Page 1 (1/2)

Chapter 1

"So, if I&039; this correctly, you&039;re a vampire now Not a secretary"

"Not an administrative assistant," I corrected automatically I mean, jeez! I knew Cooper was old and creaky, but what century did he think ere living in? (Or in ?)

"The important bit," Cooper went on, "is about the vampire"

"Well, yeah"

"And how you&039;re the queen of thehed and flopped into an airplane seat I examined the toes of my navy blue Cole Haan Penny Air Loafersnot a scratch so far "I guess some people would consider that an i"

"It&039;s bulleted and boldfaced Also, the date of your death is in italics, along with how you don&039;t have to urinate anymore"

"My pee or the lack thereof is nobody&039;s business!" I gnashed my teeth and added, "Give me that"

I snatched the memo away from Cooper so quickly, he didn&039;t seeair This startled hiasp, which we then both pretended I hadn&039;t heard That, I was learning, was va with huured it out after three years of being undead

There should be a class, you know Va with Humans 101 In another fifty years, I could teach the stupid thing

I scanned theto leap fro Jessica had sent hies!

To: Samuel Cooper

Frout churned

And the part aboutthe vampire queen was bulleted

"I can&039;t believe she sent you a memo"

"She always does And I send &039;ees You kno expensive fuel&039;s getting now that China&039;s buying all the oil? The EM ain&039;t cheap, you know" The EM: Jessica&039;s private joke It stood for Emancipated Minor

"And she sends her memos to me to keep me in the loop, don&039;t you know Seeh," he rotesque super-strength&039;?" Aghast, I kept reading as other blechy phrases leaped out at me " &039;Still obsessed with shoes but s&039;? That scrawny traitor, I&039;iven her any interest in any topic she cannot refer to in the first person&039; Why, that-okay, I can&039;t really argue with that last one, but she didn&039;t have to highlight it Look! It&039;s highlighted "

"So is &039;extreme narcissistic tendencies&039; In any case, I&039; of the Werewolves and make sure he doesn&039;t sic his pack on you"

"I think it&039;s pronounced Pack"

Cooper heard the capital P and nodded "Right This Pack, they&039;re pretty ticked? Because of that little gal Antonia?"

I nibbled on the inside of my lip, distressed, as always, by any mention of Antonia It had only been a week It didn&039;t still sting, as h the liver

See, poor Antonia was o hold, as all corpses flew In a plain wooden coffin, the lethal bullet holes all over her skull still not filled in by an undertaker My husband, Sinclair, and I had no idea olf funeral custoiven orders that her body simply be placed in a coffin and loaded onto Jessica&039;s private plane

We didn&039;t even wash her beautiful, dear face

But that was nothing compared to e did with Garrett&039;s body

"Look, Cooper, the i into So if you can&039;t fly us out there, or if you think you-"

"Bite your tongue,for Jessica Wilson since she was seven years old, don&039;t you know, and we&039;ve had hairy days and we&039;ve had hairy days"

"Cooper, I never, ever want to hear about your hair"

He ignored s-never mind, that&039;s private family business"

"Oh, come on, we&039;re best friends I mean, Jessica and me" I didn&039;t know if Cooper had any friends "There&039;s no way you know stuff that I don&039;t-"

Cooper ruthlessly interrupted ossip "This doesn&039;t scare me" He nodded at the memo, inadvertently crumpled in my fist "But I surely wish Miss Jessica had told me earlier"