "She tells us our lives won&039;t be worth living if we throw her a party, then she uest list"

"Constancy, thy name is Queen Elizabeth," Tina murmured as she slid her tiny butt onto the breakfast nook bar stool next to George-da college student in creation, as usual-long blond curls, big pansy eyes, knee-length black skirt, white designer T-shirt, bare legs, black pue students nowadays hadn&039;t witnessed the Civil War, but undead boo of their perky tits

"What do you want for your birthday, Majesty?" she was asking elessas "best o Nowadays, instead of sucking his blood, she li edition of the Wall Street Journal, fixing his tea the way he liked it, and setting out gobs of paperwork for hih "So," I replied "I want peace on earth, goodwill toward men"

"Do they have a store for that at the mall?" Jessica asked innocently "Or ht next to the portrait artist and the guy selling T-shirts with pithy sex jokes?" She was sha peeks at the memos Tina laid out neatly on thethey don&039;t have," I said "Tina, Jessica, I know you I know I told you not to throw a party, and that therefore you will throw one But if you want to keep up the deceit-fine No party Instead, find a quiet lobal hardale&039;s"

"Or perhaps a pair of the new Prada loafers," Jessica added

"No, I&039; is here-I want some strappy sandals" Which was kind of silly-I couldn&039;t wear them with socks, and these days my extremities were pretty icy But still I was sick of winter, and this was Minnesota-we had at least two ht," Jess said "Because you don&039;t have enough of those"

"Why don&039;t you take one ofpairs and shove theested sweetly

"Well, Ms Taylor, why don&039;t you take your delicate ivory nose and-"

Tina interrupted the arguner shoes you don&039;t like?"

Garrett cleared his throat as he started a different stitch-knit, garter, crochet-it was all the same to me "She doesn&039;t care for Packard Shah sandals Especially the gold ones"

"This is true," I confirhts prop drawer I mean, what year is this? I&039;d pay two hundred bucks not to wear the my yelp and Jessica&039;s flinch He orse than Tina Where she slithered silently, he teleported like an alien A tall, broad-shouldered, dark-haired, dark-eyed, yummilicious alien "You have a thousand pairs of sandals"

"Do not Leave me alone and read your papers"

"Guest list?" he asked, leaning overat my pad "But you don&039;t want a party"