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THIRTY

When we got back, I&039;d ed to put a few of my problems behind me to rave about the Lifeti sex, and since I didn&039;t have a plan, and since there was a zo an unusual amount of television this month

"Okay, so then-check this-the heroine does this-"

"But I hate Rene Russo," Jess co into the kitchen "She was the least interesting thing in Outbreak Theand it didn&039;t have to eot sick, okay, everyone else who caught it, they&039;re all bleeding out their ears and eyes, but she just sort of gets a mild flush That&039;s how you knew Rene Russo had the deadly plague They put more blush on her"

"You&039;ll like her in this, I bet She did this reet her to meet him, alone, and the only witness to his hideous unspeakable cris, stacking cans and frozen birds and boxes of Stove Top on the counter "Yeah She wouldn&039;t take off without a word to anyone to ht in the middle of a cornfield Unprecedented! And then, when the killer tried to reschedule, she turned hiain Yes!"

"That does sound kind of cool," Jess adh, she refused to leave the safety of her living roo by a wharf where all the streetlights had been broken out She said no And she lived to testify! Unprecedented! So, yeah, I wanna reward that behavior I&039; Rene Russo ever touched"

"You&039;re watching an unusual aht exactly!"

"Remember your Denzel marathon?"

"One movie isn&039;t a marathon," I corrected her, but I did remember It was the day after Marc had killed himself, so I&039;d had to watch the movie three ti to do anything else: Feed Cry Rage Think

"I don&039;t need Dead Man Walking; I need Man on Fire"

"When was the last ti through the DVDs I needed the movie, not the book The book was almost as much of a downer as DMW, which didn&039;t mean it was a bad book, just one I wouldn&039;t read twice And not now, of all tih: totally different story Denzel Washington&039;s character, Creasy, thought Dakota Fanning&039;s character had been kidnapped (she had been) and murdered (she hadn&039;t been) So he fucked with a bunch of bad guys and blew bad guys up and cut pieces off the and she got to go home to her mom Yes, definitely a ti about Sean Penn getting the needle while his nun friend watched helplessly and prayed and cried "Where is the fucking thing? It was right here last hen Marc was teasingelse Where the hell is it?"

"It&039;s-it&039;s here See? You buried it by accident while you were looking"

"At least that&039;s not a onna watch with me?"

"Betsy," my friend said, with an expression on her face thather words with care, "Creasy died at the end He saved the girland died"

I uess I didn&039;t, either

"You should be glad I&039; and all"

"I&039;lad," Jess admitted so diffidently I had to smile

"Movies? Cable television? Really? That&039;s your priority at this time?"

Didn&039;t even have to look I just shoved cans into random cupboards "Get bent, Wretched Me"

"For God&039;s sake" Hmm Nice to see Evil Old Me could still break the third commandment Wait Fifth? "I sent Marc back to help you"

"Soiggled and freaked everybody out and scared our Marc into killing hieyes and openit and I don&039;t believe it"

"Oh Yes Hello" Rude Elderly Me tipped a shallow nod inround"

I gripped the one can of cranberry jelly I hadn&039;t put away Right between the eyesthat ought to put a dent in her day Not to mention her skull "You watch how you talk to her, you clothes-grubbing harlot"

"I am here to-never mind why I&039;m here"

"See?" I said to Jessica, triu," reed

"It&039;s not only your turn to pull the freight, it&039;s your damned job What do you want me to do, tattoo instructions on your forehead?"

"You can&039;t talk to you like that," Jessica scolded

"You hear but you don&039;t listen You look but you don&039;t see"

"I fart but don&039;t stink I sha here? What a?"

"Whoa," Marc said, sha He walked pretty o ofI&039;d hated the ter before it was trendy, but I had to get over that, too

He didn&039;t sha at terrified roommates, he didn&039;t stare vacantly (except when he atching Drogo&039;s scenes in Garily (see above: only with Game of Thrones) He didn&039;t do any of that stuff He was a zombie, but he was still Marc He was stillpainted as a soulless bloodsucking dictator with a silly hard-on for good shoes (it wasn&039;t silly!), you&039;d think I&039;d catch on to that stuff a little quicker

He wasn&039;t a terrifying Pet See (And I&039;d thought toddlers were scary before I saw Gage Creed return frorave) He wasn&039;t lurch-ey or clumsy; Ancient Me apparently knew her shit when it ca the dead

At worst, he could be a speedy zombie My God! I had hated the Dawn of the Dead reuar after a gazelle! I&039;d been so, so happy whenzo around we all did in the past," Ancient Me said, holding her head like she was getting a , no action Until ere pushed to the wall And then it was often too late"

"Okay, that was al up "If you could elaborate just a teensy bit"

Before she could, a wild-eyed Nickie/Dickie/Tavvi burst through the kitchen door "You didn&039;t answer my texts!" he cried

"What texts?" Jessica fished her phone out of her purse, then looked up with a grih," I muttered

"Sorry, Dickie, but I didn&039;t know ue out at me "It&039;s his name Suck it up"

"So you&039;re okay?" He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her As much as he could, anyway I had to applaud his heroic effort "Jeez, don&039;t do that I was shitting bricks"