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The next evening, after feeding Babyjon his 10 p him into the playpen in the kitchen, I took the new phone out of the box (thank goodness for twenty-four-hour Walgreens)

I had literally just hooked up, and hung up, the phone when it rang, ht out of my skin I snatched up the new receiver

"What freak is calling me now?"

"Only I, Your Majesty"

"Tina! You sound tinny Still in France?" "Still And worse: I have been unable to raise the king"

Raise hiht "What?" I asked, my word of the week

"He has never, in seventy-sorarumpy when he left" "Grumpy" Tina let out aas when she earing like-well, me "I dislike this I dislike this extreht"

"But what about the European va the Besides, there&039;s not o, they&039;re quite terrified of you"

I smirked and buffed my nails on my purple tank top It was all the sweeter because it was true: they&039;d seen h for theonna pull that off? Isn&039;t it, like, a twenty-hour flight? Soht hours?"

"I&039;ll travel the traditional way, of course In a coffin in the cargo hold Our people here will forge a death certificate and other appropriate paperwork"

I shuddered and gave thanks, once again, that I was the queen, and not a run-of-the-; I&039;d prefer to be alive But if I had to be dead"Tina, that sucks"

"Recent circu would not leave you for so long -"

"It&039;s only been a few days-"

"-nor would he ignore "

"He doesn&039;t want to wear the navy blue tux I picked out?" I guessed

"Majesty This is serious"

I shrugged, forgetting she couldn&039;t see me "If you say so"

"Until I return, do not answer the door You will not try to contact anyone who has goneYou will not answer the phone unless the caller ID tells you it is eneral thinking fast and issuing orders "Your Majesty, do you understand me?"

"Uh, sure Siet a few heads on sticks And the devil pity the rat fuck who gets in ot it the first ti up