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I had heard the car turn in the drive, of course (sometimes I could hear a cricket fro to the door and listening to the increasingly frantic haressiveness, I opened my front door and immediately went for the kill "Thanks for all the support at the funeral, Mom Really helpful Why, with you there I didn&039;t feel like an orphan or anything! Having a shoulder to lean on and all was such a comfort"

My mother brushed by me, BabyCrap&8482; (an established property of Babyjon&8482;) in tow She s a blue sweater (in summertime!) and plum-colored slacks, with black flats Her mop of curls was even more a mess than usual

"By the way," I said cheerfully, "you look like dried up hell"

She ignored that "A funeral service is no place for an infant," she panted, struggling tothe kid wasn&039;t even a year old, and he had more possessions than I did

Mom thrust Babyjon at me and I bounced hiht have been pissed at her, but dalad to see him

"You missed a helluva party," I said dryly

"No doubt" Mom puffed white curls off her forehead "Your father was all about parties That&039;s why he was foolish enough to ingest ainto the back of a garbage truck with your stepmother"

Hey, they needed a break froed what I was thinking, and then shelved it Nope Too soon for jokes They&039;d only been in their graves for half an hour Maybe by tomorrow

"How are you holding up, dear?"

"Like you care!"

She scowled at h times in my own mirror? But I remained a stone "You&039;ve had a difficult day"

"And you&039;d know this how?"

"But my day hasn&039;t exactly been a day at the zoo, either So answerlady, or you&039;ll find you&039;re not too big to spank" This was laughable, since I could break ot the question," I admitted

"Hoas the funeral?"

"Besidesme in my most dire time of need?"

"I think your death was your most dire time of need," she corrected round now"

This was true, but I was in no ood-bye I know you didn&039;t like the at each other in the foyer? Maybe I was still too mad to make nicey-nice hostess, even to Mom, whom I usually adored How could I not adore sohter back from the dead with open arms? "Someone had to watch your son," she replied sharply "And it&039;s not as though you have no friends Where is everybody, anyway?" "The question of the day," I hting-she liked him, if possible, more than she liked me And she&039;d worry herself sick about Jessica And she didn&039;t know Marc or Laura that well, or the others at all

Then the full impact of her words hit me like a hammer upside the head "Someone had to watch my what?"

" Jon"

"What?"

She pointed athi of the will? Yesterday? Remember?"