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A word about vampire superpowers: mostly I don&039;t notice thes in my life I&039;m too busy livin&039;, baby! Who has tiobs of sex) That probably sounds strange, because I haven&039;t been undead very long But it&039;s true After a while you realize you were bitching about so it seventeen roooing badand the garbage was already triple bagged and taken out into a sealed-off garage

It&039;s scary how fast you get used to it These days I took it for granted ally easy) But tonight I was listening hard, so even though ere all still in the kitchen, I heard Laura&039;s little sewing ine-powered Kia pull in

"She&039;s here," Sinclair and I said in unison Tina, whoIf that bothered him, he didn&039;t let on It probably took a lotfrom Tina to scare someone who used to have a Caesar haircut and was tortured for decades

Jessica and Marc both jumped "That&039;s creepy," Jessica said "And it always, alill be"

"Yeah, knock it off," Marc added

"Children, children," the Marc Thing said, still staring out the

"Tell ed

"Who cares?" I asked "You&039;ve got soe?"

"It&039;s the Soul," he explained "Kia&039;s new on is called the Soul"

"Oh, la, which was beyond blech "Get your own lines," I hissed to him To the others: "That&039;s just bad Lame, and bad And lah problems? The Soul"

"We&039;ve had this conversation before," D/Nick reminded me

"Well, I don&039;t remember it, so back off" As if I didn&039;t have waaaaytrack of Laura&039;s vehicles Well, I did, dammit In my old tiet her that Kia, which she loved almost as much as I loved new Manolos Her adopted dad, is what I meant; her real dad, also my dad, was dead

Wait, was he? Maybe in this timeline, he and (barf) my stepmonster, Antonia, were alive! And yes! I kno silly it is to have two people in the same house with the same weird name! So shut up!

How could I find out? Sure, everyone in the room knehat a moron I was, but that didn&039;thurry to reinforce and advertise it Was there a way to just casually ask, "So, isopen, and in carateful," she said by greeting "Now they&039;re more interested in paperwork over polite conversation"

"Thanks for co so-"

"Twice! I&039;ve worn those jeans twice! Not a speck of paint, which is no ht it&039;d be nice to give away clothing that was only &039;gently used&039; as opposed to falling off h? H," I tried again

Laura was shaking her perfectly coiffed hair out of her gorgeous eyes "Just &039;do you want a slip for your taxes?&039; No I do not, but how about some eye contact?" Laura was a luscious blondeclose to ive or take an inch, with beautiful blue eyes, a perfect pink-hued coeous fall of corn-silk blond hair Justsickening

"I&039;m here," she said unnecessarily "What&039;s-oh, God!" She was pointing at The Thing That Was Jessica&039;s Gut, and I couldn&039;t blame her "What-are you-what is that?"

"You haven&039;t noticed any subtle and not so subtle weirdnesses-"

"Is that even a word?"

"Shut up, Marc or Marc Thing" I hadn&039;t been looking, I was embarrassed to say That sly/sneaky tone could have come from either the live Marc or the dead one Because I didn&039;t Have enough Proble were you home? How&039;s your mom-not the devil, your other e? Do you have another sibling? New pets? Are old dead pets alive again? Is your dad-your live one, not our dead one-still a lare-"is the least of the scary-ass goings-on around here Here, Dick and Jess are practicallyhappily ever after"

Laura rounded onshrill accusations as bullets On the whole, I&039;d have preferred actual lead bullets "It&039;s because you didn&039;t feed on Nick ere in the past! You fed onwretch!"

"Ouch," I said mildly

"I warned you! Didn&039;t I warn you?"

"You were less shrill in the old tied his future, and Jessica&039;s!"

"You don&039;t have to "

"Excusehis arms around "First off, it&039;s Dick I hate Nick, I&039;ve hated it my entire life," Nick said "Second, didn&039;t feed on him? Could the studio audience hear the playback on that one, please?"

"No ti entry later Laura, the reason we called you here-"

"I don&039;t know nothin&039; &039;bout birthin&039; no babies"

"Cliche!" I said, clenching a fist in triumph "That&039;s been used to death in several sitcoht Court, Laura Be asha down a little "When our ministry spent a summer in Malae assisted at dozens of births There are at least three Lauras in Malawi, the ratitude is beco with you, but even so, you&039;re the worst Antichrist ever," Jessica said "Which is actually co Stay close"

"It&039;s not why you&039;re here"