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Laura carved a hole in the universe and the three of us stepped through it I realized so that both impressed and scared me: Laura didn&039;t have to smack o, she had to practically beat h a doorway to end up somewhere she couldn&039;t plan for

I noticed ere exactly where I wanted to go:on fast Scary-fast I was so glad she was on our side

"Well! That was stressful and weird and probably illegal, or at least immoral It was like a family reunion where nobody can find the booze Also, you are really getting the hang of this teleporting-around-the-ti"

"I&039;d better be" Laura sounded unaccustorim The confrontation, of course We&039;d been to hell and back (several times) and lived to tell the tale I&039;d be worried if she didn&039;t sound gri to have to learn and , just to tread water And we&039;re already behind"

"I know, I know" I didn&039;t, actually Behind what? Learn everything to tread water? Sure, whatever, your doctor told you not to ht? She picked the oddest tirim and determined Didn&039;t she know? It was over If this were a book, it&039;d be the end If it were athe hilarious outtakes while the audience surged toward the restroohtly!" I added, raising my hands like I was a liquor-store clerk and she was a crack-addled petty thief It was never a good sign when the Antichrist dropped expletives "Just let ive back the book, the devil&039;s pissed at us, and-"

"Hey!"

"-and Antonia-"

"Dammit, what the hell?"

I looked-that was a fa froood one-oh my God, I can&039;t believe itI h it&039;s happening so, by definition, it&039;s very real"

"I didn&039;t exactly agree to give-" Laura began

Muffled, from the far back corner of my walk-in: "So in this closet right now!"

"And Antonia&039;s back," I finished I&039;d recognize those growled dulcet tones anywhere

"Betsy, about the bookwe&039;re going to need it, and I&039;s, but I didn&039;t agree to-"

"Whoa!" I scrambled out of the way as Garrett darted down the hallway towardsquished when he flew across the threshold He didn&039;t so es Then Antonia was rushing out-clogs flew everywhere-and into his arms so quickly she knocked him over They practically ether: ka-WHAM!

Mo to a stop about a foot from my ankles I could see Antonia looked exactly as she had in lifestill beautiful (it was disgusting how eous) She had the build of a swimsuit model and the complexion of an Irish ot out of bed Soooo irritating And hell must have a terrific salon, because her lustrous dark hair shone and her lean limbs were as finely toned as ever In fact, I could see more of her li off each other&039;s clothes

Wait They issued clothing in hell? Or did you have to, I don&039;t know, pack a suitcase? Or a stea quandary, Antonia looked up long enough fro to devour Garrett alive-that&039;s how it looked to me, anyway-to say, "Hey, bimbo Thanks for the ticket out of hell"

For Antonia, that was sincere, heartfelt, tearful gratitude Heck, I was al up at the warh "Don&039;t have sex with hinoredthe closet door you broke through And by doing that somewhere else Oh, come on! Do not, do not have sex on my bedroom floor At least move the extra shoes out of theoh, God Oh ine how you did that to soing oodness, because although I didn&039;t want them to defile my carpet, I wanted to see the was like a shuttle crash in slow motion You kno in action movies the hero always leaps forward in slow , drawn-out, "Noooooooooo!" Yeah It was exactly like that, except I didn&039;t have to pay 875 to see it

"At least lass cut uys! Gross! I forbid it! I&039;ht now on onna come out" I looked at Laura as she mercifully pulled my bedroom door shut "That won&039;t ever come out, Laura And there isn&039;t a dry cleaner on the planet ill touch it See? See what I have to deal with?"

Laura was unmoved by their romantic reunion and o tell your husband everything that&039;s happened"

"Okay Do we have a CliffsNotes version? Because telling Sinclair every single detail will take a long ti your mom my bitch and finish with &039;and now Garrett and Antonia are defiling our bedroom with fluids no one should be able to voluntarily produce much less spread around&039; And can we leave out the part where I ear instead?"

"Under no circule detail"